Toilet anxiety destroying my life

[MHisNOTaTREND]

(Sorry for posting here. I just need ONE person to relate)
For half of my life I have had an intense fear of being away from use of a toilet.
Car journeys always meant stopping every half an hour to empty an empty bladder.
Right now being 2 minutes away from the use of a toilet sends me into panic. If I am in a building with 1 toilet and it is occupied for even 2 minutes, it causes enough panic, its kept me from leaving the house (before pandemic). My body panics and makes me FEEL like I need to go in an instant. (No Bladder problems) When I was 13/14 I was in school in a 'strict' class, and felt ill suddenly. Hot, and feeling the urge to pee and felt sick. Usually kids wouldnt dare ask this teacher for a toilet pass (because of her nature) so fear grew. So I just left, without asking her... Turns out I had a bladder infection. Since then that panic never left.

I have been told more recently it is OCD. Can anybody relate to this?

I am surprise that pads which is such an easy solution is a problem for people.

I do not need myself but my mother did when she was alive and she said much better to have a wet pad that only she know about than have a public accident that every body sees or not go out. She used big adult pads like a nappy and did not get embarrassed.

That is why I have no problem with my daughter wear them when when we go out because the lavatories are all closed (shops and public ones). If she can make it home
that is good but if she can not and she wets herself she stays happy because no body knows (she just tells me she does not need to go anymore and I know what that means).

Why give yourself such mental and physical pain when there is a cheap solution available that you do t have to use (try to make it home or to a lavatory, of course) but it is not end of the world if you do not.

Yes I agree MsPeeWee, anything that can help you go about your normal life is worth it

Antidepressant combined with bladder training. GP for both. Sorry to be brief.

Thank you for all the kind replys. I have read and taken on board advice like the shewee. Something i remember seeing on dragons den years ago! Would be worth carrying one even for the sake of knowing I have it.
@Voronacirus @MsPeeWee I am not against the idea of wearing a pad, Im scared that because my mind is so set in its way (Im late 20s) that it may become a norm for me. And its not that using a pad for "real physical reasons" is anything at all to be ashamed of, but because of a a bizarre thought in my mind i feel a bit embarrassed.
Also I didnt mean to make it be a voting aibu. But apparently some people think I am Lol.

Also anybody who can relate to this and has shared theirr struggles with it thank you, I'm sorry you deal with it too. I have read all the comments, I had a moment earlier being worried to respond, because been a follower of aibu for a while, seen people can be mean!

There are very comfortable pants (like adult size kids pull ups) available, very absorbent and safe in an emergency. I used them after DS born as a just in case measure. Sometimes on top of ordinary pants.

Regarding a therapist being not keen. I needed a wheelchair to get about for several years, thankfully no longer. It enabled me to live as active a life as possible at the time. I didn’t know, and neither did anyone else, that I would eventually make a full recovery. It was better for me to use aids and equipment to minimise the effect of my disability and I was and relieved to find I was not emotionally attached to them when no longer needed.

I suggest you could accept you have a disabling mental health condition at present, take all possible steps to minimise it’s inconvenient effects, as you would a badly broken leg, and hope for a full recovery. If you are able to focus more on what you want to do and less on what you fear happening you will be on an upward spiral.

Best of luck.

I can be like this if I’m going on a car journey - I blame it on my dad for getting annoyed when I was little and refusing to stop (tbf now I have children I can understand why being asked to stop 10 mins into a long journey was likely annoying lol). I also get anxious during things like visits to cinema and meetings, training etc. I pick aisle seats when in places like cinema, theatre, train or plane etc for this reason and get anxious if I get ‘trapped’ in a long row of people.

My friend has actually helped me deal with this by picking seats in cinema that are next to the empty house seats to help me get used to sitting away from the aisle but where I can still get out. I’ve actually lost a lot of worry now about cinema and theatre trips.

Haven’t really got any advice as it’s still something I can struggle with but just to let you know others do understand :).

I’m sorry you are going through this @MHisNOTaTREND. I’m a clinical psychologist and I would strongly recommend a thorough assessment by someone trained in a number of therapies who can work out a treatment plan most appropriate to your needs. EMDR may be a possibility but also ‘cognitive restructuring’ may be just as effective. Counselling won’t really be helpful for the kind of difficulty you are experiencing and I’m sorry you’ve been passed around.

I can get a bit like this to an extent
I choose an aisle seat
I always go to the loo cos it's there, just in case

It is nothing to be embarrass about as there are product for all ages and even if they do not get wet they are not waste of money because they are for just in case: anyone with anxiety should wear them if it helps.

I had this really badly in my teens and early twenties, I was so worried about wetting myself. The biggest worries were things like car journeys, public transport, staying overnight, cinemas/ theatres etc. I used to wear pull-ups in these situations and knowing that, if I had an accident nobody would know, really helped me and the fact I could keep them dry showed me that the anxiety was all in my head. Gradually I was able to reduce the number of situations in which I needed the security of a pull-up and learnt to trust my body and now I am able to manage the anxiety without them.