Dh lack of birthday consideration

[Notfeelinggreattoday]

Prepared to be told im wrong
But my birthday present from dh was some blown up balloons - with lights in
No gift as didnt know what to get
A bottle wine , some chocolates would of done
Nothing on mothers day either
His answer was you can go buy yourself something you like
Aibu to think this is a poor effort

He should have gotten you something no matter how small. Balloons are an add on gift, unless of course you love balloons. With him storming out and buying a gift, tbh I'd rather have nothing as that will have been bought in temper. Only good thing is he'll remember to buy something in future.

Nothing on monthers day either

What's he like in the rest of your relationship, OP? Does he always hate it when you're potentially getting more attention than him?

I find birthdays, Christmas, fathers day etc hard in respect of gift buying.
I personally don't like fuss, don't want stuff snd gifts and if I need stuff I just buy it. I hate parties and tat too do I find buying for those who do like it very hard and very stressful as I just don't get the fuss.
I show consideration in other ways all year round so thus just makes it seem harder to.

I feel for your husband as it is hard to get right if you just aren't into the fuss if birthdays etc it's a lot of pressure to get it right for those who do want it.

I was never one for presents and really have everything I need so we never give each other gifts for b'days, but we have some big celebration coming up and I started secretly wishing he gets me something nice, although, deep down I know he will not. Don't want to drop hints, but will be very disappointed on the day :(

Happy birthday, @Notfeelinggreattoday! You still have most of the day left so try to enjoy it and perhaps discuss everything at another time?

@ClattyPat thats what I am going to do thank you, just had relaxing bath and now starting day again
2 out of 3 gifts were lovely , the third luckily too small so when i exchaNge midweek will just say none left but shop i love do i will find something else, so proves he is more than capable
We don’t do xmas presents so its just birthdays
Thanks all for birthday wishes

What does he do for his own birthday? If he expects you to treat him like a prince on his birthday but makes little effort for yours, then YANBU. If he just doesn't treat birthdays as a big deal, YABU in my opinion.

I could have written this OP and actually I did a month or so back. It was as my fortieth and I got...... Fuck all. Literally I had a card that I had instructed my children to write the night beforeand nothing else. No special cooked meal, no thoughtful breakfast in bed. Nothing. All day I half hoped something would arise and I finally asked at about seven.
Lots of people on the thread said stuff like "I didn't get anything either" or "maybe present buying isn't his thing".
Well, FUCK THAT SHIT. It's the absolute thoughtlessness on a day when thoughtFULness is in order. I don't care about expensive items. But a poem, a decorated mug, a cooked meal with a bunch of flowers is honestly the fucking MINIMUM.
It has affected how I see our relationship in the future. I haven't checked out of it, but I am simply much more focused on what I want now instead of breaking my back making everyone else's life a bowl of cherries. I'm not big enough to just get over it and don't see why I should. I was and continue to feel hurt, used and unappreciated.
I feel your pain OP, I wish I had kicked up a bigger fuss on the day itself and really gone to town with how shit I thought it was, but I couldn't because we had simultaneously received bad news from our employer (same huge company but we work in different departments) so I was reeling from that too.
Get it out of your system to them now and don't harbor resentment like I have.