AIBU about my partner's sexist views?

[lockdown67]

I'm soooo annoyed!!

Me and my partner have just sold a wardrobe to a woman. He asked me, "is her husband coming to pick it up wit her?". After a few more questions, he stated that two women wouldn't be able to lift it.

He is now saying "why are you getting so upitty about something so trivial" when in actual fact it's just everyday sexism.

I'm not a raging feminist but I think his views are a joke. Thoughts?

I'm an ordinary women who never goes to the gym, but I have maneuvered a wardrobe up & down stairs with the help of my 12 yr old DD. If you take things slowly & 'walk' a piece of furniture along, there is a lot you can do without needing much physical strength.

On average men are stronger than women. Surely that’s not sexist? Just practical.

If you look at the graphs on here it’s quite clear that by a certain age (mid-30s ish) you’re more likely married than not... and she is significantly more likely to be married to a man than a woman. Add to that the fact the on average men are stronger than women... isn’t it just “likely” that she may want to bring her husband to help? It’s obvyfine if she doesn’t want/ need to it can’t/ wouldn’t/ whatever! Just say so.

www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/populationandmigration/populationestimates/bulletins/populationestimatesbymaritalstatusandlivingarrangements/2002to2016

Wouldn’t even cross my mind that this is sexist. If it’s a big wardrobe if need help too 😂

I'd need help. ButI'd be more likely to ask my daughter than my partner.

The assuming she had a husband is the weird bit for me!

Realla yes men are on average stronger than women.

But you seem to be assuming the age of the woman which is also weird.

So the woman is 50 and rocks up with her 70yo husband and her late 20s son and daughter. Who lifts the wardrobe?

Further it turns out that the son has an injury so is on crutches, and the mum is still a competition weightlifter. Who moves the wardrobe?

Etc etc

Yes of course it's casual sexism and the bit assuming a husband is really odd.

I dont think its outdated its just a fact that on average women have around half the upper body strength of men. People automatically think the fact that that men went out to work and women stayede at home was due to sexism when really it was just playing to their strengths in order to fulfil efficient lives.

We all make assumptions based on what is normal.

Yeah but loads of men are overweight/ smokers/ boozers/ no exercise

While lugging a toddler around is hard work...

And why apply averages and assumptions (married, to a man) to people you have never met? That's just weird.

Unless you're an Amish person or something.

It is a bit weird that he assumed that the buyer has a husband when you and he are not married, so you don't have a husband, but he still thinks that it is the norm for a woman to have a husband.

It’s fine for him to say - 2 people need to lift it but could 2 women really not?
Me and DW have so far moved/ carried all the furniture or whatever together without much hassle and on occasion when we’ve needed a mate to help with something it’s becuase the job was too big for 2 people and it being 2 blokes would have made no difference.

I used to live on the top floor of a 3 floor flat and get my shopping delivered. Because it wasn't the delivery driver's fault I lived in a stupid flat (with no lift), we used to carry the crates up ourselves.
One day the delivery guy turns up and I'd never seen him before in my life, and he says to me "Where's your fella? You cant take these up those stairs". I just smiled and said that I could and it was fine, but that comment really rubbed me the wrong way.

I think some men really think women can't lift heavy things. It's really silly.
I was raised by a single mum and we moved the furniture just like any other family.

To be honest if I was you OP I'd probably walk around all day pretending I couldn't open doors or lift a pen off a counter because "Oh, so heavy!". But I'm particularly sarcastic.

Well it partly depends on the wardrobe. Small, Cheapo flimsy one from Argos is one thing, and most people could lift it regardless of sex.

Large solid hardwood antique Narnia style is quite another - mine took three burly men to get it into my house.

The assumption she has a husband though - sexist.