To be irritated by this

[Wearegoingtoneedabiggerboat]

DP is very much the introvert and at times can be socially awkward. He hates meeting new people and relies on me to arrange all most everything.
Before lockdown I always arranged days out and holidays. I would ask him where he wanted to go and he would just say I am happy with whatever. When we were out it was like dragging a reluctant teenager around, he never looks entirely happy and it often seems like we are rushing the day or holiday so he can get back home.
Since lockdown he has rarely left the house obviously other than work and the weekly shopping. Now that lockdown is lifting nothing has changed and when we get in from work on a Friday night he doesn’t leave the house till Monday morning for work again.
Most days are spent sitting on the sofa watching rubbish on the TV, he only seems to move to go to the toilet. He is not suffering from depression as he actually looks as happy as a pig in shit.
He once told me that he felt days out at weekends wasted the weekend. I worry about when the children leave home or when we retire. He often says he can’t wait to retire so we can go and visit places but I seriously doubt that would be the case.
Last weekend I got annoyed with him for not moving or going out. He told me not to be controlling and that he would never tell me what to do. He just says he enjoys chilling and relaxing
Is this normal is this what people do at weekends. When I told one of my work colleagues she said that sounds like my weekends and that she had spent the whole weekend catching up on soaps.
I am just frustrated and think what a waste but maybe I AIBU

I agree op, watching tv for hours would drive me nuts, there should be a compromise

I could have wrote this. I agree with what others have said about he shouldn't have to if he doesn't want to etc. but for me, it's my children missing out. I find it really frustrating that if it was left up to him we would live on takeaways and never leave the house! I don't know what the answer is as I'm still yet to work out my situation.

I'm with your husband OP.

As there are 2 days each weekend can you each have a day where you get to do what you each like?

@Wearegoingtoneedabiggerboat

I guess I just think he is wasting his life.

What are you doing when you go out that's so meaningful?!

If you think he is wasting his life, it is more about what you think of your life really,: what do you want? You find his life dull, which suggests you want something more...what is that? Ask yourself what you are interested in and and what you want to do. Decide abput him later.

My problem is I get bored easily and can’t spend long watching the T.V. I know it sounds controlling but I just can’t get my head around spending the whole weekend (every weekend) sat in front of the T.V. Is that really what people do

Also sounds very snobbish towards people who like watching TV.

Go out with your mates.
Let him chill.
Life isn't a test. There is no one at the end telling you if you got it right or wrong.

Me and your DH would get on like a house on fire OP 👍

Is that really what some people do? Yes, definitely. For some people the closest to jogging they get is watching a jogger run past their window.

It's not a cause for concern though. You mentioned that he keeps saying he can't wait to retire so he can go out and visit places. I totally understand that feeling. It's basically 'work exhausts me so much that I only want to do nothing when I'm off, I miss seeing the world and indulging in hobbies but I'll do that when I'm finished working for good.'

He's not telling you that you must stay home with him, (I hope), so even though you might find it irritating, it's not something that is dramatically affecting you.

If you really can't cope with living with that, it would be better to leave so you can both have what you want without any resentment towards each other.

Have you tried having a longer conversation about what he would want to do/see when he does retire? It might give you an insight into what he really wants from life, then you could even find small ways to add those things to his life.

He sounds boring as fuck. I couldn't be with someone who watched TV most of the time. You sound like you don't want that either. You're allowed to leave, you know.

My husband is a home body and spends hours tinkering away in the garage. I love visiting new places and walking so I go on my own or with a friend. Occasionally he will come too if there is a pub lunch involved, not at the moment obviously. I could not be bothered dragging a disinterested DH out as it would spoil my enjoyment. Can you go out on your own?

P.S... my mother is extremely sedentary by nature too. Her ideal life is staying at home, indulging herself in hobbies and watching films and TV shows. She works so, so hard in her job and is brilliant at it. I'm excited for when she can retire so that she can have the life she deserves after working so long. She's so excited about spending more time with her GC. And she will most likely start going for walks after retirement, because she's not a hermit. But her work is mentally exhausting, she doesn't need to be pushed to get up and out.

What attracted you to him in the first place? You sound very different, but you had enough in common to get married. What did you like doing together when you first became a couple?