Who is BU? Need some perspective

[FrostyGirl66]

Little scenario. I'm not saying who's who, I just need unbiased views please.

Persons A and B are married with two daughters aged 5 and 9.

Person A's sister messaged person B to let them know she has bought a present for eldest daughter and can she come round to give it to her.

Person B said yes but can you make it tomorrow when youngest daughter is at school. Reason being youngest won't understand why she hasn't been given anything and will feel like an obvious display of favouritism, which person B felt was not fair.

Just to note, it's no ones birthday and there hasn't been any occurrences when person A's sister has given youngest daughter a present and not eldest. Persons A and B and daughters don't see person A's sister very often (not sure if that has any relevance).

Person A can't understand why person B insisted on youngest not being there and that she'll have to toughen up eventually, why not now.

Views please. Who's BU? Thank you for reading!

If there is no reason for the gift i would say to sister its knid but no thank you. Both get or neither get.
To answer the question you asked though, A is unreasonable. If you plan to take the gift its should not be infront of the other child. Although the sibling will mention it so it seems almost pointless trying to save the childs feelings, because they will find out anyways

It’s just books.

If it was a full on present I'd agree with you, but a couple of books she probably just came across and picked up are not the same at all. I think she was kind to buy them and you are overthinking it, I doubt your younger dd would be bothered in this case. Why should your sister have to buy an extra gift? I'm sure she'll do the same for your younger daughter at some time too.

"It's just books"

My 4 year old DS loves books and would be really excited to receive a book from a series he likes.

Wow, a kid who likes books I meant it’s not a parade of love and adoration for the elder child now is it, it’s just books and is life always exactly equal, no; maybe the aunt saw it and thought of her elder niece and next time she’ll think of the younger one.

I think unless she was wrapping them up and making it a full gift, then that's unreasonable.
If nothing else, are you then going to tell the older one not to say anything? Otherwise "Aunty Bee came round and gave me the books while you were at school" sounds far worse. The younger child will feel they missed out on seeing her and didn't get a present.

Old books, you tell youngest eldest got some books, and offer to buy her a book at charity shop.

It's just your sister dropping off a couple of books for your teenage niece, an "I saw these and thought of you", which I think is really nice of her. As long as there aren't trumpets and a grand book unveiling then she shouldn't have to come around when the little one isn't around, and she shouldn't have to bring gifts for the others. I would imagine that as a teen in a house with a much younger sibling she might occasionally feel invisible, as attention is often on the little ones. This is a really nice way of her aunt showing your teen is special.

The aunt here is being very unreasonable. Not very nice to buy for one child but not the other. Surely she could have gotten the little one something small. Doesnt matter that the younger child wont be there. She will surely notice the presents eventually.

Your medal is in the post @tempnamechange98765

It's my old one, my two year old only reads stand alone novels now.

I actually don't like this creeping thing that you can't buy for one sibling and not the other. If it was on more than one occasion and like favouritism you're stamp that out, but it does sound like she saw some books she knew her niece would like and grabbed them. The assumption that she then has to maybe make a special trip to find something suitable for the five year old feels a bit much. Ideally, maybe you'd grab some sweets to even it out but I don't think it's as bad as you're making out OP

Ah I just picked up its your SIL who brought the books round! Is that part of the issue?

Buy for both,whoever bought for one should buy something for the other.it would be hurtful for the left out child otherwise.

Mountain out of a molehill. Your sil has very kindly picked up a couple of books your offer daughter will like. Maybe next time it'll be something for the little one. Massively overthinking this.