To miss being pregnant 6 months after baby?

[MummaW88]

I know most people will think I’m crazy, but I loved being pregnant so much. It took us 2 years of trying and a miscarriage before having DD, who I absolutely adore. She is my whole world.

But I feel insanely jealous of people who are pregnant, even though I’ve just experienced it myself! I feel almost as jealous as I did before having DD. I think it’s partly down to how much of a struggle it was to have her and fears that I won’t ever get to experience pregnancy again...

I cherished every moment of my pregnancy and yet still feel like I didn’t make the most of it. Am I the only one to feel this way? I don’t even want another baby any time soon as I had a very traumatic labour/birth, and also because I want to enjoy my time with DD before possibly bringing another child into the mix.

Please tell me this is normal and will pass!

YANBU to feel that way and congratulations on your long waited for DD!

FWIW I hated being pregnant first time round, missed it when DS was born and now pregnant again and am hating it once more!

@Doggybiccys oh I loved the baths, DD used to move like crazy!

@Eggyhead7 that’s exactly it, I’ve never felt so confident within myself as I did then. 28 weeks was a lovely time!

@LiveFatsDieYoGnu DD was a terrible sleeper at first too, it did get better, I hope it does for you too!

@Dollywilde it’s that never feeling as close again. She was my special little thing, her little kicks were mine! And now I have to share her 😂

@Napqueen1234 I think that’s why I miss it so much as I know even if I was to have another, it wouldn’t be the same experience as the first time!

@TheLovleyChebbyMcGee definitely not just you! And DD was hard work too, which probably adds to that feeling! I really thrived in my pregnancy and then it was like a shock to the system being a first time mum!

@KatnissK i felt like that, I can’t believe she’s 6 months already it just flew by! I’m already nostalgic for her being a tiny newborn! And I was definitely in a state too, I had a very rough labour and wasn’t well for quite a while afterwards.

@Fluffymulletstyle I was relieved to have her here safely but as for having my body back, I loved my body pregnant. Even now I find my hand going to cradle a bump that isn’t there! I wouldn’t want one until DD is maybe 4 or 5 as I know from friends how hard it is having a toddler and a newborn.

@vincettenoir ahhh I loved the break from the periods! Especially as I now have them every 2 weeks 🙄 yes everyone warned me about how rough I would feel when I told them I was pregnant, and thought I was mad when I said I loved being pregnant!

@Slat3 the thought of never being pregnant again makes me sad! I think even if I had ten babies I’d feel that way though.

@UserFriendly14 thank you I think as humans were just never happy with what we’ve got are we 😂 congratulations on your pregnancy ❤️

I think this will be me! Nearly 38w now but took three years, couple of miscarriages and Clomid to get here. I've been telling myself to prepare for her to be an only, and it's like I've felt more pressured to enjoy pregnancy because it's probably my only chance. But then covid kind of screwed up me being able to make the most of it, lost my adults only sunshine just before lockdown and didn't get the money back

Comparison is the thief of joy, is what I am trying to remind myself...

@EnglishRain I’m so sorry after all you’ve been through that COVID has ruined your experience. I’ve been saying for months now that I’m so thankful I had my little girl when I did. Although my maternity leave with her hasn’t been what I wanted it too, we haven’t been able to do anything. I really hope you enjoy what’s left of your pregnancy

I get it. My eldest dd, now 13, was somewhat of a miracle after ectopics and miscarriages and being on the brink of starting IVF injectables when I learned I was expecting her. I was still almost as envious of pregnant people afterwards as I was when I had no dc. I think it's because, to me, it felt like other people would just think "I want another baby" and hey presto, they would be pregnant again, whereas I was all too aware of how things could go wrong and how I had no control over any of it. Now she has a younger brother (5) and sister (3) who I was just as astonished to conceive after hearing I had a negligible egg supply at age 35. The actual experience of pregnancy for me was bittersweet though, with medication for relentless nausea and vomiting, random bleeds and constant anxiety at every stage that something would go wrong. I always felt safer with the baby out, especially in the last trimesters I was terrified something would happen to them in utero and I wouldn't know they were in trouble. Now I am aging out of the whole thing and recently single, so it is now officially out of my hands!

You're not crazy! I adored pregnancy too ok so not the last month

@everythingbackbutyou I think that’s a big part of it for me too, the ease with which it seems to come to others (although granted you don’t always know the difficulties people have!) I had friends who would cry after trying for 2 months and not being pregnant yet and I’d be like “hello! 2 years!!” (In my head 😂) I’d had a load of tests done and was due to attend an appointment with a fertility specialist when I found out I was expecting DD. I worried constantly, even towards the end I’d be checking for blood every time I went to the bathroom! Maybe it’s something about having such a tough time getting pregnant in the first place that makes you miss it so much after. I’m glad you got your 3 miracles in the end

@firstimemamma I must admit the last month was tough, especially as I went 2 weeks overdue! I was ready for it to be over by that point but I just hope I get to experience it again one day, it was amazing

@MummaW88, it's true. Lots of people have opened up about their struggles when I share my parenthood story - it constantly amazes me how many people don't have an easy road or who have had their babies via IVF, even a couple of people I've known casually who I always assumed had no problem just because their children are close in age.

Omg it was the opposite for me. Anytime anyone says they're pregnant I am so so so glad it's not me (and that's after 7 years of trying, fertility medication, an ectopic, miscarriages and finally by rainbow son seven months ago).
My pregnancy was full of anxiety, low mood. Reduced movements, gestational diabetes, an awful labour, my son was on the cusp of being oxygen deprived. They couldn't get him out with forceps or suction, I was cut, needed a blood transfusion. I'm actually on a waiting list for therapy to come to terms with it after suffering horrendous PND I was nearly admitted to a psychiatric hospital.
So yeah I feel no envy whatsoever and would never have another child!

Of course NBU but I find it incredibly hard to imagine feeling like that! I do sometimes miss breastfeeding and found something very special about having a newborn. Pregnancy I found to be a gruelling, boring and anxiety-provoking experience at best. At worst, hyperemesis and terrible headaches. I was unable to do my job properly past three months in either pregnancy because my IQ collapsed and complex intellectual work was just too difficult. The anxiety was a result of wondering if I would ever recover from what felt like mild brain damage. In fact, part of what I liked about having a newborn was the feeling of my MIND, not my body (which felt completely given over) being returned to me.

@everythingbackbutyou you just never know do you, people don’t tend to talk about it u less you do first, which is a shame really as I always found it comforting in a way to know it hadn’t come so easily to others. It gave me hope.

@Someone1987 I had a really rough labour too, won’t bore you with all the details but 36 hours of intense pain, resulting in me being cut and losing a lot of blood (3 blood transfusions and still on iron tablets now!) it did initially put me off the idea of having another but I loved the pregnancy so much and I’d love a sibling for DD one day. I didn’t know you could have counselling until months later, I probably would have benefited from that as it did really traumatise me. I hope counselling helps for you.

@hopsalong I’m sorry you had such a bad pregnancy. I’m sure if I had had a hard time too I wouldn’t feel this way. I’m just very lucky to have had a wonderful pregnancy. It’s understandable you wouldn’t long for something that was so difficult for you.