I am prepared to be flamed for this and will try to keep this very short and to the point. I'll try to not drip feed but there are certain things I have to leave out.
I met a man a while back that I fell crazy in love with. Finally I had met the man I've been looking for my whole life. I was insanely attracted to him, the sex was amazing, he bought me little gifts and sent me cute messages all the time, he spent a lot of time at my house and stayed over all the time. I met his friends and we had what I thought was the start of a forever relationship. I was planning the future and thinking about holidays and all the great times we would be having together once lockdown lifted properly. I've had a really tough time throughout life and had a lot of trauma and upset I've also had mental health issues including a mental breakdown a few years ago and so for me this was finally my chance at happiness.
I woke up one morning a few weeks back to a message from a woman who said she was his long term partner, not only that but they had a newborn. In that moment I felt like my world fell to pieces. I understand hers did too and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone but I felt a bit of resentment that she wouldn't acknowledge that he had also cheated on me too whether she understood that or not. I might just be the other woman to her but to me he was my everything.
Anyway he blocked me that day and I heard nothing at all from him. He just completely ghosted me and I found the following weeks passed in a blur. Spent most of my time thinking about him and wondering what he was doing and whether he was missing me as much as I missed him. I slept a lot, barely ate, barely dressed just cried all the time and felt generally heartbroken. We've all been there I know it just felt different this time like the love of my life didn't want me anymore.
Anyway about a week ago he got in touch. Told me that he had separated with her and moved out, said that they were only just on speaking terms etc. He said how much he had missed me and thought about me and did I want to meet and talk. I agreed because I wanted some answers. I spent weeks sat around questioning everything and knowing nothing.
Anyway we met, it was very emotionally charged and we ended up sleeping together. For me I knew it was an instant mistake because I love him and it's only going to end in complications. He told me he loves me and he wants to be with me I just need to be patient with him as right now we couldn't be together properly with his ex still reeling from discovering the affair and he doesn't want to hurt her.
That was a week ago and I've been blocked again and not heard a word. I dont understand why he would do this again. I know he's using me and I know I'm strong enough to tell him to get fucked if he got back in touch again.
I guess I'm just finding it really hard to accept all that has happened. I wonder why i wasn't enough and why he told me so many lies.
I feel like I'm grieving for our relationship that didn't really exist. I'm feeling sad for all the things I was promised and it's been taken away.
I don't even know if I really do love him because the person I fell for didn't actually exist.
Has anyone else had to recover from an affair or finding out they were the mistress all along?
How did you cope with the aftermath? What helped you to move on and find yourself again?
Just an after note: They are very much still together as she's posted on social media over the last couple of days that give it away. I spoke to his partner the first time and sent her a lot of proof that she needed. This time round I haven't spoke to her and don't think I should. They are very much together and I don't see why I need to wreck that. She got the proof the first time and clearly stayed with him so what would be the point in sending her the latest?
I'd really appreciate some advice and please try to not be mean to me 😂 I'm going through it here as it is!