Wtf is wrong with me

[angrybirdz]

I woke up and couldn't find my hair tie to tie it back, it's long and thick and I hate it, I eventually found one it and it fucking broke, damn near cut my hair off trying to find one.

I'm ducking angry, I hate the fucking bobble, I hate my fucking hair and I want to scream. This year has been shit, I never see my father , my mother is dead, twin dc have grown up and left home this summer and do nhs jobs, my youngest is in GCSEs years, we have not enough cash, there is nothing I do for me except go out to work, cook and waste time online until I can go to bed. I don't have a dp or dh and no friends who I can see, there are no friends.

Aibu to feel so fucking angry I could scream.

Didnt want to read and run. Sounds like your having a difficult time. How about you find thing that gives you a sense of achievement, enjoyment or.closeness with others and make a plan to do it this week. Try it and see how you fell next week!

Work gives me achievement but now I'm just angry, I cant sleep for it. It's not like me to feel angry.

Try looking at something outside of work. What did you used to enjoy doing? Where did you like to go? Who did you like seeing? Try and find one thing to plan into your week. Something to look forward to. Start small and build up.

Maybe just let yourself feel angry for now rather than trying to fix it. You probably need to feel it to release it. It's not like you don't have good reasons to experience some anger occasionally.

I'm no psychologist but I'm guessing its not the bobble that has you so angry. Things are re-opening so you can plan to do more now. Find something you can do to reduce the rage or stress... at least get some physical exercise in to start - if you are not doing any already (post sounds like not, unless you get alot in your job). Step away from the screen, ban yourself & do something else you enjoy with that time.

Anger is better than depression. It's more releasing. Scream at your hair bobble if you need to. The real issues can have your attention when you've released the tension. There's troubles you have no power over (lockdown, not seeing your dad, DTs growing up and working in NHS.) But there's things making you miserable that you do have complete control over. Having nothing in your life for yourself is something you can change right now. Start a list of things you used to love doing and do some. List things you enjoy that are free or easy to access and add them to your life immediately (listen to favourite music, read a new book by a favourite author or see a film by a favourite director, watch reruns of comedies and favourite films.) Just raise the level of pleasure in your life by small notches. And make a bucket list - then start doing the stuff on the list.

And now I must go to bed. (Had insomnia since 1.30 am and now it's gone 4am.)

This might not be the right time to say it but you can order some more bobbles on amazon (a whole card full of them, in pretty colors, including silver and gold) and then when you lose or break one next time, you have a stash in the drawer.

A fellow bobble breaker. And when I can't tie my (annoyingly COVID-long) hair back, I get cranky.

Sorry and hugs for the shitty stuff.

Also, read up on Chinese herbs for menopause symptoms.

Braid your hair, skype with your dad and kids, try to remember something you used to love to do, then go ahead and be angry.
You have reason to feel angry so go ahead and feel it.
Oft times anger moves us to action, and it could be that your anger will give rise to a solution to some of the things that are upsetting you.

Start by cutting your hair very short.

I treated myself to a load of hair clips and curly bobbles from www.inkyandmole.com/
They brighten up my miserable (from being shielded for so long with a 16 year old (GCSE year) who I no longer have the will to try and motivate) face - hope that helps!

We all feel angry from time to time, best to acknowledge it, and accept that this is normal. Life is not easy at the moment.
Hairdressers open on Saturday, book an appointment but I suspect your anger is deep rooted and not about your hair.

It will pass like all things.

Any chance you're peri-menopausal? It's not uncommon to feel rage if so.

@angrybirdz I understand, i went through a time of stress and sadness last year. I tried so hard to hold everything together that the only emotion I could show was anger. If I felt sad, worried, anxious, I would show anger. Snapping at everyone and everything, things that wouldn't usually bother me.
I had to find a hobby because I had none. I started doing a bit of cross stitch - i could pull it out and do a bit whenever I had a bit of time free, it was really calming and took me away from my phone, and I actually achieved something with my time. I made Christmas cushion covers.
I'm starting to feel a bit the same now, I've definitely taken a few steps backwards since lockdown, and yesterday realised I'm snapping at everything again. I managed to get a rowing machine last week so am going to put some time into that every day, just to bring me away from the couch and my phone.

The bobble is just the 'rod that broke the camel's back '
I have days like this, nothing seems to go right and one little thing suddenly seems magnified.
Your life seems pretty much like mine, endlessly dull at times, however at others I am quite content.
I recently read an autobiography which ended with the words... ' If you cannot have the life you love...love the life you have ' I am going to try that.

The hair bobble isn't the problem. It sounds as if it's the straw that broke the camel's back and it's brought other problems to the fore which you've been suppressing.

I'm sure the anger is unusual for you as you're asking if it's unreasonable - no it's not, it says you're at the end of your tether right now.

Can you talk about it to the friends you don't see ? If not , people on here will listen .

Best thing I ever did was buy a bike. I honestly recommend it. The boost I get from the endorphins lifting and the clear headspace is so valuable.

If you don't have one see if you can get one second hand for yourself and DD. Then make a point of getting out each evening. Sort out your emotional health first, then you can work on improving other things.

YANBU, sounds shit. I hate your stupid hair bobble too, little bastard.