Not letting child out with friends

[FantasyPanda]

My dd, 11, has a friend who is a little bit pushy in my opinion. She has asked multiple times during lockdown if my dd could hang out and of course I said no. Today she's being very pushy to my dd about going out with her to a large shopping complex which has just started opening up. I've told my dd that I don't feel comfortable with her going out quite yet as cases where I am has started to rise again. Her friend will not accept no for an answer and is pressuring my dd to keep asking me. AIBU to say no?? I feel like the bad guy here.

Is your issue specifically with this girl, or are you concerned that they won't social distance if they meet up? If the latter, you could suggest that they meet but you will be observing from afar?
Or they could just have a sit and chat in the park type meeting?
I think it's a bit mean not to let them meet up if your DD wants to.

You are feeling like the bad guy, because you are the bad guy, the kids are not asking to do anything that has not been legal and within the guidelines for over a month in England, so it's purely your choice to limit them.

You can carry on saying no, it's your right, but you have to own it and admit you are the bad guy and I'd say justify it to your daughter, if your reasons are good, I imaging she'll stop bugging you about it.

11 seems quite young to me, I would trust your gut.

@RedskyAtnight I'd be the same with any of her or my other children's friends. It's just this one who has been constantly asking.
I wouldn't be able to go with them as I have younger children at home too and I'm not comfortable with carting them out as well. I know I'm being over protective, but right at this moment I feel like I need to as one of my DDs has severe asthma and I'd hate for anything to be brought back no matter how small the risk.
I know they also will not social distance, from each other or other people in the shops.

I think you are putting your DD’s mental health at risk! Unless you have a health condition or she does, there is no issue in her taking advantage of the lockdown easing. In fact, she should be encouraged to go and play with her friends.

@sirfredfredgeorge She understands my reasons to not want her going out right now, and she agrees with me. But every time she comes to me saying "friend is asking again to go out" it makes me feel bad, not for my DD as she told me she doesn't really want to go, but for the girl. DD keeps telling her no, and I can tell she was getting annoyed with her today.

I think 11 is too young anyway but you could let them meet in your garden if you have one, and then you can supervise the 2m from afar?

But every time she comes to me saying "friend is asking again to go out" it makes me feel bad, not for my DD as she told me she doesn't really want to go,

I suspect your DD does want to go out. She wouldn't continually tell you she is being asked otherwise.

As above post. Looseno the apron strings a bit,

@FishyDuck it's not going out to play, it's walking across busy main roads, to go to a busy enclosed shopping mall full of tiny shops where distancing can't realistically be done.

One of the jobs for a mother, is teaching children how to say no and mean it, when necessary. And it's frequently going to be necessary during her teens. Your DD is asking for that guidance.

A baby step which I offered to mine was , feel free to use us as your excuse

" I absolutely can't do that because it's banned by my mother/father who is a mean ogre/ hopelessly old-fashioned/unreasonable/out of touch ."

"I'm grounded, and they won't let me out".

@2bazookas Thank you, I think she was looking for validation that it was ok to say no. She's not very confident and I don't want her doing stuff she doesn't want to do just to make others happy. I told her she can use me as an excuse if she wanted to and she did.
I know I shouldn't be wrapping them up in cotton wool, but I couldn't forgive myself if something either A, happened to her or B, she or another child got sick.

This is a tough one.
Either you're being overbearing and controlling. Your daughter wants to go out and see her friends and you're stopping her and, because of your irrational behaviour, she can't even tell you honestly that she does want to go. If this is the case then YABU. She's 11, she's allowed friends, she's allowed to go out - she's a child, not a prisoner.
Alternatively, your daughter doesn't want to go outside or see anyone and is being harassed into doing so. This has two problems: 1. Your daughter has no desire to interact with her peers and probably has a mental health problem and 2. Your daughter is incapable of establishing boundaries with her peers and needs guidance on establishing these.

Your daughter has no desire to interact with her peers and probably has a mental health problem

Having no desire does not indicate a probable mental health issue. Many people are introverts and have enjoyed lockdown because of the pressure to socialise isn't there.