I’m really just looking for reassurance to say I’m not the only person who’s ever felt this way and perfectly happy to be told I just need to chill out a bit... it’s to do with my SIL
I’m currently 18 weeks pregnant and both our families were over the moon when we told them. SIL and I have a good but at times strained relationship, we get on perfectly fine but have very different values and beliefs... she was brought up in a very Christian household and I wasn’t so a lot of her beliefs and values align strictly with the Catholic Church and mine don’t. I wholeheartedly respect her beliefs and her right to raise her family as she sees fit however I’m not always sure that she feels the same towards me.
A couple of examples... when getting married DH and I decided not to have a church wedding as we don’t attend or believe in it, she commented that it wasn’t a “real wedding” I was furious but let it go.
She has also asked multiple times whether we plan to have the baby christened and we’ve agreed we will discuss it when the time comes because we are in two minds (it would mean a lot to MIL but I’d feel like a hypocrite)
She is very vocally pro life - entirely up to her how she feels however I am pro choice and she will send typical pro life photos to me to show how awful it is (I don’t believe I could ever have a termination myself however I do believe it is not up to me to judge others!)
Anyway I sometimes feel she doesn’t quite accept me, when DH and I got engaged she had a chat with him about how important it is to make sure he’s really happy and marrying the right person - he set her straight that he was more than happy and that she would either have to accept it or not be involved in our lives.
With all the above and more I feel anxious about her relationship with our baby when they are born. I would never ever stop a family member having a relationship with them (unless I believed they would be a risk to the babies safety which I don’t believe she would be) but I can’t help feeling like she’ll be overwhelming and can’t shake the anxiety this gives me. I don’t feel it when it comes to anyone else... her reaction to finding out I was pregnant was that she couldn’t wait to have the baby over night and we have a family wedding to attend a few months after the baby is born and she keeps making comments about how I will be wanting to let my hair down and enjoy myself so she’ll take the baby to mind for the day and over night (she will also be at the wedding).
I do believe deep down she means well - despite what I’ve said she isn’t a nasty person can just be judgemental but because of the judgemental side to her it makes me uncomfortable to think of her minding my baby alone.
This is my first baby after suffering a MC a couple of years ago so I realise there is possibly an element of me being over protective and I’m sure there are some hormones leading to this... my DH and I had a bit of a chat about it earlier and I think he does understand to a point where I’m coming from.
Has anyone else ever experienced this? And does it get any better? I really don’t want to feel this way I just can’t seem to shake it at all.