To ask those of you who have got your teens through chronic depression and anxiety how you did it?

[M0iraR0se]

Ok I know I’m nbu but I’m desperate. Starting to realise CAMHs are going to do zilch and it’s going to be left to ds and I to beat this.

We’re talking in bed all day with curtains closed.

I was the teen. It took about 3 years to find the right medication, and I had 5 years of private therapy which I think was the key. Nhs funded therapy and CBT was useless.

I didn't have depression though, it was anxiety/agoraphobia/chronic insomnia. I'm late 30s now, and just passed my driving test!

I think finding the right therapist is really important.

My friends son had a fair few years of this and it sounds like you are on the right track with the talking for starters. She let him make all the decisions regarding what he needed to do to minimise his anxiety and supported him in it. So, if he doesn't feel like he can continue in school for example then that's a choice you need to support him in. Qualifications can always come later. They meditated together and spent time outside but at one point he spent about a year online gaming! With gentle persistence this turned into a general interest in computers which he's followed through with and at 20yo will be going to uni this Oct. He's a fabulous young man who came and built a computer for my own 11yo son earlier this yr. I think openness and patience/support is the way forward. Good luck 💟

Does you DS have any interest in sport of any sort? My DD found playing and coaching football her salvation when she was suicidal aged 15. I know it's not for everyone, but sport is a big feature for many sufferers getting better. DD is now 20 and has given a TED talk on how football saved her life and is very involved in helping others overcome depression and anxiety. There are many charities within varying sports which will help with counselling. I really hope your DS and you get the help you need.

Encouraging them to connect with others in other ways than gaming - so the beginning of a hobby, get them to join social media groups around it, volunteer, feel useful. I foster teens and bringing them into wider society helps their confidence and self worth. I’ve had them volunteering at charity shops, animal shelters, sports coaching and at an IT charity. Most have really come on from this but it can take time to build up to it.

The Princes Trust run a 12 week course that is excellent for 16+ too

Also examine your own relationship. It’s about connecting and supporting without enabling. It’s easy to skip into a pattern of assuming they won’t go along with an idea or opportunity. I try hard to present everything as if it’s something I believe they can do, and I think this helps.

For us changing schools helped and finding the right therapist is key. Maybe also look at diet, Vit supplements especially fish oil and acupuncture can help balance hormones and immune system.

He says he won’t be able to go to school in Sep as won’t be able to focus on anything.

Ordering vit D and requesting blood tests from GP.

What is that IT volunteering thing? Where do you get info re the other volunteering and can they volunteer under COVID? What is the Princes Trust thing?

We’re getting mixed messages from CAMHs and Young Minds who CAMHs told us to go to. Young Minds said they shouldn’t have.CAMHs have said let him sleep all day with curtains closed as his body is recovering from anxiety spells( pacing). Let him eat crap but don’t call it crap as body craves fat when going through something like this. Young Minds advisor had tough love approach - don’t give him food as he’ll have to come out of his room to feed himself, he’ll have to go to school in Sep as we’ll get fined, end of....He’s 16. It’s like soft love versus tough love and I’m so bloody confused. Have tried both. Got another CAMHs assessment Wed but just know we’ll be fobbed off although they did say he can’t answer the questions wrong.

Of course you can take your child out of school!

My heart is with you. It's very difficult. You are finding it hard because it just fucking is. Just keep stumbling along and trying your best. It's all you can do. XOXO

I was the difficult problem son. Diagnosed with major depressive disorder at 16, taking loads of drugs by 18 (pills, acid, etc, and smoking weed every day for years).

It changed when I started working (took two gap years) and had to maintain a reasonable veneer of dependability/respectability to be able to continue funding the things I became accustomed to through earning money (car, flat, etc).

I don't really think my parents could've done much tbh as I was determined to wallow in self pity. When I had to fend for myself I was pretty quick to drop the sob story and get on with it, but it's a risky situation for a parent IMO as it's hard to know the effect that 'calling one's bluff' will have. I used to threaten all kinds of things but really I was a manipulative little shit now I look back at it, and it wasn't helped by things like my parents bad relationship and having severe ADHD which made me struggle at school. I had to find my own way, which only came in my 30s after 15 years wasted trying to fit into a corporate job.