Aibu to be frustrated with my child's choking worry?

[Worriedmum4]

Sorry if posted in wrong place, don't know where to post.
My son is 9. He is a VERY anxious child. Everybody that knows him would never guess. He comes across as super loud and confident. We have constant problems with him, ranging from biting all the skin off his fingers whilst at school, he has a digit cube to try and stop this, stomach aches and diarrhoea, panic attacks and feeling like he can't breathe. He worries me sick all of the time.
Since he has been off school he has developed a new issue. He says he feels like there is something stuck in his throat all the time. When he eats he says he feels like he can't swallow properly and the food is getting stuck in his throat. He then starts to cough and panic and needs to drink a drink with each mouthful of food he takes. Its been going on for weeks and getting worse to the point where he's hardly anything.
I know where it has come from. Years ago he did have a slight choking incident on an oven chip, it frightened him and he's never eaten chips again. He he did this back then for a while but eventually returned to normal for a couple of years but it's now started again. He is very skinny as it is and I'm very worried that it is going to develop I to some kind of eating disorder.

In normal circumstances I would be straight down to the doctors with him to get his throat checked to reassure him, and to check that there isn't actually a problem in there, and also id like him to have some CBT counselling to try and help him with it. He has had this before for his other issues.
But of course coronovirus means we can't access any of these services at the moment and don't know when we will be able to. I'm worried sick about him to be honest. I worry about him on a day to day basis but I also worry about his future. His anxiety rules his life now, I just don't know how he will be able to function as an independent adult.
Have any of you had experience of your child having this problem with their throat being linked to anxiety, and how did you manage it? Thanks in advance

Just came on to mention thyroid also, it’s a specific blood test needed. I suffer from an overactive thyroid and I wouldn’t rule it out, I suffer with some of the same symptoms. Hope all is ok. @Worriedmum4

Joined just to comment on this as I had something very similar myself at the age of 12 - I was scared of choking on food, always felt like there was something stuck in my throat, felt like I would randomly forget how to swallow, and would sometimes have to go to the bathroom during meals to spit out food. I also felt like I couldn't explain what was happening so would just say I wasn't hungry, when I wanted to eat properly, I was just too anxious to do so. I would also have episodes of feeling like I couldn't breathe, I knew I was breathing but I was convinced I somehow wasn't getting the oxygen. This started after I accidentally swallowed a mint (didn't choke, was just uncomfortable but couldn't stop thinking about if I had choked e.t.c.)

Something that helped me was being distracted from food so I wasn't focussing too much on my own body or the fact that I was eating - I could eat a full portion of breakfast most days, because this was serve yourself at whatever time you got up, and we were allowed to eat in front of the TV. I could eat certain foods at school as well, distracted by friends. Eating in front of family at dinnertime was the worst, as it felt like pressure, the focus was on eating which made it feel impossible.

If he doesn't already, possibly try letting him eat while watching TV e.t.c or anything else that might distract him. I also found listening to music, radio or being involved in a lively conversation (but not about food!) helpful, it was the mental distraction, and being able to listen to something to drown out the sounds of my own chewing/swallowing.

If DS has siblings, the worst thing you can do is enforce 'no-one leaves the table until everyone is done' - this was the case for me at dinner, and as I was obsessively chewing my food worrying about choking, I would take at least twice as long as everyone else and the embarrassment made the anxiety worse, especially when my siblings would get impatient wanting to leave the table. In general, try to make it so no pressure is attached to eating.

Hopefully this gets better on its own (it did for me after about 3 months) but you're right to be seeking help - I know how horrible this is for him and you, good luck to you both!

It may also be partially structural. It took years to get dd’s choking properly diagnosed. She had so many tests and exams. We finally got lucky when she was having a stress test and had an episode that was heard echoing down the hall by a doctor with expertise on her particular condition. Yes, anxiety plays a role, but there is an underlying structural issue that triggers and she can’t prevent that with cbt. Instead we have worked with a group of specialists to teach her breathing techniques to stop her throat from reacting when it starts to seize.

We've been there. Camhs had refused to help us despite various anxiety behaviours over the years, and my child's weight dropped very low and eventually I took them to A and E when they'd stopped eating for 3 days and drinking for a day and we were admitted as weight was so low.
That got us through the door of camhs and actually helped - CBT seems to have sorted it and also having to withhold constant reassurance from us as that just makes the cycle worse in the long run. There have been occasional wobbles, especially during Coronavirus, but knowing they coped and got well previously helps them keep it in perspective.
Good luck and keep pushing for help as CBT really does seem to help kids with anxiety.

And as a previous poster said take all pressure away from eating. Food in front of the TV so the TV not the food can be the main focus - and whenever he wants to snack. And high calorie where possible to keep weight up.

Has he been checked for eosinophilic esophagitis?

The only reason I ask is you can feel food sticking and getting stuck, which you then get more anxious over and then makes it worse. It’s just something to keep in mind as it’s quite rare.

We had this with my son when he was about age 8. He had nearly choked on some beef. He had problems for months eating after and it was definitely anxiety.

Actually all sitting down for a meal at the table was hard for him no matter what the food we obviously tried all the softer foods. Meal times were awful for months and we really tried to put any pressure on to eat or mention it. He was definitely better with foods he ate while on the PlayStation or watching TV when he wasn't really thinking about it.

I did take him to the docs because he was becoming really underweight. She was really reassuring to him and it did seem to help.

I would say higher calorie foods when he is distracted and you will get there eventually but it will take time, it's scary for them.

I had this too. Something that helped me was doing something that made me really hungry, so playing out for half a day/big walk etc -I was so hungry I forgot to worry almost.

Hi there, sorry I know this was posted a few years ago..,

just an anxious mum trawling through mumsnet trying to find some answers..

my 10 year old son has had issues swallowing with certain textures and some choking incidents.

I was wondering if you got help with your child?