AIBU to request my ex- MIL collects son during access

[Jengadreads]

Hey guys.

I broke up with my ex 2 years ago. It got VERY VERY messy due to him not taking the break up well.
To the point of a court hearing against my ex for breach of the peace at my home. A residency order of my son for him to live with me due to threat of my ex keeping our son and an order for my ex not to contact me for 12 months.

I have now received a letter from my ex’s lawyer requesting arrangements for ex to see our son. I have never stopped him so I’m pleased he is now wanting to be part of our sons live. I have requested any day(s) and MIL can come and collect him and drop him off. It’s only 5 miles away to her home so I don’t feel I should be part of the travelling arrangement. I know for a FACT my controlling ex will not agree to that and make me do all the driving to and from her home. I just don’t see why I should be a part of this. Our son is here to come and collect any time her wants.

What’s I’m your view girls

You definitely are not obligated to do all the driving. Continue to be reasonable and offer reasonable arrangements but I wouldnt be putting myself out on his account. You've offered to make your son avaliable for x times and it's up to him to take you up on that. If he doesn't like it then presumably he can take you to court where you will have evidence of your reasonableness and he will look like a controlling twat.

I don’t think your being unreasonable to not want to do the travelling but why just the MIL? It should be left in his hands how he wishes to collect your son.

Have you started two threads about this? This could get confusing!

I think it is unreasonable to expect 1 part to do all the travelling. It should be shared.

I agree with June2007. Here's a suggestion: When it's his time to see your Son, he (or his mom) should pick your DS up. When visiting time is up, you pick him up if they don't offer to drop him off.
Good luck. I can imagine how emotionally difficult it must be for you given the past circumstances.

I think its not only reasonable, but also sensible. Keep records of what you offer him, so if it does end up in court you can prove that you've been more than reasonable and that he's being knob

I have been through similar op. Contact collections can be used to abuse and he already has a history here.

We used to do handovers in a supermarket cafe but he still couldn't do it. By that I mean he would not let go of my gs on returning him. Poor child, it was just awful. Court moved it to school but again, he behaved badly because I had to pick my other gs up. Finally it was moved to a family member's house who was cool and professional about it. It removed the emotion.

Your ex mil will need to be committed as well though as it could put her in a difficult position. All parties need to be committed to it working. I agree with you, they collect with another party ie MIL or trusted family member from long and bitter experience.

Perhaps things can then move forward in the future.

Thanks girls.