To not want to the the sole cleaner of my house

[Lotty32]

Interesting conversation with my DD nearly 16. "Why do you need a cleaner when you are a housewife" (a word I dislike!) have a large 6 bedroom house and we can afford a cleaner. I keep the house clean and tidy but really like having the luxury of a cleaner coming in once a week (hasn't been since a lockdown.)
I am a very good cook, not such a good cleaner! But I do lots of things my DD doesn't see behind the scenes! Clean the kitchen every day, and the kitchen floors etc and do the in between cleans!
But the conversation had me thinking! I know it's a luxury - one we can afford - and I spend very little money elsewhere! I volunteer twice a week and would prefer to help others out rather than be the sole cleaner! Thoughts please?

Your money, your business. Doesn't really matter about anyone else's opinion does it? Own your choices. You don't need to justify them.

Get your dd to help. She will soon see it’s never ending.

Maybe your 16 yr old DD needs to start pitching in to the 'behind the scenes' work.

If I could afford a cleaner I would have one regardless of what my teenager said. DH thinks 'he does all the cleaning'. I think I do all the cleaning. DC (teens) think they don't make any mess. Meanwhile the house is a shit tip.

Why are you holding yourself accountable to your 16 year old? When she has her own home she can do what she wants.

I love my cleaner. We could manage without but it’s giving someone decent employment for a fair wage and I can spend my time and energy elsewhere.

Your dd is pretty judgemental about your role in life. That’s what I’d be worried about.

Get your DD to help out with the cleaning... she'll soon learn.

I'd be tempted to write down all the cleaning tasks that are done during the week as a cleaning schedule. Then get your DD to do it one week. When she realises just how long it takes she will hopefully have a very different opinion.

Also I'd be a little bit nervous that she doesn't understand how much cleaning and effort a house needs. I guess it's not the end of the world but it'll probably cause a headache for anyone she lives with in the future.

Absolutely have one if u can afford it, why not. Your dd will not understand until she has how own house to clean

You can afford it, get someone else to do it.

Cleaning is soul destroyingly boring. I can think of a million things I'd rather do. So I pay someone else to do it for me.

Can kind of see her point, you don't work so why do you need a cleaner? Could keep on top of it and get help from the rest of the family like your 16 year old. She won't realise how much it takes if you never show her as well.

But it is your money so you can get a cleaner if you want one. Just think it would be a good lesson to teach your children, how to stay organised and tidy their own mess rather than rely on someone else they may not be able to afford in the future.

If your daughter is that oblivious to what needs to be done around the house you need to fix that.

Nothing wrong with having a weekly cleaner, they are a godsend, but a 16 year old who does nothing and verbalises such opinions is being failed.

Start giving her jobs during the week.

Hand over the mini clean of the loos in the house. Ask her to hoover downstairs. Sort out the laundry.
All jobs that I ask mine to do.

Teenagers need to be poked to help IMO.

Start poking her!😁

Is there backstory with your daughter?

Your dd is 16. Has she ever cleaned the bathroom? If not, don’t be a numpty and ask her to clean the bathroom, you will need to walk her through it like my mum did when I was 11. I think you say you’ve realised you’ve done her no favours and everyone moving out of home has to be able to clean a house so this month she is cleaning the (Her?) bathroom every week. Perhaps she will realise that a cleaner is a justifiable spend if you can afford it!

Definitely have a cleaner if you can afford it and want it.

But your dd should definitely also be helping.

Thx for all your advice. My DD is entitled but to be fair to her she does her own laundry, cleans her own bedroom and cooks her own food as is vegan. Pretty good start! My DS on the other hand ....