Advice wanted

[HJP12345]

Hi All,
I’ve come on here to get advice from parents.
It’s a similar thread - neighbours kids noisey, but a slightly different vein.
My neighbours kids are out all day playing in the garden when the weather is nice, which is ABSOLUTELY what they SHOULD be doing.
It’s nice that they’re out. My problem is that they scream and shout a lot - almost constantly. I know parents tend to be able to tune some of this out, but we can’t and find we can’t enjoy being in our garden. This goes on some nights till gone 9pm.
I really am not saying the kids should be indoors, or even saying when they should be in, that’s a parents decision, but I’d like advice on how to approach the parents to see if there’s a way we could encourage them not to scream and shout quite so much (It’s not just the general noise and squealing With excitement you normally get). I don’t expect them to play in silence and it’s nice to hear kids out ... (I have nieces and nephews and our friends have kids, and I love them and am always the person kids like to visit because I sit and play with them and do crafts and Lego and watch them on the trampoline etc, so I’m not in any way anti-kids) but I’d like to be able to sit in my garden too and enjoy a cuppa when I’m not at work.
So, I’d thought of going round with a bottle of something nice (not just a cheap £5 one) and a bunch of flowers and say “is there anything we can do?”
They’re relatively new (around a year / eighteen months) and I don’t know them (I’ve been recovering from a traumatic brain injury) so haven’t interacted with them other than a wave over the fence a couple of times.
I don’t want to be unreasonable, but the situation is making me very unhappy. So, is there a nice way to go and talk to them? Or what would you advise?
Thanks in advance ...

I sympathise- whilst it’s nice to hear children enjoying themselves outside I can understand how irritating it must be when you want to relax in your garden.
I think going to see them with a small gift and explaining how awkward you feel and wondering if there is s compromise. Would you feel comfortable mentioning that you are recovering from a brain injury and need to rest for some time during the day? I don’t think that is an unreasonable request.

Unfortunately you can’t ask parents to keep their children quiet during the day. It is annoying, I know, I have 4 loud little charmers next door. I would never even consider asking them to pipe down during the daytime. I have the radio on low.

Thank you ... yes, I’m very open about the injury. And I don’t want to offend them or even limit the children’s play time ... it’s just the high pitch screaming and shouting.
I was wondering if perhaps looking at a “quieter” (and not quiet) time could be looked at after their tea time - so perhaps after 7pm?

I wasn’t thinking of during the daytime, perhaps in the evenings after their dinner? And not silence, just a bit less screaming and shouting.

I worry this'll sound snippy, but I don't mean it to at all, but have you tried earplugs or headphones?

I had an irritating neighbour for a while, and got earplugs and it just dulled it all down.

I am pretty conflict-avoidant though...

Can only say I sympathise and what I have tried to do previously is a combination of trying to figure out and then work around their patterns (until I moved). Also, never feel guilty for making noise yourself. Also wait for them to inevitably start saying hi to you and then you can explain how you like it quiet as you have sensitive ears (with a sad face)

(to the kids!! My neighbours' were really intrusive so it was easy to go direct)

I think that’s a good idea if I was alone, and I think I’ll try it when I am. But it’s just the odd hour in the afternoons or evenings when we have a cuppa and talk about the day etc ... which is why I thought perhaps look at the evening time and see if that could be a bit calmer. I’m just worried about it being seen as an attack on them or the kids and I really don’t want it to come across that way or for them to feel bad. I don’t want to put their backs up and make anything worse or make them feel like they can’t enjoy their garden - like they’re under scrutiny .. that would be horrid.
It’s how best to approach them and see if we can figure it out.
In the summer last year they regularly had noisey weekend barbecues, but that’s just life with close neighbours. It really is just the screaming and shouting I’d like to see if we can curb a little.
Thank you for the advice!!!!

I don’t want to upset them - so if I see them over the fence (it’s a big one with bushes both sides) I’ll wave and see if I can get a dialogue going first.
Thank you!

I understand you op. I have 4 kids. They don't play out all day but they do use the garden and I am constantly sshh ing them. I worry about the neighbours and then I worry I am too much for telling the kids to be quiet. Kids get so excited and squeely. I get you. I struggle with listening to it. But I equally feel bad keep interrupting their play. They tend to give up and go inside because I tell them to be quiet too much...that's not nice for them or me. However we are surrounded by dogs. We are the only house who doesn't have a dog in a group of 5 houses. None shuts their dogs up. So I'm starting to relax a little as the dogs get on my nerves. So I guess we are equal....?

I really don’t want any parent to think their kids can’t be free and play ... which is why I absolutely wouldn’t dream of asking them to keep them quiet all day - it would be more than unreasonable. It’s great the kids are outside playing and not watching tv all day or playing on a computer. And when they’re just at the normal level of kids play, it’s great to hear.
But would you be offended if I came to talk, brought a decent bottle of wine as a gift (I know parenting is exhausting and stressful so it might be a nice thing for the parents) and talk about perhaps a quieter time after tea time. And I really don’t mean quiet - it’s great that they can and do play and run around and play football. (Well the noise of the ball is annoying, but I’m not the kind of arse that would expect them not to play with a ball) It’d just be seeing if we could just have an attempt to stop the shouting and screaming in the evenings.

And I can’t imagine what it’s like having all those dogs around barking. I think that pretty much is quid pro quo ...

Our neighbours a few houses down have installed a skateboard ramp in their garden which the children use during the day and evening.
At first I wasn't sure what it was, I thought it must be a new home business as it sounds like heavy barrels being dragged around continuously.
While I do understand that kids should be outside enjoying their gardens and the fresh air I really wish they could do it without all this noise all the time. We never hear the actual children, just thumping and the dragging noises.
I don't want to wear headphones or earplugs in my garden all the time! I do feel slightly annoyed as I don't think the neighbours considered how annoying the noise is, and certainly haven't apologised or mentioned it. I don't know what to suggest but I do feel your pain and am going to watching this thread with interest.

I wouldn't be offended at all. But I don't know what else I could do to keep them quiet other than brining them in. When they get excited kids are loud. Unless you negotiate a time of the day when you would like quiet and they can stay in at that time? Depends on your neighbours though....