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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think there must be a way to stop baby flailing arms/rubbing eyes and waking himself up every 45 minutes?!

55 replies

Hallomother · 04/07/2020 12:16

Just that really. DS was a brilliant sleeper up until he turned six months and now has turned into a demon baby at night.
Last night he woke up every 45 minutes between midnight and 6am because he was lifting his legs up and slamming them down (wind) which would then cause him to stir, then he flails his arms around like a demented windmill, rubs his eyes and properly wakes himself up. The same thing happens as soon as he tries to settle himself. He immediately goes back to sleep on me if I pick him up and have him in a tight grip so he can't flail, wakes as soon as I put him down again.

He goes to sleep on a Lila Kuddis pillow initially (has a little wonky head that is getting better) which I remove before I go to sleep, so Imight stop giving him that although he settles much better on it. Won't give it to him overnight as he can roll now (selectively!)

I wind him thoroughly before bed. Pace feed him his formula. His room is dark apart from his projector light and I don't think he was too hot/too cold.

I think he's teething at the moment, could that be what the arms/face rubbing is about?

I was actually a bit worried about seizures/spasms as the arm movements are a little strange and repetitive but they stop as soon as I pick him up or gently hold them down so I think it's just erratic movement.

Any tips GLADLY received as I'm hoping to actually get some sleep tonight!

OP posts:
OkPedro · 04/07/2020 14:27

My daughter used to do the banging legs on the mattress thing Grin
She would wake herself with the flailing arms and then the leg banging would start. She stayed awake for 6 hours during one night, banging her legs and then talking to herself!
She’s 12 this year
I think it lasted 4 weeks and then she started to sleep through the night

Jubaju · 04/07/2020 14:35

I wish people wouldn’t suggest dangerous things and it shouldn’t be allowed on here.

If someone followed the advice given to swaddle a baby that can ROLL and didn’t know any better .... That is dangerous and could be life changing.

I suggest anyone suggesting that should read up on lullaby trust guidance.

Thankfully the OP isn’t going to do it, but someone could. Angry

Original poster
Hallomother · 04/07/2020 14:43

@OkPedro I love that she's 12 and you still remember this

OP posts:
partofyoupoursoutofme · 04/07/2020 14:56

Oh the leg banging 🤦‍♀️ my 5 month old is doing this currently, and the eye rubbing and arm waving. Last night she wanted me to hold her most of the night, after being a fairly decent sleeper. I'm hoping it's a development thing, my first woke every 45 mins from 4 months until 8 months and I am dreading that happening again! Solidarity @Hallomother

nowayhose · 04/07/2020 15:25

Definitely sounds like the startle reflex. I reduced my DD's by putting heavier blankets on her legs at night, but it was winter when I was going through it, not summer Sad, so that's no help .

You could try putting some books under the feet at the head of the cot to raise your DS's head higher than his legs, it helps with any reflux and may reduce the leg thrashing ?

I'd definitely be trying to put him to bed awake though, (sleepy, but awake) as falling asleep upright, tightly snuggled and on his front won't help him 'learn' how to self settle when he does wake.

Above all, do what you think is right for your DS, and remember, ALL the 'phases' will pass...........Grin

OkPedro · 04/07/2020 15:42

It was exhausting at the time but I look back fondly now hallomother

Liland · 04/07/2020 16:04

Is he practicing new skills? Mine went through periods when learning to roll, sit up, stand, crawl, walk, talk (this one is ongoing), where he would practice frequently through the night every night for weeks until he had it down. He's always so angry when he wakes himself up doing it and realises he's not asleep... Nightmare!

LiveFatsDieYoGnu · 04/07/2020 16:10

My 4.5 month old is the same - he fails and rubs and rubs at his face and scalp in his sleep until it wakes him up. If I shush him he'll settle for a bit, and if I bring him into bed with me he stops almost completely, so I'm really not sure why he is doing it. It's soul destroying as he's now happily going 4 hours between feeds at night but I'm not getting any more sleep then I was when he was newborn! No help here I'm afraid OP, but bucketloads of solidarity!

Duckduckduck123 · 04/07/2020 16:16

You said that it's bang on 12 every night, could something be waking him? Maybe causing the startle reflex of arms and legs flailing?
Does your heating click on, or your neighbours maybe? Something like that

Original poster
Hallomother · 04/07/2020 20:30

It could be us coming to bed although we tend to come up about 11 but I guess midnight is when me and DH are done in the bathroom and it's gone quiet again

Psyching myself up for another night of it

OP posts:
PrawnRingonit · 04/07/2020 21:33

I have a 2 year old now, but oh my god I remember this phase so vividly, reading your post. My understanding was/is that it’s neither safe to put them to sleep on their front, not to use a swaddle at six months. Only thing that worked for us was simply waiting it out. It’s a normal developmental thing. Maddening though. You have all my sympathies. It passed within a few weeks.

jgjgjgjgjg · 04/07/2020 21:43

Does he not automatically turn onto his tummy or side now? I assume he can roll over and back by himself now? Seems odd to flail your arms around in any position other than lying on your back.

bestbrowsintown · 04/07/2020 21:45

Could you try moving him into his own room?
Practice as much tummy time as possible with him during the day because as soon as he strong enough to roll both ways he'll likely choose to sleep on his front and you'll get a full nights sleep.

I know you won't but for anyone else reading

Do not ever swaddle a baby who can roll!!!

Norabird · 04/07/2020 21:55

Did he just start having some food at 6 months? It could be that something is disagreeing with him. My youngest would get very distressed every night at 11 pm. It stopped when we discovered he had a food intolerance (from other symptoms) and stopped giving him that food. I hadn't considered it could be food-related!

Pikachubaby · 04/07/2020 22:03

My oldest did this. Reflux baby.

What helped was propping up the head end of his mattress slightly, as it help stop the contents of his stomach flowing back into his mouth (reflux)

They do grow out of the startled arms thing

You know how it’s called “falling asleep” as you have an actual falling feeling? Some people respond to this feeling by flailing their arms. I still do this sometimes Grin

Lots of babies do this, most grow out of it

Casschops · 04/07/2020 22:17

My son was afraid of his own arms. I swaddled him till 9 months he loved it.

Original poster
Hallomother · 04/07/2020 22:20

He's on his back. He can roll both ways but he's lazy and does it selectively so far not in his cot but he's not been in it very long so I don't think he's worked out he has the room yet

He's started on purees but only the tiniest bit every other day so far

Please god let him sleep tonight!

OP posts:
PippaPug · 04/07/2020 22:26

Have you tried a thicker grow bag, or a wadded sleepsuit?
My boys like the “weight” of a thicker grow bag on them and I noticed with one baby they slept better in the wadded sleepsuit due to the weight on their arms (stopped his arms hitting his face!) the other twin is a leg banger 😂 so I tuck his grow bag down the side of the cot so he can’t lift his legs up as much and he is sleeping better now - I think the leg banging was waking him up!

Minikievs · 04/07/2020 22:48

My first I always put to sleep on his back (as recommended) and at 6 months, boom. He stopped sleeping and was up all night virtually, it was hideous.
My second I put to sleep on her tummy and she slept the whole night except for a quick feed. Fed her, bank on her tummy, slept again.
It isn't recommended but if I ever had a third (NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN) I'd put them to sleep on their front as soon as I could.

Original poster
Hallomother · 04/07/2020 22:54

I think he's probably going to be a tummy sleeper eventually but as a first time mum I'm too nervous to put him on his tummy! Not judging what you did at all and I'm glad it worked for you.
Thanks for the solidarity everyone when I'm awake and slightly deranged at 4am I shall read over them again if my eyes will stay open

Currently trying to settle him as tonight he's decided he won't be going in his cot at all thank you very much
This is after near choking on Calpol he guzzled too quickly (teething which isn't helping the sleeping I'm sure) so I'm feeling completely fraZzled and stressed out already and the nightly dance hasn't even started yet!

I was thinking of trying a thicker grobag actually incase he's cold so will give that a bash tonight. Desperately clutching at straws !

OP posts:
Fatted · 04/07/2020 22:58

My eldest used to do the leg banging thing. He had bad reflux. It does sound like he's in discomfort. When does he have his last feed before bed? Is he sitting upright, or falling asleep upright against you for a while after his last feed? Also if you're weaning him, make sure anything is being given in the morning incase it's that not agreeing with him. Are you feeding him when he wakes up? I vaguely recall both of mine randomly waking up wanting a feed some nights around six months.

Wattonearth · 04/07/2020 23:00

You could try this sleeping bag worked wonders with DD she used to have a startle reflex awaking her as she lifted her arms
www.jojomamanbebe.co.uk/love-to-dream-swaddle-b1687.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI9qTf1su06gIVEdGyCh0A0wFiEAQYASABEgKYy_D_BwE

Original poster
Hallomother · 04/07/2020 23:41

Thanks for the suggestion but he's too old for a swaddle now as he can roll and hasnt been swaddled since he was dinky so think he would completely freak out

OP posts:
SandieCheeks · 04/07/2020 23:45

If he’s 6 months and can roll I’d put him on his tummy.

SandieCheeks · 04/07/2020 23:48

Maybe if you’re worried about front sleeping you could just put him down on his front for naps when you’re watching him, then he will learn himself to rollover at night if you put him down on his back.

All mine did that by 6ish months - I’d place them down on their backs and they immediately rollover and go to sleep.

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