Teen daughter wants nose job and I said no

[wewillseee]

My dd (16) has decided she needs a nose job. Last year she skateboarded into a lamppost (typical) and broke her nose, she now has breathing problems and the break is still fairly obvious. I don’t know whether someone so young should have plastic surgery but my family friend who is a plastic surgeon says her nose will have finished growing and if it bothers her she should do it. My DH says he’d pay for it but I’m still not sure. Opinions?

This is a reverse surely?

FFS OP. You sound mean begrudging surgery to fix a breathing difficulty.

It's not a "cosmetic" procedure. It's 1. Medical (because she's having breathing issues) and 2. Reconstructive (because she's injured and damaged it). You're cruel for saying no.

Also, if she wants it and her father had agreed then why do you get to veto it? Who made you the family boss?!

I had mine done at 16 because of breathing problems, on the NHS. It was only partially successful, and I had it done again when I was 22.

If you haven't got insurance, try and get a referral from your GP.

Why on earth wouldn't you support it?

It's medically necessary

She'll likely be eligible for nhs surgery.
What are your objections?

I had one at 18. Best thing ever.

If it's bent or has a bump it should be done regardless of the breathing difficulties but for me I would do it without question.

I’d love a breast and arm lift but I can get away with good bras and long sleeves.

This is her nose! Especially seeing as it’s causing breathing difficulties. You should support her.

DS had surgery for a similar problem. NHS otolaryngologist operated on him to improve his breathing and at the same time she did a little extra to improve his appearance. Ask gp for an ENT appointment.

Years ago, a girl in my year at school got a "nose job" for her sixteenth birthday. When she was talking to a few of us about it, and we asked why she had it done, she said if someone asked us to point her out we would say "the girl with the big nose". I think we all blushed. Iknow I did. She looked and felt great after.

Let your DD decide for herself, and support her all the way.

I wish I had got a nose job when I was younger I’ve always hated my nose and it affects my self esteem and confidence.

Like another poster my DD1 has inherited my nose and if she feels the same I will help her pay for a nose job when she reaches 18.

If it’s affecting her breathing too I would definitely allow her to have one, I would set the caveat at 18 though once she’s an adult, then she’s only got 2 years to wait for it.

Why are you refusing? Why on earth do you not want your daughter's injury to be properly repaired so she can breathe properly? I am truly gobsmacked at this.

What sort of relationship do you want with your daughter in the future? Because making this all about your wants, rather than her needs, will likely colour how she sees and relates to you (heck, I still haven't entirely forgiven my mother for the hideous short haircut she forced on me as a kid, and that was just bloody hair!) I hope you decide to do the right thing by the poor kid

@StressedMom4 I would support my DD too if she wants this when she's older. So far it looks like she's taking after my husband so hopefully she'll be ok. The noses on my side of the family seem to grow suddenly out of proportion with the rest of the face in the teenage years and are long with long nostrils and a fleshy bit at the end. The rest of my face is nice and I always think I would be pretty if I didn't have this eye sore sticking out of the front of my face. It's just the worst thing because you can't hide it. I've tried so many different hairstyles in the hope something would make it look smaller but it's impossible. I do find it hard to accept. I also think women with big noses are rare. All the ones I know I'm related to!!

@wewillsee

It's not plastic surgery where she wants to change something that is fine in the first place, it's fixing something broken back to it's original state. Would you also oppose to fixing a broken wrist? If not, then why is this an issue?

I think that you should let her have surgery, particularly as she has breathing problems

Quite meanly disparaging of you to call it a “nose job”. This doesn’t sound like a vain woman, or young girl too easily pressured by the media who will transfer her body loathing to another body part as soon as the operation is done. Even without the breathing issues - which are a bloody good reason - I think the cosmetic reason is fine.

My DH1 has this done at 29 to fix a break he had at 14 playing rugby. It was a horrible operation (private in top London hospital). Better to have it sooner rather than wait until she is working and if her dad pays win-win!

I had a septoplasty (I think that's what it's called) in my early twenties I couldn't breathe through my nose and sounded as if I had a permanent cold.

I was in constant pain and couldn't sleep. It took ages before I had surgery, problem started in my late teens.

You are unreasonable to want her to keep suffering in this way.

Also the recovery is pretty brutal it's so close to your ears it messes with your balance for ages. It was a good few months before I felt ok again.