Was this rude? How to react...

[Biensur40]

Really minor moment today but just wondering how others would have reacted so please scroll on if it's too petty for you.

Was walking along a pavement to pick up DC from school (YR) and a girl who must have been in Y6 was walking to her parked car with her mum. The mum said, 'wait' to tell her not to open the door until I had gone past. I was on the far side of the pavement more than 2m away as I try to stick to this so she could have easily opened the door and got in. I hadn't even clocked that the 11 yo was waiting for me as was just thinking about something so walked past. The girl waited until I had gone on about 20m and then said 'thank you' passively aggressively. Starting young!

I Turned around, shrugged a bit and pulled a bit of a face, I suppose but carried on walking. As they drove past, girl was making faces out of window. Was so cross. But it's a child so never mind. Now thinking, I wish I had gone back and said something. Petty and trivial, I know but an 11 year old to agrownup. What would you have done? Who was in the wrong? How should one handle passive aggressive comments from strangers?

You were rude OP. You clocked enough of what was going on beforehand but we’re in a world of your own when you passed by!

You were the rude one OP. The child being a child was thinking out loud. You as an adult should have acknowledged her but the only interaction you had with her was to pull a face, not even to smile. She has the excuse of being a child, what’s your excuse after you clocked what was going on?

Children should be seen and not heard, aye? You were the rude one.

@Laaalaaaa I probably do think that, yes!

General consensus is that I was rude so I will accept that.

Not that I am rude but that my behaviour on this occasion was rude.

Thank you for helping me think through it (and I really mean that).

I had this the other day, in a shop, except I realised I was the rude one.
In a rush, I didn't really notice that someone had gone out of their way to allow me to walk past. It was only as I turned the corner, and heard them say to the person that they were with that people didn't say thank you anymore.
I doubled back, and apologised for not thanking them. I was in the wrong.

Yes, i would probably double back if I could do it again. I should have been the adult.

You were the rude one OP.

@Crinkle77

You were the rude one OP.

God, read OP's posts, people.

She's said more than once that she agrees she could have handled this better.

No need to keep on...

In answer to your AIBU, you were rude and her reaction was appropriate

@Biensur40 don't worry too much about it. Not a lot can be done now.

@Thorilicious thank you. I'm not anymore. Out of the hundreds of interactions I have had today and probably thousands in the last few weeks (public-facing key worker role) and no, I am not rude when doing my job, I had one where I was rude today, that's not a bad %. 😄

You were rude and setting a bad example to the girl who had politely stood aside

There weren’t opposite responses at the beginning of your thread 😂 they were in agreement that you were the rude one, but the child should have said ‘you’re welcome’ passive aggressively rather than ‘thank you’.

I think basically you started it but you were both in the wrong, You clearly saw her and heard the “wait” otherwise you’d not be able to describe it, so you knew she was waiting for you, but took your time and then made a face at her when she gave you th pa thank you.

Two wrongs don’t make a right and I’m not of the opinion kids can’t be rude to adults because they are kids. As far as I’m concerned you made a face, she made a face, you’re both in the wrong, except she’s a kid and you should know better.

@Biensur40

Thanks for all the comments. I only really realised what had happened after I went past, if that makes sense as I have a lot on my mind at the moment (as a lot of us do). Normally, I give people space and acknowledge when they do too so accept it was partly my fault but I wish I had gone back and spoken to them now. Just to say I am really sorry I didn't notice you were waiting or acknowledge it but there was no need to be PA.

Anyway, you live and learn. I do find human interaction interesting though.

Meh.....

She waited for you to pass before opening the door. You were in a world of your own, probably bumbling along slowly, didn't acknowledge her for waiting.

Bit of face pulling and her showing she thought you were rude. An 11 year old would deal with it by face pulling/ non verbal equivalent of sticking their tongue out to the impolite lady. That's what they do. Good job you didn't respond.

Not sure what's your issue here, it went down as it should.

Doesn't matter that you think 2m was available and she waited til 20m (really? But you were walking towards her ..: bet she didn't quite wait that long til opening door). She waited you walked by you ignored her in your own world. I'd forget about it and try to pay more attention to your surroundings during coronavirus period if I were you on your next walks.

Yes, agreed. Not my finest moment but equally I didn't kick a puppy, just walked past someone without saying thank you.

I actually saw the mum and daughter again on the way to drop off this morning. I stopped to talk to her briefly and said I was sorry if her daughter had been offended and explained. She was really lovely and a bit surprised but said not to worry and she was embarrassed by her daughter's reaction, that she had talked to her. I possibly wouldn't have done that without this thread so thank you.
Muting the thread now.