PFB stories

[NotMyTimes]

I had a lovely (wine-y) chat with my mum today and we somehow got onto the subject of when I was a baby. I am my parents first and only child and apparently they went a little crazy PFB with me, especially my mum. We had a great time laughing at all the things she did.

Some were:

She used to insist that either her or my dad sit in the back with me on car journeys no matter how long or short so that I wouldn't get lonely. Even when I was a newborn and would sleep through them all she still didn't want me being lonely back there whilst her and my dad has each other's company in the front.

Marking all the steps to show which were and weren't creaky, then whenever I was asleep no one was allowed to step on any of the creaky stairs when going up or down. This sometimes involved jumping 2 or 3 stairs!

Similarly we lived in an old house with very loud plumbing. Thus my mum was incredibly anxious about the toilet flush waking me up. No one was therefore allowed to flush the toilet once I was asleep for a pee, luckily she drew the line and poo's were flushed but even then she fretted about it waking me.

Both of these despite the fact that I've always slept like the dead and we lived on a dual carriageway just down from a fire station so if anything was going to wake me up it would've been the traffic and sirens.

So wise MNetters, do you have any PFB stories which you can look back on now and laugh about how you were a little crazy and neurotic at the time?

I don't flush the toilet after 7pm in case it wakes DD but our plumbing is really loud!

When DD was just born I would check that she was breathing multiple times a night. She's almost 2 now and I still check on my way to bed and when I get up.

For the first month of her life I only washed her face with water and cotton wool because a midwife had told me this was the best thing to do.

Obsessed for months about what pillow to get her for her cot, reading reviews before deciding I was being silly. I haven't braved buying her a quilt yet haha

I've spent hours researching weaning recipes and trying to make sure she has a balanced diet. The trouble is, I can puree chicken and salmon into croquettes or bake sugar-free, gluten-free muffins 'til the cows come home, it doesn't mean she's going to eat them!

A friend did this but she would set a timer to keep track of how long her DS had been in his car seat. I think guidance recommended that newborns shouldn't be in car seats for longer than 2 hours(?) so if we met for lunch she would time how long he was in there and take him out at the appropriate time.

We’ve been known to go on walks with one pushing the pram and one rotating their body around it as the angles necessitate as a human sun shield 😬

We don't flush a wee during the night
I'm not sure it's precious behaviour, more a sleep deprived blur of "it's taken me hours to get this baby to sleep and if she wakes up again I will lose my mind."

@LividLaughLovely me and my partner are also incredibly guilty of this

I thought a lot of these pfb parents were being ridiculous until I had my own non sleeping baby. We didn't flush the tiolet at night for years, I knew every stair that creaked. I didn't even wash up at night because the plates clinking together used to wake her up. I started off thinking I would be laid back. Sleep deprivation does funny things to you.

I'm relieved my youngest is now a pre schooler for the baby days to be over!

Wouldnt clean the bathrrom for months (it wasnt left dirty, i made DP do it) because i was conviced that the baby would cry and i would have to see to him with bathroom chemicals on my hands

I would wash his bottles with normal washing up liquid, then wash them In clean water and then serilise twice because I was convinced that there would be soap stuck on them and it would make him ill

If I'd bought him some pyjamas and he happened to have a bad night sleeping whilst wearing them, I wouldn't put them on him again for fear that they were a jinx and would make him have a bad night again.

Absolutly hated him in layered outfits and jeans. I think many people feel like that though. I just preferred soft baby grows or rompers as he looked more comfortable.

If he had a fever, I would take his temperature about three times every hour. Totally pointless and just ended up making him more distressed as he needed to sleep and I was constantly disturbing him.

There's so much more but I can't be bothered to write them all. Looking back though, I think my issues may have been due to undiagnosed PND 🤷‍♀️

I'm conscious some of these behaviours will come from anxiety or sleep deprivation - but mostly the stories on this thread seem to come from a place of abundant, overflowing love. They're lovely to read

I used to hold a pocket mirror to DD’s nose when she was sleeping to check she was breathing..despite the fact she also had a breathing sensor clip on her nappy with an alarm.

Also if I changed my brand of baby wipes or heard they’d changed the formula I used to test them by wiping my eyes to see if they stung before using them on DD’s bum

Also when my mum looked after DD overnight at 5 months old I wrote detailed instructions that covered 3 A4 pages front and back! My mum admitted afterwards that she never even looked at them

She’s not even my first DC but I had a big gap between her and DC1 so she was like a PFB again

I always sit in the back of the car with DS (nearly 11 months). I thought that was normal behaviour!

I've said this before but my most PFB moment was when I wanted to take DS to the GP because the eyelashes on his left eye were shorter than those on his right eye. Luckily my DH convinced me it was fine and DS' eyes are now perfectly symmetrical...

I’ve been known to test Johnson’s ‘no tears baby shampoo’ by squirting it neat in my own eye to check if it stung

"She used to insist that either her or my dad sit in the back with me on car journeys no matter how long or short so that I wouldn't get lonely."

Apologies, can't recall who said it. MIL still does this with our kids. I think it's so sweet! She seems to really like to be with them in the back seat, for company

I also used to obsessively use the contact less thermometer. For her food I'd blow, zap, stir, blow, zap to get it to 36 degrees until she was 3 ish, I'd check her temp while she slept if she seemed like she was coming down with something and I'd test my own temperature to make sure it was accurate.

I'd also test the room in all different directions to make sure it was the same I was glad when I dropped it and it broke and had a break from it then we both got a nasty cold and I couldn't get to the shops and had to wait a couple of days for the new one to arrive.

My folks were the absolute opposite! There were no car seats, let alone seat belts, me and my cousins were taken to parties and left to play and fall asleep on the coats in the spare room. There was quite an attitude of children having to fit in around grown ups instead of the other way round. Probably why I find these PFB stories so alien and fascinating!

The Gro Egg! OMG I lived by that bloody thing. I even once woke the baby up and took his vest off as the THE F***G EGG (as it is known in our house) turned orange and I didn’t want him to get too hot.

Binned it before baby 2 arrived :)

@CycleWoman Our gro egg is known as the dictator!

I always thought that the testing potential allergy foods outside an A&E was a really good idea, to be honest.
Mine was grapes. I'd been relatively relaxed about having a newborn and she was a very easy baby but when I saw friends cutting up grapes for their primary school age children- something that would never have occurred to me- it struck me that I had been put in charge looking after a human who, for the next few years of their lives, could DIE EATING A GRAPE. I knew I would never remember to do it so just stopped buying grapes. She will be 6 in August.

I'm very relaxed about other things, possibly a bit too relaxed. I think that grapes may have just become symbolic.

I always sit in the back of the car with DS (nearly 11 months). I thought that was normal behaviour!

My mum sits in the back of the car with DS. He's 15 in November.

I once watched an episode of Topsy and Tim on my own at midnight because I thought it might be inappropriate for my 3 year old to watch . It was the one where the Gran's dog died - I could tell this was coming in the previous episode when the dog got ill and I was appalled that Cbeebies could be so irresponsible as to show something so distressing for a small child. I skipped this episode whenever dd would watch Topsy and Tim. She finally saw it when she was 5 .

Visitors had to stand quietly in my hallway if pfb was feeding in case they disturbed him.
If a grandparent asked for pfb for a couple of hours I would tape instructions to the baby bag and spend my time listening for sirens worrying something had gone wrong. If I heard a siren I would call the grandparent just to check all was ok.
Pfb loved the sound of a hairdryer so I would stand in the corner of the room with my hairdryer on full blast for about an hour every morning and afternoon whilst DS chilled in his cot and slept ( if I switched it off he would grumble)
Pfb had a set of clothes put out for the next day with replacement pieces that matched in case any got dirty and I insisted all bibs must match his outfits.
Hand gel in a prominent place in living room in case anyone wanted to touch him. ( His was ten years ago - not today).
When dp was on nightshift and I was alone with DS I would stay awake all night and try and get an hour's sleep at 6 when partner returned as I was so worried about not hearing DD wake.

Ds

I always sieved rice pudding to get the lumps out. When I didn’t have a clean sieve to hand I put the rice pudding in a nutribullit to blend it.

Child was 1