If you are a smoker how would you react if I asked you to change your smoking place?

[RainingMeatballs]

Next door smokes quite a lot, he Is generally ok to talk to but occasionally a bit spiky. He’s started smoking right against the fence, the way the terraces work it for some reason makes my back room smell like he’s actually smoking in there. He used to smoke out the front or on a stool the other side of the patio but now it’s always on a chairs leaning against the fence. I’ve never smelt it before, but now it’s really strong. It’s not just me, guests have stopped talking when in another room and asked about the sudden cigarette smell.
How would you approach this? He obviously can do what he wishes on his own land, and whilst he’s been polite to me he’s known to tell other neighbours ‘it’s my house I’ll do what I want!’ (They complain about parties, the noise bothers me less as it’s not when I sleep).
Is their a tactful way to approach this without getting his back up?

I’m an ex smoker. You truly don’t understand how bad it smells till you stop. It was never even on my radar when I smoked.

I have recently complained to the owner of the HMO next to me about the excessive smoke wafting into our house and disturbing us in the night and they’ve been moved. Worked a treat. However not so easy to do when it’s just one person. All you can do is ask really nicely and just ask if he can move away.

I wouldn't mind when I smoked but my DP is a prickly bastard/knobhead. A mix of honesty and lies are required (but only because he isn't doing anything wrong).

"Hi Smokie, listen I know you can smoke where you want to and you aren't doing anything wrong but is there any chance you could smoke at the front again? I know, us ex smokers are the worst (this does not need to be true), but for some reason the smoke drifts right into my bedroom and I am literally about to start smoking again and I really don't want to" .

Don't get me wrong normal people youd just ask and they'd move but prickly ones are.just stubborn gits.

Yeah, I’m an ex smoker! I don’t mind them too much, but it really does make my house smell like a smokers house.

I like the idea about not complaining, but asking for help with keeping up quitting.

I'm a smoker and smoke in my back garden, well away from next door so they won't smell it, it wouldn't be fair on them. I'd be really fed up with myself if they had to say something to me because it caused them a problem.

Some may say it's the neighbours garden, so they can do what they want, but to me it doesn't work that way if you want to be a good neighbour.

I just know the type of thing was would work with my thoroughly unreasonable DP. Good luck!

I wouldn’t mind, and I think most people wouldn’t either. As long as you ask nicely :)

Just be really nice and apologetic, make it clear you know he doesn't have move, but appeal to his better nature. You could get him a 4 pack of beer as an opener?

Well, he obviously doesn't have to move, but if he's a decent person he should. Ask nicely/write a letter and see what happens.

Just for the record, if his smoke is entering your land then you do have a legal right to make him stop. It's absolutely not the way to resolve this because it would be an insane overreaction but all of this "he can do what he wants on his land" bullshit isn't true. It's no different to playing loud music or spraying your house with paint whilst standing on his land - his right to use his land how he wants stops when it negatively and unreasonably affects your land.
I like the combination of truth/lie that @TARSCOUT recommended.

I am an ex smoker and during lockdown and especially the hot weather, I can smell my downstairs neighbour smoking, I know he smoked as he did it before (we have balconies) but for some reason it is really getting to me now.

So would it be possible to say as an ex smoker you are finding it difficult not to come over and knock him out for his pack? Put it in a slightly different way, but that is certainly how I feel when my neighbour goes out

I don't smoke anymore but I wouldn't have minded being asked, so long as I was asked nicely. I like the idea of previous posters to blame it on your willpower!

So would it be possible to say as an ex smoker you are finding it difficult not to come over and knock him out for his pack? Put it in a slightly different way, but that is certainly how I feel when my neighbour goes out

I definitely think this 'spin' would inspire more sympathy if your neighbour is a difficult character.

If my neighbours told me this and asked I smoke somewhere else then I absolutely would!
I always check to see if they have their back doors or windows open before I light up and if they do, I go to the back of the garden.
If they are in their gardens then I go to the back as well.
I do not want to inflict my smoke on others but I have been told I am the most considerate smoker ever!
I would tell him your problem and see what he says.

YANBU. The smell of smoke is fucking rank

We had a chat over the fence last nice and I did use the ex smoker idea, he was fine and smiled and moved the chair. Thanks for the idea- it was worth posting

Brilliant :)