Hi all. I've got myself into a rut. I'm sure it's the huge changes and lockdown. Just not felt right for three months. I've had mild anxiety since my son was born two years ago. It was just silly really to start with. Convinced myself I didn't feel 100% on the days I had made plans. Then id not sleep right from worrying about being ok. Then id get a headache. If I pushed myself to go and meet a friend I often felt fine when I got back. Sometimes I would have to talk myself through it. Push myself to go. I'd pack crisps, water and chewing gum. Take some deep breaths and go. But mostly I was ok.
I put it down to having a 3 year old and new baby. It was exhausting going out sometimes. Especially one of my friends who I've since stopped seeing. Her kids were slightly older and I learned fairly early on that she was abit selfish (but that's another story)
As my DD came up to school age I started worrying about the routine. The nerves about being out the door on time etc. We choose a school a 25 minute walk away as it just looked lovely. I went to the drs who told me I was anemic. Took the pills. Daughter started school. Absolutely no problems. For 6 months I did all the school runs. I actually felt less anxious.
Then in march I started feeling unwell. I was anemic again. My partner did all the school runs. Then lockdown happened.
My iron is back to normal. But I seem to have a sickly feeling most days. A knot/quease in my stomach has become a regular thing. I get tight sore muscles. Occasionally I get a headache.
My mum's in hospital so I've had to "push" myself this week. I want to be there for my dad. So yesterday I went out in the heat to walk the ten minutes to him. I was feeling anxious. In all honesty my body didn't want to go. My head did! So I took rescue remedy and went. He suggested a ten minute walk. So me and the kids went with him. The whole time I was talking myself through it. I was thirsty. Felt mildly sick. Head was foggy. I couldn't make much conversation. I muddled through for an hour and half. Then made an excuse to go home. I felt really sick walking home. The heat had got to me to be fair.
Today I'm ok but since I had my sandwich my stomachs mildly knotted again. My partner took the kids out for an hour and o was happily getting jobs done. But they came back and all three are dossing in both rooms downstairs so I can't be bothered battling it. So now I'm feeling defeated. I just wish he would do more with them today so I could be productive.
I'm sorry this is a long post. I've had bloods done for the basics. Nothing seems massively up with me. So I'm accepting I've got myself in an anxious mess. I'm weak now. I can't push through many days without paracetamol, rescue remedy or a lie down.
I just don't know my way out of this? My Dr was reluctant last year to give me anxiety meds.
I don't think anyone will truly know what to do? But I'm at a loss. The weakness and nausea stops me going out for long. The feelings of letting my parents down are awful. But I have two young kids too. My other sisters have not done anything much to help yet. I've ironed for them and done some housework and shopping.
Any advise please