AIBU to have embryo transfer now?

[GooniesForever]

I have had 2 previous transfers (one miscarriage, one failed) and was booked in for a third when Covid hit.
The clinic has phoned to say they are reopening for frozen embryo transfers and have offered to resume mine at the start of my next cycle.

I have a medical condition that means I have been shielding, waiting for my consultant to get back to me before making a decision but my heart says go for it, my head says wait...

I'm 37 in September so feel a time pressure (it's taken 8 years to get this far) and worry that waiting for a vaccine or for things to be normal may take a long time (especially if a second peak closes the clinic again or that once they resume fresh cycles too the waiting list will be massive) but equally don't particularly want to be pregnant in a second peak or put a baby at risk, although I would have to shield during a second peak, pregnant or not... I keep swinging between yes and no...

What does the consultant think? In your shoes I think I would go for it. Hope things work out.

If your consultant is happy to do it go for it. I’ve been through the process three times and had two girls from it.

Time is a factor. Thousands of very healthy babies are being born right now

I'm waiting to hear back from the consultant, I'm not sure if my consultant will discuss it with the fertility team and make a decision for me or if it's my choice yet...

I'm finding it hard to decide if I'm being selfish not waiting and possibly putting my (potential) baby at risk... also unsure about my underlying health condition and pregnancy causing covid to be more dangerous, but I'm not sure they will know that either as it's such an unknown...

On the other hand as the nurse said, I could get pregnant naturally tomorrow and then they would deal with it...

I feel that my age is making me more inclined to take risks now as I feel time is ticking and I would love two (but realise that's a big if and a dream)

I had one last week. The level of hygiene at the clinic was very good, Covid tests for all those in a cycle and face masks etc at all times. No partners allowed. Felt very safe to me.

I would . Time is if the essence . What if there is another peak and you have to wait even longer than you thought .

Go for it. I agree it's a massive risk. But if you're shielding anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Shamoo thank you, having talked to the clinic I am very happy with their new system and not worried about the actual transfer. It's more that if it works I might be pregnant during a second peak and as a "clinically extremely vulnerable" person it could be worse (or absolutely fine...!)

Candyapple49 that's my worry, after 7 years and two attempts I'm keen to 'get on with it' but just worried that it's selfish or a silly risk...

BabyLlamaZen that's what my heart says but at the moment I can shield completely (literally at the moment!) but if I get pregnant I will need reasonably moderate monitoring due to my underlying condition making me higher risk (but not massively high, in normal life)

EveleftEden Thank you, that’s good to hear 😊

Consultant phoned and said with Covid in the community as it is they would suggest waiting two months to see how things are...
It’s still my choice and they will support me if I go ahead... but they don’t recommend it.
I had made my mind up to go for it but don’t know what to do now, ahh if I wait too long the list will be massive as they will open up to non frozen cycles as well but I don’t want to do anything silly 😞

I would go for it. If they are happy to support you then they think it's reasonable.

@GooniesForever

Consultant phoned and said with Covid in the community as it is they would suggest waiting two months to see how things are... It’s still my choice and they will support me if I go ahead... but they don’t recommend it. I had made my mind up to go for it but don’t know what to do now, ahh if I wait too long the list will be massive as they will open up to non frozen cycles as well but I don’t want to do anything silly 😞

Goonies go for it. The clinic where you get seen will be totally sterile. Any one that comes near you will will have PPE if it’s needed.

I had a transfer during covid as I had one embryo and was scared it wouldn’t survive freezing. I had the same dilemma as you and didn’t know what to do but I decided to go ahead with the transfer as I didn’t know when I would get another chance and my gut just said to do it

My gut says go for it and I’m confident in the clinic and the transfer, it’s just being pregnant with underlying health conditions (“extremely clinically vulnerable“) If there is a second peak... would I be able to cope with the guilt if something happened? Is it selfish to do it now and not wait? I’m just worried about the waiting list and them closing due to a second peak putting everything on hold for a very long time...

Yes go for it,don’t worry about what might happen in a few months time,you could be worrying about what won’t happen.

Don’t worry about something that’s not happened yet

I say go for it and be super careful. Best of luck x

I would go for it. I'm currently 9wks pregnant. I'm 42 and it was now or never. Waiting would very probably have meant we would never have had another baby.

I'm 22weeks and beyond not being able to travel and see family, I've enjoyed being pregnant during the pandemic. Both DH got to work from home with no commute, we spent more time together and lots of it was "quiet" time. Plus it was easy to hide in the early days when I felt crap and I could stay in comfy clothes and nap as needed. It made my 1st trimester easier in many many ways.

I wouldn't wish this situation to happen again if I ever have another pregnancy but it's not all doom and gloom!

I had a failed FET last month. Doing another next month as I have one embryo left. I am high risk pregnancy wise but I'm also going to be 38 next month. I started a FET but lockdown stopped that part way through, I was devastated. I'm fed up of putting my life of hold due to fertility so personally I'm not waiting.

I can't advise you what to do but I am dreadful for dress rehearsing tragedy. I do it all the time and I'm really trying not to. It robs me of happiness. I wonder if you're doing the same here, if your medical team are supportive.

I can’t think how else to put this but they will be down the other end so to speak, not breathing over your face. Plus the staff will be masked/gowned etc. I’d go for it.

Practically how would you shield if clinically extremely vulnerable and go to appointments etc. If you get pregnant?

You would be putting yourself at unnecessary risk.

I think your consultant suggesting you wait is the best advise. Your place on the waiting list should be maintained.

What about waiting one month and seeing how things are then?

helia I do that too, which is making me think I should go for it...

CaramelEmporium Good point!

wellhellohi I agree with all of those points, but the government is ending shielding so I have to go back to work etc and will have my 'normal' hospital appointments too anyway...

altiara I would do that if it wasn't for the fact that they are currently only doing frozen transfers, once they start doing fresh cycles too, and frozen cycles that weren't mid cycle, there will be a massive back log and I know from experience that it can be a very long wait, and also pot luck as to which day of the week your cycle starts and how many places are left...

seven201 I'm fed up too, after 8 years since this process started and some very bad advice from a previous hospital I feel another long delay would be inevitable if I don't go for it now, but also worry that feeling that way is motivating me to take a risk I shouldn't.
(good luck next month, x)