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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone who's had / knows someone who's had chemo...

39 replies

Jourdain11 · 29/06/2020 19:04

... do you ever feel "normal" again?

I'm starting consolidation chemo for AML tomorrow, but at least have now finished the horrible induction treatment! 😂 I guess what I'm wondering... from anyone who has been through this... do you ever feel physically normal again? Honestly, I just feel like a feeble wreck or a shadow of the person I was 6 months ago. I can't imagine I'm ever going to get back to normal!

OP posts:
Mollymalone123 · 30/06/2020 12:04

I had 6 rounds of chemo- first lot of drugs had expected side effects but barely felt sick- luckily anti nausea drugs really helped- second lot of drugs used I had every side effect - lost my nails eyebrows eyelashes- had v bad reaction with my skin and luckily only ended up in hospital at the very end of treatment-but I coped and u will too.I got to be here and see my grandchildren grow up. You just keep plodding on.only had one day where I had a bit of a meltdown and thought I can’t do it! Luckily it was just me and the dog to see it 😂😂 you will get through it and you as they say ‘ this too shall pass’ good luck xx

Kimsha · 30/06/2020 12:21

I’m sorry you are having to face chemo, I think the fear is much worse than the bite.

The truth is, what was normal before will no longer be normal. You have to get used to a new normal.
The best thing to think about is how you can support your own body to bring about healing.

  • Eat the right foods
  • Do exercises
  • Oxygenate
  • De-stress & let go of negative emotions
  • Seek help whenever you need it.

The very best!

Chesneyhawkes1 · 30/06/2020 12:24

I finished chemo and radiotherapy just over 3 weeks ago. I already feel a lot better fatigue wise.

I was literally napping my day away during treatment. I've pulled a few all dayers lately 😂

Some days I still feel really tired especially if over done exercise the day before. Did my kettle bells Sunday and felt knackered after.

Chesneyhawkes1 · 30/06/2020 12:25

I will say my chemo seemed pretty "tame" compared to a lot of others though.

whycantIthinkofadecentusername · 30/06/2020 12:30

My MIL had a very aggressive chemo when she was 77. She's just turned 81 now and says she just feel the affects of chemo at all, just the missing lung. It took her about a year to start feeling normal, but I caveat this with it was a very aggressive cancer, very aggressive chemo and large operation combined with her age. Her consultant told us as much. Good luck with your treatment OP.

Bobbiepin · 30/06/2020 18:34

DMIL had chemo a few years back, AFAIK the only long term effect is very weak nails. Her regrown hair is different and far nicer than it was before. Good luck OP Cake

SnowsInWater · 03/07/2020 11:50

My (very aggressive) Chemo finished a year ago, I had surgery and radiotherapy after and I have just started working again. My work requires me to be sharp and particularly eloquent and I am just at a stage where I can do it. I do feel though that I will never be quite as good as I used to be 😐

FlameFartingDragon · 03/07/2020 11:59

Sending you much love. I haven't had chemo, though know people who have. I had another illness that left we wiped for a good two years so I thought I would share some tips.

  1. Lower your expectations. In fact, have no expectations at all if possible.
  2. Invest in really good black out blinds / curtains for your bedroom. Actually invest in your bedroom full stop.
  3. Don't get into bad habits in the bedroom if possible (this one is hard). Try not to eat in bed and avoid screens in bed as both lead to poor quality sleep which makes the fatigue worse. I had bean bag chair a couple of steps away from the bed that on really bad days I could sit on for screen time etc.
  4. Do reach out for a counselling service if you can afford it - I found that really helpful as I didn't want to offload on family and friends.
  5. Ask for help. If you are debating whether you need it or not, ask for help. Simple things like help with childcare (if you have children), and a list of people you can call in the morning and ask to cook a family meal if you are having a really bad day. Also Cook meals, whilst expensive, were (and still are) a life saver.
  6. Try to eat healthy, the right foods, even in small amounts will be beneficial.

Take care and wishing you all the best for a very speedy recovery.

Misskittyfantastico85 · 03/07/2020 13:15

I think it also depends on the type of chemo. My husband went through chemo last year and one of the side effects of that particular one was neuropathy which is a constant tingling in the hand and feet. Its called CIN (chemotherapy induced neuropathy) and will never ever go away.

He just started another type and this one doesn't have the neuropathy side effect, but has a tummy knotting sensation so I guess it depends

Original poster
Jourdain11 · 03/07/2020 14:51

Thanks so much for all the advice! It has been really helpful and, while I'm sorry that some of you had to go through this too, it's kind of reassuring to know that I'm not just incredibly feeble and pathetic!

I do have kids (8, 6 and 5) so it has all been a bit full on. It is much easier now that we can actually ask for help and everything! But back in the lockdown period, it was impossible! They couldn't get away from anything, nobody could even help out for an hour because it wasn't allowed. So in the end they went to stay with my PiL in the South West for a few weeks. They are also going with my parents to Brittany, all being well, for a fortnight of (hopefully) sunshine and outdoors time. Judging by this chemo round so far (day 4) it's going to be difficult still for the next little while... Still, 1 almost down, hopefully only 3 to go!!

OP posts:
tobedtoMNandfart · 03/07/2020 16:33

Sorry I haven't RTFT but the answer is yes. Obviously all chemos are specifically targeted so I cannot comment on AML ... but I had chemo for a different leukaemia and have now been well for 12 years!
Understandably you now feel like shitty shit shit. (It's killing the cancer as well as making you feel like shit).
Then the fatigue will last a while, be kind to yourself and ask for help. Cut corners and lower your standards!
TBH my stamina did take a few years to return. Which is a small price to pay for many more years with my 3 children x

Good luck 💐

AramintaLee · 03/07/2020 16:56

I was unfortunate enough to have chemo when I was 18. At the time it was the most lethal cocktail of chemo you could have. It pretty much took me to the brink. I'm glad to say I feel 100% normal now and I can only vaguely remember how I felt at the time. I think the brain has an amazing way of trying to forget trauma/pain. To be honest, I was so focussed on what I needed to do and what my next step would be that I didn't give much thought to anything else.

Basically, it sucks at the time but it serves it's purpose and you WILL feel normal again.

Original poster
Jourdain11 · 03/07/2020 21:09

It's interesting how your brain "forgets" pain, for sure. I know I found childbirth quite painful 😂 but I can't actually recall what it felt like at all! Although apparently, halfway through the process with DC1 I said, "That's it, I've changed my mind - I don't want to have a baby any more after all."

OP posts:
LittleGreenFr0g · 03/07/2020 23:34

I had chemo and radiotherapy 9 years ago for breast cancer, and whilst I do not know what normal would have been if I hadn't have gone through it, I can honestly say that I feel ok. Chemo was shit and draining.and took away 6 months of my life (and my hair) but it was worth it. I have seen my children grow up which I didnt think would happen when diagnosed.

Honestly, you will feel normal again. Good luck Flowers

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