AIBU re shoes?

[madcatladyforever]

I was minding my own business at the garden centre getting some pots and looking at plants and this bloke kept crossing my path, he was quite sweet, not really my type.
Engaged me in conversation by the roses, I'm always up for a chat, especially at invisible 58.
Anyway he asked me out for a coffee but I'd clocked his shoes and I knew I could never go out with a man wearing such HORRIFICALLY ugly shoes. They were knock off market copy gucci type shoes with the logo all over them.
Anyway he was really nice so I let him down very gently and said I was really flattered but I didn't think my boyfriend would like it (I don't have a boyfriend).
Am I horribly shallow and ungrateful?

My friend had a boyfriend once who had complimented him on his shoes which is how they got talking. He went on to say he’d stopped seeing his psychiatrist because he had bad shoes. Shoes are important, but not that important.

If he's had enough going for him, you'd have got over the shoes. So it wasn't just the shoes that made you turn him down.

They might have been real Gucci!

I think if you were judging shoes for being old/ grubby you might BU. But fake designer hints at a rather unfortunate fake all the way sort of personality. So YANBU.

I'm around your age and I wouldn't be interested in someone who wore fake designer, but they could have been a Father's Day etc present.

You've made an assumption that they were chosen by him. It's always best not to make assumptions.

Fuck me - is this serious?
Please tell me it's a wind up?

You will never know.

How do you know they were knock off? Did you judge him as not being able to afford the real deal?

It isn't a wind up but to be fair I'm not looking for another relationship and the shoes were seriously horrible.

Gucci is ugly. Real or fake.

If you’re not feeling it with someone you don’t need to justify why. Maybe he would’ve been a lovely chap with poor taste in shoes, maybe he would’ve been a huge arsehole - but it doesn’t matter now either way.

"Am I horribly shallow and ungrateful?"
No. If he wore garish shoes that are designer and showy, that says something about his character and personality.

Why ungrateful though? You don't have to be be grateful for his attention. It does prove you aren't an invisible 58 year-old though.

At least he wasn't wearing the new irregular choice care bear ones.....

Shoes are one of the first things I notice in a man and can really put me off

He might have brought a matching pair for you when you met for coffee.

I do look at shoes, there is someone I know he’s terribly posh, well educated and lovely bloke get on well, not educated in the shoe department though, I’d still go out with him though DP might be a bit annoyed though, move in and replace all his shoes, or get a dog that only eats men shoes...

Maybe they were guilty shoes like those t shirts

Or were they guess?

Well it's really him who got a lucky escape. Anyone who is going to turn someone down because of their shoes is not worth wasting time and money on.

Thank God I didn't go by the trainers my very well educated, successful, very well kept, borderline OCD, Lovely and caring DH was wearing the first day I met him. It turned out he was on his way to the gym and had left his regular ones at the gym and wore his old ones. I wouldn't cared with way.

Very shallow 8ndeed!

No. You are not BU. I went out with a bloke who possessed a pair of Crocs. Enough said 🤷‍♀️

I met my DP at work, so his shoes were always smart black ones. When we started dating he would just wear his trainers or a pair of black boots. It wasn't until the Summer (we met in Autumn) when we were already committed to a (long distance) relationship that I realised his taste in Summer foot-attire. He's one of those people who can't wear any type of shoe, including sandals, without socks and had I not already fallen in love with the idiot, I probably would have ditched him there and then!!! He has since been shown the ways of wearing a particular type of Summer shoe without socks and we have compromised. So it all turned out well in the end.

I once turned down a second date with a nice guy because his shoes were awful; I felt bad but I couldn’t get past them

Maybe they were comfortable...

I recently wore the most ugly shoes due to the fact that I had horrible blisters. I wouldn't ever wear them to a date.

And my SO didn't think that they were a reason to not be with me anymore.

I once dumped a boyfriend due to bad shoes. I couldn't get past them. YANBU.