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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think British people could bother to turn on video during introductions?

207 replies

GinDaddyRedux · 03/07/2020 12:15

So I've joined a new department. It's based in the UK, but we work across geographies - Asia, parts of west Africa, and Europe.

We had a core team introduction video call on Tuesday. Everyone at the moment is working from home due to COVID-19.

For information, I'm relatively senior, but the incumbent manager was hosting the call. It was specifically labelled on Teams as "Video introduction with XXXXYY team" etc.

We go on the call, 15 people, and those from Asia and Africa and Europe? All had their video on, all very friendly and positive.

The Brits? I couldn't actually believe it, but aside from the manager who was excellent, not one person had their camera on. Just a black screen with their initials.

Now this is not the first time I've experienced this. At a previous department, it was the same sort of culture. Some folk especially from IT or HR were happy to have the camera on, but anyone from the project teams? Oh no, not us...never ever on.

I think that's fine if you're sharing slides, or you know the people, but this is team building in the time of COVID. Surely it's not unreasonable to expect that when the only tool for connecting is video, then someone could be bothered to quickly say "hello" and smile at folk to make them welcome?

It was also notable how the people with black screens/letters, barely spoke. The critical in me was thinking whether they come on the call, mute their mic, then wander around doing other tasks. Yes video calls can be too numerous and lengthy, but it's such a poor way to make a first impression.

AIBU here? I remember seeing a topic on this last year on here and being roundly told to "keep my nosey (sic) beak out of my house", as if I want to see into someone's furniture and upholstery choices!! Nope couldn't care less about your house, I just actually want to interact with my team!

OP posts:
GimmeAy · 03/07/2020 13:34

Btw, I'm not British, but I abhorr videos on as it's like looking at yourself in the mirror during a call. Some of us have faces made for radio, and don't like looking at ourselves. I get distracted by trying not to do what I obviously do, which is to perch my chin on my hand and such. I find zoom distracting, whereas if you're meeting in person you're not reminded about how you look all the time.

CoalTitCafe · 03/07/2020 13:37

I think YANBU but then again I do job most meetings in my PJs, so what can you do?

BronwenFrideswide · 03/07/2020 13:39

But the Asia/Europe crew don't consider it intrusive. They were at home too, they had every right to feel offended by intrusion, but they didn't. They switch their cameras on, they have done on every call since I've been with this department, and others have done in previous departments.

So why do the UK-based lot seem to have an issue with "intrusion" more than the other countries?

I don't know but they shouldn't be mocked or berated for it, it should be personal choice and accepted as such without denigration. Communication without actually seeing someone is just as effective as it always has been.

UnhappyMondays · 03/07/2020 13:42

YABU.

I have worked from home for well over 10 years in Tech sector on many international projects for all the major players (MS, IBM, Google, AWS etc) and have never met anyone or any of my clients and have only ever had one video call during the course of work (within the U.K.). Which was totally unnecessary.

If the job gets done then what does it matter? It adds very very little practically in my experience.

Iwalkinmyclothing · 03/07/2020 13:43

Because each and every one of us got together and created a plan not to do so, solely to piss you off. It was a great meeting, all 65 million of us were in full agreement. I must report back that it was a success :)

TooTrueToBeGood · 03/07/2020 13:47

I work from home and never put my video on. Main reason is I'm invariably very casually dressed with my hair all over the place.

Your small sample size is meaningless as an indicator of an entire nation. Besides, you could equally conclude that the other nationalities don't feel as empowered as their British colleagues to decline to do something they themselves may equally prefer not to.

WhatTiggersDoBest · 03/07/2020 13:51

Why should they have their camera on? What if they're blowing their nose or drinking tea? Why would they want to distract from the main speaker? Why do you need to see people when they're not talking? Do you have object permanence issues, OP?

TheClitterati · 03/07/2020 13:56

I'm British, do lots of Zooms with Brits (& others) and have not experienced this.

Paradiseinportugal · 03/07/2020 13:57

@Iwalkinmyclothing

Because each and every one of us got together and created a plan not to do so, solely to piss you off. It was a great meeting, all 65 million of us were in full agreement. I must report back that it was a success :)
Great response to a very xenophobic thread.
AdoptAdaptImprove · 03/07/2020 13:58

We have found that even with a team of fewer than 20, we all suffer from variable bandwidth due to others working at home, other connections to the WiFi etc. We have discovered that, on some of our ancient laptops, the cameras don’t work. The only working space available to others means they are silhouettes against a bright window. Yet others are sharing their workspace with a school aged child who would be in shot.

Lots of good reasons why they may not appear on video, or it would be unhelpful to do so. Ask that others upload a profile photo which will appear on their name card, and the issue is resolved. It’s very unlikely to be a cultural issue. Did you ask them if they’d mind switching to video briefly so that everyone could put a name to a face?

Tapio · 03/07/2020 13:59

We have a monitor and tower, no option to turn on a webcam we don’t have...

EwwSprouts · 03/07/2020 14:00

DH can't turn his camera on as when lockdown hit the company didn't have enough laptops so he came home with a PC that doesn't have a camera. The company decided no-one below board level needed a company phone a couple of years ago. So for him it's a tech issue not a matter of can't be bothered.

Tapio · 03/07/2020 14:00

Plus I’m in a dressing gown eating left over Easter eggs

HeadSpin5 · 03/07/2020 14:01

I don’t mind video calls if I’m expecting them - I have 9-10 meetings a week and some I know expect video others don’t. The point being made about bandwidth is hugely relevant though, I can’t have video on if DP is trying to work at same time

RedRumTheHorse · 03/07/2020 14:03

YABU

l've WFH on and off for over 15 years. I rarely used my video in all that time. At the moment if I use my video in the working week I end up with the screen freezing due to bandwidth problems. In fact, it has got some bad on some occasions I've had to dial in.

In some of my roles I've spent months talking to people abroad and have made the effort to go and meet them in person even though they have gone to an office that isn't near me in the UK.

sillysmiles · 03/07/2020 14:04

I think on a regular meeting not having your video on is fine, but when the purpose of the meeting is an introduction then it is unreasonable to not turn on the video for introductions.

Tootletum · 03/07/2020 14:05

My husband is British, I am not. I don't put the camera on, he is on the fucking thing for 7 hours a day and it drives me absolutely insane because if anyone comes into the room, he waves them away.

tiredanddangerous · 03/07/2020 14:09

I have my camera off because with two adults in and out of teams meetings plus a 12 year old doing online lessons the wifi is shit and can’t cope.

KitKat2020 · 03/07/2020 14:10

So why do the UK-based lot seem to have an issue with "intrusion" more than the other countries?

It’s not a nationality thing. It’s the workplace culture within your new team.

SamsMumsCateracts · 03/07/2020 14:10

My husband spends almost all day on MS Teams calls due to the collaborative nature of his job, which is very technical and can't be done on laptops. They had to bring their desk tops home from the office to be able to do their work. None of them have webcams, so no one can have the camera on during meetings. For many, I suspect it's a tech issue rather than not wanting to. Not everyone owns their own laptop and will have bought computers home from work.

TooTrueToBeGood · 03/07/2020 14:13

Another possibility is the British have read this recent piece on BBC News:

I flashed my naked boobs at my hubby whilst he was on a work video call, forgetting that he was sitting in front of a mirror

My husband is working from home during the lockdown. His office is full of boring stuffy shirts who are also working from home and I thought it would be hilarious one day while he was on quite an important teleconference meeting to burst into the office, pull my top up and waggle my boobs at him. It wasn't a quick flash - it was a prolonged, bouncing episode that was probably quite horrible to behold.

Then I realised that he has quite a big mirror behind his head and I was standing facing him, behind his computer screen, performing.

Literally everyone who was on the conference call would have been able to see the reflection behind his head. They had a full-on full monty.

It was horrifying when I realised everyone could see.

They were all too polite to say anything but they can't have not seen. I think there was some sniggering. My husband was pretending nothing had happened. He didn't find it remotely funny at the time, but afterwards he found it a bit funny.

KitKat2020 · 03/07/2020 14:16

@TooTrueToBeGood

That’s hilarious!

Chloemol · 03/07/2020 14:18

Oh go away.

Lots of British people have their videos on when making calls

user1471523870 · 03/07/2020 14:18

I work for a large multinational company and we all have our cameras on. In my team, it might happen there is a bad connection or other specific reasons but I never had to ask anyone to switch the camera on. With larger video conferences it happens more but it's rare in general.
We deal with people and we are used to the face-to-face interaction on video. Also, we always say the purpose to keep it on is to keep in touch and it doesn't really matter if we show up with no make up or a messy house. It's really not big deal and it makes us feel closer, as we are all in the same situation.
In our environment, I would find it very rude and unprofessional to be honest.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 03/07/2020 14:19

I might be stereotyping as well here, but I understand that a lot of cultures - especially various Asian ones - value conformity much more than we do in the UK. Your boss tells you how things are done and you just do it, as you don't question authority and maybe see that as the quick route to losing your job or other sanctions or negative work/social consequences in countries where employment rights are often, in practice, non-existent.

I remember reading about an employee in North Korea who accidentally broke a sewing machine and his boss laid into him, forced him to replace it out of his already poverty wages and told him "That was a very useful and valuable sewing machine, whereas YOU are worth nothing". IIRC, there were also serious repercussions for his whole family.

I know that NK is the extreme case, but I also think we don't always appreciate the relatively privileged rights and freedoms as individuals that we do have.

Just pondering....