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No support for parents of kids with sen

5 replies

Worriedmum4 · 02/07/2020 17:08

Afternoon, hope you are all well. Can anyone give me advice on how to access support of children with SEN?

My son is 9. He does not have a diagnosis but we have been through cahms, and mental health charities etc. He hasn't been diagnosed as he is a mixture between autism, adhd and aspergers, but doesn't fit completely in to any of the boxes. His school work well with him and he is on the sen register.

He suffers from waves of extreme anxiety. His current one's are health anxiety and fear of choking. (see my previous thread). He gets very upset and panicky about things and needs a lot of reassurance.

Anyway, I've got the ball rolling for him to see someone again to help him, but there is noone to help me. I feel like I am drowning. I worry myself sick over him, what his future is going to be like. I'm an anxious person myself and I don't want to project my anxiety on to him. I also get quite annoyed with him sometimes (inside my head) because I'm so frustrated that I can't make him see that the health fears are psychological.
I feel like I'm doing the wrong thing all the time and I need someone to help me. I don't know what strategies I should be using. I don't know weather I should ignore talk to him, be understanding or tell him it's silly. Noone helps you at all.
When we went to see someone before, the counsellor had the referral, didn't speak to me about it at all, I want allowed to go in, and I wasnt given any feedback. It didn't work for my son and I don't know what they did in those sessions. I need to be able to tell them the problems we have and I want someone to advise me, not just tell him what to do privately and then he doesn't do it

OP posts:
Worriedmum4 · 02/07/2020 17:41

Sorry I should also add, it is causing me problems in my marriage. I make a lot of allowances for my son but my husband is much more strict. He doesn't like the fact that our son is "different". He can't relate to him at all. He takes the attitude that he should just "man up".
As our son is getting older he is getting worse.

OP posts:
ToelessPobble · 02/07/2020 17:44

All the support we have had, whether access for an assessment for diagnosis by a psychologist, ehcp, speech and language has been through the school. Sorry, that isn't much help.

cantdothisnow1 · 02/07/2020 17:49

Sadly there is not much formal parental support. There may be support groups (tend to be parent led) in your area. In our area there are facebook groups. If you are really struggling speak to your GP who may know if there are any local charities or organise some counselling for you if that would help.

Flowers
NiknicK · 02/07/2020 17:49

Hi. I’m sorry that I can’t really really offer any advice as I’m going through similar with my 9 year old ds. He has Autism and there has been no support what so ever. He is at a SN school but he still isn’t coping and he won’t return there until September anyway. We see a paediatrician twice a year but that’s about it. I have anxiety and have just posted on here about how my ds triggers this at times and it really is awful. My dh is very supportive so I’m lucky there but he works all week and since March I’ve worked from home whilst trying to care for my ds and also my eldest ds who’s a teenager. I’m absolutely exhausted. I have no support from family or any so called professionals and it’s hard. Like I said I can’t really offer advice but if you need to chat I’m here x

Greydrapex · 02/07/2020 17:52

My son is 21. He’s severely autistic. I’ve never had any support at all. At times the stress has been insane.

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