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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

When is the earliest I can ask my neighbours to STFU

21 replies

otterbaby · 28/06/2020 20:57

We've lived in our house for 5 years. Neighbours on either side rent. Neighbour to the left is a guy in his 30's, normally very quiet, except when his girlfriend comes round. When she comes over, she usually shows up with a massive case of cider, invites some of her mates round and they end up playing music really loud and singing/wailing/howling at the top of their lungs. First time we went over to ask them to be quiet was a few months ago at 5am (how we managed that late, I'll never know). He was very apologetic. Since lockdown, it's become more frequent, basically once a week now. I banged on the wall at 2am last weekend. They turned off the music and knocked back (which I chose to interpret as an apology and went back to bed instead of banging their door down).

Now, on a Sunday of all days, it's started again. 4pm it started this time and still going strong. Can't NOT hear it regardless of what room I'm in. DH and I went on an evening walk earlier because I thought I was going to have a breakdown and I just needed to get away from it. I'm 6 months pregnant and it's stressing me out - once they start, it's like my ears perk up at every single sound. I hear it through the tv, our music playing, etc etc. The shrillness of it is insane.

How early is too early to tell them to keep it down? DH has work at 7am so we normally go to bed around 9:30pm-10:30pm. I know the noise ordinance is 11pm but they normally ignore that so why should we wait that late for a bit of peace?!

OP posts:
doodlejump1980 · 28/06/2020 20:59

Ooft that sounds bad. Just think you’ll get your own back in 3 months with a newborn crying at all hours!

user1471507295 · 28/06/2020 21:01

Why is the fact they rent relevant? If they owned the house would that change anything for you?

Brefugee · 28/06/2020 21:01

they rent? what's your point?

Amijustagrump · 28/06/2020 21:03

Noise that is impacting life at any time is unreasonable, there isnt legal hours. Maybe they don't know how much it is travelling? I would probably knock and explain it to them. We have similar issues with our neighbours and I know how damaging it can be. They are due to move soon and I find myself counting how much longer I have to put up with it!

SunbathingDragon · 28/06/2020 21:04

Why don’t you have a (distanced) chat and explain what time you go to bed due to work and how loud they are being. Then take it from there.

ZombieFan · 28/06/2020 21:04

Have you tried actually talking to the guy rather than jumping straight to swearing? Maybe they are reasonable people who have no idea its bothering you!

otterbaby · 28/06/2020 21:05

@doodlejump1980 I have definitely thought that!

@user1471507295 @Brefugee I noted it to provide background that they're not long-term residents.

OP posts:
Suchan1d10t · 28/06/2020 21:06

We rent, renting is relevant as we have clauses in our AST contract regarding noise impacting on neighbours, and it can, if problematic, be cited as a breach of contract

otterbaby · 28/06/2020 21:08

@ZombieFan we've definitely not sworn at him! We actually have a decent neighbourly relationship with him, which is why it's so frustrating. But we've had to ask a few times now and it doesn't seem to be getting through. And it's not pleasant to have to be the stick-in-the-mud constantly asking them to keep it down.

OP posts:
NellMangel · 28/06/2020 21:09

Selfish arseholes. At a weekend I would think midnight is a generous stfu time limit.

Perhaps complaining to their landlord if they arent listening.

theendoftheworldasweknowit · 28/06/2020 21:40

If I have to be up early, i generally have a word at 11pm to say that I would appreciate it if they turned the noise down by midnight. I think that's pretty fair. And I only do it when I absolutely need the sleep.

My neighbours and I all have each other's phone numbers, so it's easy enough to send each other a message if needed.

ZombieFan · 28/06/2020 21:43

@otterbaby I was just referring to the title of your op when I mentioned swearing. But we've had to ask a few times now and it doesn't seem to be getting through You have only mentioned telling them at 5am and banging on the wall at 2am. Have you had an calm conversation during the day about setting a quiet time and why? I would say 11pm is a pretty fair compromise.

Laaalaaaa · 28/06/2020 21:48

Are you superior to them because they rent? FWIW I’m a homeowner.

BlessYourCottonSocks · 28/06/2020 21:57

Personally I'd be sending DH round now to say ^this is getting beyond a joke.
My wife is pregnant and feeling ill and you're repeatedly playing loud music that disturbs your neighbours. It's Sunday evening and I'm up at 7am for work so turn it off please. ^ Anything other than an apology and turning it off would have me saying I'll be contacting the landlords and the council with a formal complaint about noise.

2bazookas · 28/06/2020 22:00

they rent? what's your point?

Few LL's want drunks trashing their property.

www.environmentlaw.org.uk/rte.asp?id=115

"If the noisy neighbour is a tenant, you can make a complaint to the landlord. Most tenancy agreements require tenants not to do anything that would constitute a nuisance to neighbours. The landlord can use the tenancy agreement to deal with the problem if it persists, with eviction as the last resort.

In England and Wales, Schedule 2 (Ground 2) of the Housing Act 1985 allows excessive noise nuisance to be possible grounds for eviction. Councils, housing associations and the police have powers to tackle anti-social noise from residential premises under Part 1 of the Anti-social Behaviour, Crime and Policing Act 2014.
In Scotland, section 35 of the Housing (Scotland) Act 2001 allows a landlord to convert a secure tenancy to a short secure tenancy if the tenant has been served with an antisocial behaviour order."
Torvean · 29/06/2020 03:44

Its 11pm here. I've knocked on the neighbours door several times during lockdown.

We are in a block of 6 and they're in the temporary flat. So all their misbehaviour has been documented by us all. Once lockdown is over we will be reporting it all to the council to get them out. And I've no sympathy due to their behaviour.

SionnachGlic · 29/06/2020 04:06

Stick a note under his door explaining your issues & you've asked politely a number of times...you'll have a new baby aoon & are nit prepared to put up with it any longer so you are reporting with support from neighbours also (if you do have it). Maybe he might pipe down...

SionnachGlic · 29/06/2020 04:06

soon.... not!

ChinWhiskers · 29/06/2020 04:11

Given the lockdown i would only knock if its noisy after midnight. Ideally no noise from 7 or 8pm.. but thats not reality.

EmeraldShamrock · 29/06/2020 06:14

Talk to him if he is otherwise okay he probably thinks you can't hear it or don't mind. It is far to late.

Carandi · 29/06/2020 07:05

Talk to your neighbour at a time when his gf isn't visiting and explain the issue. Tell him you want to give him the chance to improve things but if it continues to be a problem you'll have no choice but to report it to his LL.

And for everyone pointing it out - the question always gets asked eventually "are they renting or do they own", so its relevant for the OP to state the situation at the outset.

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