DD's 3rd birthday is next week. For every birthday and Christmas, MIL and SIL ask what they can get her, and I make a suggestion - always something small and affordable eg a book or a toy that is based on what she's currently into.
When it comes to the giving of the actual gift, instead of spending say £10 on one decent toy that she likes, they will spend double the amount on bags of things that are either far too old or too young for DD- a push along flashing toy that is aimed at encouraging babies who are just walking, for example, when DD was long past that stage and running/climbing like a monkey, a machine that blow dries your nails after painting them, when, well, she's not even 3 yet. It's all Poundland tat, but bags of it.
Obviously I smile and accept the presents politely, but it's starting to get noticeably ridiculous. They really do make a massive point of asking - usually in front of DH, they ask for links and everything, or they send messages - so I've no idea why they end up giving us the bags of tat. Mil and SIL I suspect take issue with some of our parenting choices - they'd say "my" parenting choices - so I don't know if it's a bit pointed.
The issue is that we simply do not have the room to store bags and bags of things that aren't going to be used. Our house is tiny and old, it doesn't even have a proper attic and there is only one small built in cupboard, we simply do not have the room. I am increasingly resentful of the stuff that we haven't chosen and do not want, taking up room that could be better used for other things. Sil and Mil also have left round large items that belonged to Sil's children who are older than DD, so we have some quite large clunky items too, that we didn't ask for but which they have left round. I am planning on leaving these back to their own houses or to charity shop them, but I feel uncomfortable at doing the same with the presents they give DD, as regardless they are gifts to her, and I was always raised to believe you had to always keep anything that was given to you.
It's not just presents for DD-Pils are very anti charity shops, and make a massive point of everything having to be saved, passed round family and kept - there was almost a battle royale when we refused SILs enormous highchair in favour of the basic IKEA one we got- the enormous highchair would not physically have fitted in our small kitchen. When we pointed this out, we were advised to get rid of our kitchen table (a wedding gift from a friend which we chose and bought) as what did we need it for when Sil's lovely highchair was ready and waiting for us? We were ungrateful and had to have everything our own way.
So there's going to be a row, but at this stage I don't care, because at the minute it's driving me mad to be surrounded by stuff I didn't choose and which is awkward and unsuitable for our home. Stupidly the whole situation is making me quite anxious and cross, probably because WFH with a toddler during lockdown has brought it home to me how we need to use the space we have as sensibly as possible, and I have been clearing out and rearranging some areas - only to be dealing with about 6 bags worth of shit next week
AIBU to fuck it all into the charity shop or bin?