AIBU - workmates never recognise my achievements

[tympanic]

I realise this is probably going to sound petty but I’m finding it all pretty sad.

My work requires me to post my work/achievements on various social media platforms. Like my colleagues, the more we post the more interest we generate in the company. So when I see posts from my colleagues I like/share/comment on them. Sadly I notice they rarely do the same for me. I’ve even congratulated workmates before and been totally ignored.

Recently I posted an achievement on LinkedIn that had much broader philanthropic appeal. As a result it got a huge number of views and a heap of likes and comments from people across the world. I saw a significant number of workmates read the post. Not one liked or commented on it.

AIBU to be saddened by this? Why bother reading a post only to click away given the nature of our work?

I'd add though, that given the SM thing is part of the firm's marketing, you should all have been briefed on how to use it, to maximise reach and engagement. You've either been instructed to comment on each others' posts, or you haven't. (Doing so will increase reach but, if all comments are from colleagues, may look 'fake' if what you really want is interaction from people outside the firm). So maybe asking the marketing lead for clarification on SM protocol might be relevant?

@MartySouth

People aren't answering the OPs actual question. Leaving aside the social media culture in the company the issue is, why do people not respond to OPs posts? Yes of course it's normal to be annoyed about it and I would wonder why too OP.

Thanks you! I wonder too...

@yearinyearout

Is this work an MLM scheme?

Absolutely not

Yanbu. I presume you're a fundraiser for a large charity? In which case it's totally normal to post achievements and increase awareness/charity support. You also do need supportive colleagues no matter what role you do. It's pretty shitty if they're not, you spend a huge chunk of your life in work, of course you want a sense of community and basic acknowledgement.

People have answered your Q, OP. Of course it’s not nice at work when people ‘slap each other on the back’ but ignore you.

You have lots of choices on what to do.

YANBU OP I would be upset if my colleagues did this. It sounds as though they are being petty.

I know there’s a lot of times when this is said and it’s not the case, but I think in this one it’s jealousy of your achievements. Sounds as though they’ve made a decision not to engage with your posts as a collective. So childish and hurtful. I couldn’t work with toxic people like that.

Perhaps they all ‘slap each other on the back’ because they’re friends. I read loads of social media comments and even if I’m not particularly interested in something a friend has put up, I ‘click like’ to be supportive/friendly and make them feel good.

Similarly, I read plenty of things online that I never ‘click like’ on, not to be unkind or because I’m not impressed, it just doesn’t occur to me to do so as I scroll through absentmindedly. If the same person told me the same thing in real life, I would react much more enthusiastically.

I suppose, therefore, if it was me, I would assume they are not liking my posts because I am not in their clique. If I wanted to be in their clique, I would be upset about the lack of likes.

I guess there is also a chance that they are jealous of you, or for some reason rolling their eyes at your comments, and therefore refusing to validate them. Do you think that is likely for any reason?

@tympanic

I’ve asked people to ignore the social media aspect and consider this question:

“Would you be happy if you worked with people who slapped each other on the back for a job well done yet ignored you?”

But you can’t ignore the social media aspect - they are patting each other on the back virtually. IRL this happens all the time. I’ve heard similar complaints about engagements pictures and birthday wishes etc. It’s tedious and you are too sensitive.

Do you work for a pyramid scheme like FM Fragrances?

@Goatinthegarden

Perhaps they all ‘slap each other on the back’ because they’re friends. I read loads of social media comments and even if I’m not particularly interested in something a friend has put up, I ‘click like’ to be supportive/friendly and make them feel good.

Similarly, I read plenty of things online that I never ‘click like’ on, not to be unkind or because I’m not impressed, it just doesn’t occur to me to do so as I scroll through absentmindedly. If the same person told me the same thing in real life, I would react much more enthusiastically.

I suppose, therefore, if it was me, I would assume they are not liking my posts because I am not in their clique. If I wanted to be in their clique, I would be upset about the lack of likes.

I guess there is also a chance that they are jealous of you, or for some reason rolling their eyes at your comments, and therefore refusing to validate them. Do you think that is likely for any reason?

I have wondered if they’re rolling their eyes at my comments, but if I’m genuinely congratulating them on their achievements why would that warrant an eye roll? Sometimes I honestly wonder if they just don’t bother with people they see as underlings.

@roses2

Do you work for a pyramid scheme like FM Fragrances?

No MLM. No pyramid schemes.

@YearOFF - I agree. It's a specific part of social media culture.

I see loads of wank on my Facebook feed from friends who are really into that culture. I roll my eyes and like things because I know it gives them kicks. Some things I deliberately ignore, because I just can't bring myself to.

OP - since you want an answer to your specific question regarding work colleagues congratulating each other and not you, here it is:

Yes, it would sting a bit, and piss me off (depending on the magnitude of the achievement and benefit to the company).

But I loathe even more being obligated to bend my personality and opinions to serve petty internal politics. Everyone hates that. There a guy (a pretty obnoxious guy), who whines that people don't like or acknowledge his internal posts. Some people picked up on his whines and started liking them, with all the sincerity of an atheist making the sign of the cross. It was and remains meaningless, and transfers some of the unhappiness onto the people doing the liking.

There are only two ways you can win in this situation: become above it and stop caring, or to become one of them in the in-crowd.

@Ducksarenotmyfriends

Yanbu. I presume you're a fundraiser for a large charity? In which case it's totally normal to post achievements and increase awareness/charity support. You also do need supportive colleagues no matter what role you do. It's pretty shitty if they're not, you spend a huge chunk of your life in work, of course you want a sense of community and basic acknowledgement.

The company I work for has a charity arm, yes. So my job is partly involved in that. Thank you for understanding not all social media is about virtue signalling and validation. I would have thought that was obvious but unfortunately people love to jump to conclusions!

@worzelsnurzel123

I know there’s a lot of times when this is said and it’s not the case, but I think in this one it’s jealousy of your achievements. Sounds as though they’ve made a decision not to engage with your posts as a collective. So childish and hurtful. I couldn’t work with toxic people like that.

It is honestly the most childish and toxic place I have ever worked. And I have worked in many different environments in several countries. I realise I need to change jobs. It’s just a shame because the good the place could do if people weren’t so unnecessarily unpleasant is greatly lessened by it.

Really tricky, yes it's annoying when you put in the likes and wave the flag so to speak, but it isn't personal - and actually it can look far better to get lots of external interest rather than have internal company cheerleading.

Social media exists in its own bubble in my opinion, but if it's part of a wider dissatisfaction -then you should address that, rather than the Social Media specifically.

@YearOFF

“Would you be happy if you worked with people who slapped each other on the back for a job well done yet ignored you?”

As a guess, you are a woman and they are men?? Incl your boss who doesn’t see the issue?

Just seen you've said it's childish and toxic, so the social media application isn't your problem - to be honest, I'd look to move on and not look back, life's too short!

@Timeforabiscuit

Really tricky, yes it's annoying when you put in the likes and wave the flag so to speak, but it isn't personal - and actually it can look far better to get lots of external interest rather than have internal company cheerleading.

Social media exists in its own bubble in my opinion, but if it's part of a wider dissatisfaction -then you should address that, rather than the Social Media specifically.

It’s part of wider dissatisfaction. It’s not just online, it’s in the office as well. I obviously need to leave the place.

@QuestionMarkNow

As a guess, you are a woman and they are men?? Incl your boss who doesn’t see the issue?

I am a woman and my boss is a man. The rest of the staff is mixed.

They might just not like you. Sometimes in an environment when everyone gets on apart from you.. You do have to start asking yourself some difficult questions.

@Wannakisstheteacher

They might just not like you. Sometimes in an environment when everyone gets on apart from you.. You do have to start asking yourself some difficult questions.

I've already asked myself those difficult questions. But the reality is I don't think anyone really likes anyone. It's so very much like high school where everyone thinks they're in the cool gang but the second they turn their backs they get slagged off just the same as anyone else. And some of the comments are so nasty. I have no doubt I've been slagged off plenty. Only everyone is. Very few of us don't play those reindeer games. I just don't get it. It's like no place I've ever worked before.

I’m sorry to say you’ve been dealt a bad hand then. It’s hard when you realise, but I think you should stop questioning yourself now, there’s nothing but heartache in it.
Hard time to do it but for your own mental health you need to find an exit strategy. If you feel like spending some time on a constructive exit interview then do, but bear in mind if you plan on continuing in the industry you could well meet colleagues in other places. Good luck!