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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Information about my partner

5 replies

NamechangedHelp · 04/07/2020 19:21

Name changed for this one.

I have received information about my friend's partner. Apparently, he was on tinder when they first got together and had sex with a woman when she was drunk so she said he forced himself on her because she was unconscious and so didn't say yes.

Do I tell my friend. There is quite a bit of detail which matches up. But, my friend is really happy with him and he has a respectable job, moved in with her and is selling his home and pays for everything because she doesn't have much money. He seems to really look after her and she is happy after a very bad marriage.
My friend isn't very educated and I don't mean this to sound bad but he is quite a lot more educated than her and she is easy to con. I have been told he is with my friend since it gives him a good front and she will forgive anything he does because she loves him.

My other friend says he is still picking up women on pof and tinder and knows the woman that he had sex with or raped she is a really lovely person so I don't think she would say this if it didn't happen. I was thinking of joining both pof and tinder and finding him on there to show her but I also secretly think she might already know and be protecting him anyway since she seems to really love him and he has moved in with her.

What do I do.
AIBU - tell her
YANBU - leave it and do nothing

OP posts:
NamechangedHelp · 04/07/2020 19:21

title should be information about my friend's partner.

OP posts:
Spied · 04/07/2020 19:34

Don't interfere. Sounds like she'll need a friend if this man is like you think he is and if/when she realises this.
I'd not want to fall out with her or risk alienating her. Be there for her when she needs you.

missrabbit23 · 04/07/2020 19:38

Stay out of it even with proof she will never believe u.
This happened to me once. So I decided to tell my best friend what I knew about her partner. She said I was just jealous of there relationship, and I should stop making up lies. I even had proof.
You will loose a friend.
Let her figure it out for herself.
Plus it doesn't sound like she would leave him anyway even if she had proof.
Good luck, I know how hard this must be to keep from your friend.
Xx

BeautifulCrazy · 04/07/2020 19:44

I’d tell your friend. Just tell her what you have heard and then it’s up to her what she does with the information. You’re not presenting if you get as fact or making any judgement, you’re just telling her something you have heard. I hope it’s not true but unfortunately it’s very rare that women lie about being raped.

MushyPeasAreTheDevilsFood · 04/07/2020 19:48

How long have they been together?

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