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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mil has registered me for a dentist without my knowledge or approval

46 replies

WiggyClawsThe2nd · 02/07/2020 16:15

My husband has just announced that his mother has registered me with a dentist. Bit weird as why would she do that without mentioning it to me first. Turns out that this dentist is where she lives, 60+ miles away. Husband upset I'm not grateful, but as I already have a local NHS dentist why on earth would I want to travel that far for a checkup..... and the prospect of travelling that far whilst on painkillers etc if treatment is needed..... that fills me with horror! And now I'm worried I might have gotten kicked off our local dentists list, not sure what the rules are on being registered in more than one place. AIBU to tell her I won't be going to her local dentist any time soon?!

OP posts:
BarbsBaps · 02/07/2020 16:33

that's odd behaviour. why did she do it?

Aquamarine1029 · 02/07/2020 16:39

How utterly bizarre. Does she think you're 10 years old and her child? I would be having very stern words with her. Does she have form for this type of madness?

NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite · 02/07/2020 16:45

"My husband has just announced that his mother has registered me with a dentist. Bit weird as why would she do that without mentioning it to me first."
Without mentioning it to you first? Why would she do it at all? You're an adult and can select your own dentist. I would telephone the dentist and tell them it was done by someone else and that you do not wish to be registered with them and, furthermore, find it very strange that someone can even do this on your behalf.

Then I would tell her what I did and make sure she knows you will not allow her to interfere in your life. You need to set some very firm boundaries. Also your DH is a complete tosser for thinking you should be grateful for her interference. I sure hope that isn't a sign of things to come.

BarbaraofSeville · 02/07/2020 16:48

So many questions.

Why would anyone do this?

Why would your DH think this is a reasonable thing to do and hence be upset that you're not grateful?

Why would anyone go to a dentist 60 miles away when they have one that they're happy with close to home?

Why would you even question whether you are being unreasonable to not take her up on her kind offer?

Someone has mentioned a refer a friend scheme. Do you think she's got so carried away with the prospect of all the sign up bonuses that she hasn't thought through the practicalities of her madcap scheme?

Lets hope she doesn't sign you up with her gynacologist next.

Shoxfordian · 02/07/2020 17:20

Why has she done this? Is this part of a pattern?

EnterNight · 02/07/2020 17:21

Many years ago DD had some pain in a tooth. Our dentist said it didn't need filling.
I took her to the dentist in the next town, who agreed with me and filled it.
When we returned to dentist #1 6 months later he never even noticed the filling that he hadn't done. At that point, I decided it was probably best to find a new dentist. That was also the point I realised they didn't transfer notes etc and you could visit whoever you chose.

Do you visit down there for any length of time? Probably do no harm to stay on the books in case you're ever in need.

Waveysnail · 02/07/2020 17:31

Why?

Original poster
WiggyClawsThe2nd · 02/07/2020 17:59

Thank you for your comments everyone. Found myself crying with laughter......... And am praying she doesn't still have a gynaecologist!
I think she thinks she's being genuinely helpful, am just bemused that my husband thinks this is OK. I suppose when it's your family doing waccy things you get used to it by the time you're fully grown. Have dropped my dentist an email explaining but am still trying to pluck up the energy to call the mil and discover exactly which dentist she's registered me with. At least the DS seems to have escaped......

OP posts:
MsPants · 02/07/2020 18:04

Is she normally mental? If not, maybe she was thinking it might come in handy if you had an emergency while staying with her or something along those lines?

speakout · 02/07/2020 18:06

How can you register another adult at a dentist?
Surely health questionnaires have to be completed and the application signed?

Deelish75 · 02/07/2020 18:17

Do you have the details of your "new" dentist? I would ring them and find out exactly what she has done. When I last signed up with a new dentist I had to fill out a health questionnaire, so I don't see how she could have done this - unless she's done it behind your back.

Why on earth would she do this though? Has she been doing other strange things?

recycledbottle · 02/07/2020 18:20

Is this a wind up?

Shoxfordian · 02/07/2020 20:34

How does she think this is helpful? Do you have really manky teeth op?

Cherrysoup · 02/07/2020 20:42

Why is your dh moaning that you’re not grateful? Mine would just think his mum had lost the plot. So bizarre!

Tini17 · 02/07/2020 20:42

As others have said, dentists do not register. They do not have lists like GPs, unless you are in Scotland IIRC. The notes belong to them and do not get transferred either since there is no registration, unlike with GP notes, which follow a registration and belong to the Sec of State, weirdly. No need to worry.

But what weird behaviour. I would be torn too between ‘she was trying to be helpful’ and plainly odd.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 02/07/2020 21:07

Had you been complaining to her that you were unhappy with your dentist for some reason. She’s clearly bonkers but more understandable if you had.

Original poster
WiggyClawsThe2nd · 02/07/2020 21:17

OK, so I've interrogated DH now and things are a little clearer. Turns out that he allowed her to drag him to her dentist 3 years ago whilst he was visiting. She filled in the form for her address so he could register with the practice as an NHS patient in case he ever needed one. He thinks that she may have put my name down on the forms too. So she was just reminding him that we were on that dentist's books.
That said, I think given that we are both over 40 and ok parents to boot, she really needs to stop treating us like children now. The last time I mentioned I wanted a new tea towel we eventually ended up with 72 over the space of a few months. I had to be very firm about us NEVER NEEDING ANOTHER TEA TOWEL AGAIN!!!!

OP posts:
redwoodmazza · 03/07/2020 09:57

OOOH - I love tea towels OP!!!!!

Alsohuman · 03/07/2020 10:05

So basically it was a mistake. Everyone can put their mil stoning kit away now and save it for another thread.

BarbsBaps · 03/07/2020 10:09

but if MIL put your and DH's details on the dentists registration book 3 years ago "in case you need it" - does she not understand that it's that type of behaviour which means other people, i.e. locals, may have been turned away because she'd taken up 2 spots for you non-locals!!?

anyway, you'd not be able to get an appointment there surely, they'd have de-registered you when it became clear that you weren't attending check ups etc.

so her actions are a bit batshit and harmful and pointless really.

Original poster
WiggyClawsThe2nd · 03/07/2020 17:46

redwoodmazza

Would you like some?!!!!

OP posts:
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