To be disappointed it can't be just us.

[Roasties89]

My friends lovely. She's very close to her dad. He's a nice chap. He's been on the school runs with us a few times and easy to speak too. .

Not seen my mate since march. She's been seeing her dad most weeks several times so they are well caught up.

I asked if she would meet us Friday so our boys could catch up, we they have not seen eachother for ages either. I was ready for a good girly catch up. A walk to the park and a good gossip. It's all arranged. Then this morning she randomly says she was going down her dad's tomorrow morning so shall we meet him at a local cafe for some food. I agreed. I am ok with it deep down. But I feel abit disappointed as it limits the conversation and I have been feeling abit low lately. I just wanted to spend time with my friend and feel normal for an hour. My anxiety has been awful in lockdown so I wanted to gently ease myself back into things. Eating out wasn't my first choice. Especially as my son's abit of a pain at the moment and not listening to me. I think it's lockdown and him being so cut off for so long. I took him round my parents the other day in the garden. He just wouldnt stop messing about.

Im half hoping it rains so I can get out of it. Am I horrible? I just was so looking forward to chatting about stuff you talk to friends about.

Ah right, that's different then. Is she a good friend? Can you just explain to her that normally you would love to meet up with her dad and have food but just now you don't want anything too rigid and just fancied a leisurely stroll around the park letting the children play and to go home when you feel like.

I think you are building it up too much in your head, just tell your friend how you feel.

I have an idea what I can say. I just feel disappointed. I know exactly what you mean. I had a friend that used to turn up at mine with her sisters or friends. I'd be thinking if I knew you were bringing people with you I'd of tidied up more. She would then try and gossip with me and It's just awkward.

I don't have many friends anymore so I don't want to push her away. But it does seem odd that she didn't tell me yesterday that she was going to her dad's. It's not an excuse to avoid me either because she will be walking down to the cafe and back with me. Which is 20 minutes each way.

@chergar

We met when our boys were babies 5 years ago. They are 6 at the end of october. We have always just got along well and met up so the kids can play football or taken them swimming. But we are not in and out of eachothers houses. It's a meet up friendship. We've never had evenings together either. Just daytime friendships lol.

Thanks for your advise. I will sort it tomorrow. I'll ask to either rearrange or walk in the afternoon. X

This is so annoying! I had a friend like this who would bring her DH absolutely everywhere. They were totally opposite, her gregarious, fun, outgoing and he was a geek who liked to talk solely about board games. I stopped seeing her in the end because it totally changed the dynamic and I just didn’t want to sit through another awkward evening of conversation with her husband!

Dont overthink it

It’s perfectly ok to say,

‘Hahaha nice one, the is zero chance of getting(son) to behave for a meal out straight after lockdown.

See you after you have met yr dad for a nice walk in the park.‘

I must admit I don't see how it's enjoyable. We normally talk about kids, periods, housework, men and other people we know (not In a bad way) amongst what we've been doing. My son's just got one of those personalities too. He gets fed up quick and wants to run about. Yes bringing the husband along is also abit boring. My husband wanted to come along when my son wasn't listening to me last summer at one point. He was like if I came I could square him up and you can chat more. I gave him a smirky look and sort of said but women like to have a good natter. He understood completely and laughed and said he agreed it's nice to catch up with friends alone sometimes. He would be the third wheel tagging along. Theres different types of friendships. Some are couple or more people together.My friend who I said about bringing her sisters round. I went round hers once for a Chinese. Turned out her boyfriend fancied a night in with us. I thought you didn't mention that. He picked the film and we all chilled out. But I couldn't talk to her about much. It's just weird lol. It's different if they live there and are home. But he was just lurking.

I will call her tomorrow and rearrange x