nest rapidly emptying of dc

[romeolovedjulliet]

2 dc left home a couple of years ago and are in their own homes, tuesday 3 ds' moved out into their first home, they'd been saving for ages and i've been really excited for them as they've worked hard for it. the house now seems empty it's me dh and dd [21], i miss the aroma of socks, pizza cooking and their gaming ! not sad but it feels so different and quiet.
had a call last night from ds #4 to say he was cooking a roast for their dinner and he was grateful i had taught them all how to cook and look after a home. well that was it, for the first time in a long time i had a little cry, and now i miss them !
it gets better doesn't it ? anyone else going through this ?

I hear you. My two older sons moved out a couple of years ago, only me, DH and DS22 at home now. I enjoy the peace and quiet but at the same time really miss having them all around and the hustle and bustle of family life. They do come home regularly, go straight to the fridge and make lots of noise and it's lovely to see them. But they cope fine on their own and are well able to cook and look after a house, so I reckon we did a good job.

didn't mean to enable voting thanks drama you are right, it's the quietness after such a busy household. when the dc were young (6 under 10) it was the standing joke that it was like that song by 'madness' 'our house' 'there's always something going on and it's usually quite loud'

anyone else had this experience, how did you deal with it ?

Honestly, I am looking forward to the day the house is all mine! Both DD and DS moved out at separate times and came home again later, DD due to failed relationship, DS had been working abroad. I never actually got to be alone here as one of them was always here. So now I am sharing with both of them again. One 30, the other nearly 30! I love them of course and they are good company but actually I think I would quite like to try living on my own again!

My 3 big kids all moved out over the last 3 years. Theres just me, Dh and DD2 ( 15) left.

I love it. I have to say though by the time they had left I was at the end of my tether. I live in a cape style house. There would be 9 of us in here most of the time ( each of the big kids had a partner ). They would come home and start full on cooking at 10pm or later. The talking and smells from the kitchen would wake me up. I had very few "rules" and the few I did have they totally disregarded. It was impossible to get in the shower as there was always some one using it. My 4 car driveway was always full and somedays Id have to go wake someone for keys so I could move their car before I could get out for work ( I start at 6 am and NO no one would get up they would just give me their keys). Car and house doors slamming at all hours, lights and TVs constantly on somewhere. Trying to do laundry always involved finishing some one elses. People coming and going at all times. I love them dearly but I needed them gone by the time they did go lets not talk about the crap and mess they left when they went

My house is now peaceful and quite and they come to visit which is nice

I loved the busy house when they were younger but as I said I was sooo over it by time they moved out, each of them moved out at 23

@theoldtrout01876 your experience made me laugh. Yes, this is where we are.

• The washing machine is as busy as when they were toddlers.

• DD1's clutter (craft projects past, present & future) means the dining table is buried.

• There are empty plates and glasses on the coffee table from late night/early morning meals

DD2 and her DFiance went back to uni town this weekend and have moved into a flat together. They will be getting married as soon as they can arrange it. DD2 will be moving out as soon as her house purchase goes through (hopefully next month). This will leave DH & me plus DS(21). DS has applied to join the armed forces so may be going when recruitment restarts.

TBH I'm excited. We had originally thought we would be downsizing by this stage, instead we extended! We are planning to make some major changes to house layout as soon as we have the space. DH and I are going to have a dressing room. I am having a proper office rather than a dumping room.

We have decided that we will stay in this house for as long as possible. Even if he does get into the armed forces DS is likely to be back and forth for a few years. We want to have room for DCs to visit with their partners and maybe their own DCs. Our own parents downsized which made visiting a trial for all concerned.

This is the next stage.

I’ll be honest, I felt a bit like this the one day my children went back into school before they broke up. I was utterly bereft!

No idea how parents get through this at all, something I am already dreading

My son moved out and bought his first home nearly 2 years ago. (I don’t count university, as he was home during holidays). I miss him, but I am so happy he is an independent adult. When he comes home - here - it is great, but seeing him build his life is even better. I still have the dog and DH so everything is good.
The only downside is that we don’t have a taxi driver at home 🤣. We have to pay for one if we want a bottle of wine when we go out (or should I say went out).

@Mawbags if it is any reassurance by the time they are in their 20s it is quite possible that DCs will have had plenty of run ups at this:

• holidays
• university
• work trips

Also they are in their 20s. They have their own opinions, lifestyle, needs, wants.

We have spent lockdown with six adults in the house. We are all ready for the next stage.

I currently have 2 dc home from uni....they cook at 10pm at night...leave clothes everywhere....slam doors in the middle of the night...take up all my driveway....im counting down the days until September...i love them dearly but i want my nice peaceful quiet organised home back.

Mine are a toddler and a five year old. I try soooo hard to remember that one day the toys I trip over will be gone. There won't be a pushchair for shopping. There won't be a packet of nappies in the living room and bath toys next to the bath. I can't even imagine getting to the point where they are no longer here. It's sad life isn't it. It's happy but sad. Nothing lasts forever. I love both my kids equally. But I feel extra nostalgic about my first child's baby year. I think it was one of the happiest years. Just having a quiet calm first year as a mum. She was so content.

Aghhh I'll be a wreck. Hopefully you get to enjoy grandchildren and stuff in a few years. I will be the same though. X

I found it got better when I searched online and found how many people were feeling the same.

Then one of them came back for several years. He moved out at the beginning of lockdown, and I honestly haven't missed him.

It helps that I have a lot of other activities and voluntary work in my life, so I think about them, not about children. And it's nice not to worry about producing a nutritious evening meal each evening - we can eat crap if we feel like it.

For myself I am just excited. This is a new stage for them and for us. It's a chance to get on with making the house what we want it to be rather than what we need it to be. I can make my own decorating choices without having DDs telling me I'm wrong!

Mine are 7&10, so still largely sweet biddable types.

So yes, I am probably somewhat shielded from reality here!!