Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep the phone I was given as a gift?

61 replies

NeverGuessWho · 27/06/2020 12:38

STBXH has reported my phone as stolen.

The contract is his name, and he gave me the phone as a gift. The phone has not been stolen. It has always been in my possession.

There is approximately 15 months of the contract left. I can not afford to pay £33.00 a month for the next 15 months.

I’d appreciate knowing my legal position, if anyone knows.

Also, whether IABU to keep it, as it was a gift.

STBXH has been financially controlling throughout our marriage, as well as emotionally & verbally abusive. There has also been some physical abuse. He is not a pleasant, rational individual who is playing fair on any level.

TIA

OP posts:
NothingIsWrong · 27/06/2020 12:40

Surely if the contract is in his name, just stop paying it and get a new one of your own?

AnneLovesGilbert · 27/06/2020 12:42

Surely if he’s so awful you’d rather not have him paying your phone bill? Get a cheap sim only deal, I don’t know anyone who pays £33 a month these days. Mine is £10 and I don’t use all the data.

Maybe he doesn’t want to or can’t pay it anymore.

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 27/06/2020 12:42

Tbh I'd empty off everything on the phone, obviously back up photos or anything. Give the phone back to him after a full factory wipe and restore. Who cares if it was a gift, why keep anything he can use to continue controlling and abusing you!?

MorganKitten · 27/06/2020 12:42

Is he paying for it? Ask to have it transferred to your name and account. He shouldn’t be expected to pay for it after you’ve split.

Cherrysoup · 27/06/2020 12:43

Give it back, port your number and get a new phone/contract. £33 a month is not very competitive. I’ve got 20GB for £20 a month.

Ponoka7 · 27/06/2020 12:43

So are you still living together?

You say he's physically abusive? Now is the most dangerous point in your relationship and it's when a lot of women are either badly beaten or murdered.

sunflowersandtulips50 · 27/06/2020 12:44

Give it back....it doesnt matter if it was a gift, you have split up and he has zero obligation to continue paying £33 a month for your phone.

NerrSnerr · 27/06/2020 12:46

The contract is in his name and he hasn't finished paying for it. Why should he continue to pay £33 a month for you?

You need to buy your own phone.

NailsNeedDoing · 27/06/2020 12:50

You’ve split up, so if you don’t want to pay for the phone yourself now, you don’t get to have the phone. Give it back to him (after restoring factory settings obviously) and get your own. You might have to downgrade to something you can afford, but you can’t expect an ex to keep paying for your phone. You effectively are stealing it if he’s asked for it back and you won’t give it to him.

BrowncoatWaffles · 27/06/2020 12:50

If he's reported it stolen and the contract is in his name then it's his problem to sort paying the bill for the next 15 months, not yours.

I'd get a whole new phone and number, tell everyone the new one except him and just communicate with him via a specially set up email address.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 27/06/2020 12:51

Give it back....it doesnt matter if it was a gift, you have split up and he has zero obligation to continue paying £33 a month for your phone.

^ I disagree. He will have a contractual obligation to pay. Whether you are morally obliged to take over the contract is another matter. Usually a gift is a gift. This is complicated by the ongoing payments. Presumably those are partly to pay for an expensive handset and partly for the service.

If you’re getting a divorce, this is surely one thing of many to negotiate.

TerrapinStation · 27/06/2020 12:51

It's only a phone, follow the advice above and give it back, the contract isnt in your name, why would you want to keep it?

ScottishStottie · 27/06/2020 12:51

Legally i don't think you have any comeback. Its in his name and he is paying the bills. A phone contract is for your data but also paying off the value of the phone. So your gift is not yet paid for. If you cant afford it, give it back

TerrorWig · 27/06/2020 12:53

He’s reported a phone he is paying for and is in his name as stolen. If no one is paying for it then it belongs to the company.

YABU to keep it when it seems like your reasoning is he was abusive.

Give it back and buy a cheap phone and get a PAYG contract. You can get a smart phone for less than £100 and a decent rollover package with 4G for about £15 a month.

Original poster
NeverGuessWho · 27/06/2020 12:53

Thanks everyone for the replies.

@TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup
How would I clear my phone & transfer everything onto a new phone, please?

I know I should know this, but I am clueless. I’m going to buy a cheap SIM only deal today, so will have a new number.

OP posts:
TerrorWig · 27/06/2020 12:54

That was worded harshly.

I’m sorry he was abusive to you, but the natural response is not that you then get to keep something on contract because he gave it to you. It’s not really yours until the contract is paid in full.

TerrorWig · 27/06/2020 12:56

You can transfer your old number if you want, you don’t have to get another one.

I’m not sure how but websites and shops have all the info. There will be a factory reset option in the phone settings for when you’re ready to wipe it of all your info.

Elsewyre · 27/06/2020 12:56

@NeverGuessWho

STBXH has reported my phone as stolen.

The contract is his name, and he gave me the phone as a gift. The phone has not been stolen. It has always been in my possession.

There is approximately 15 months of the contract left. I can not afford to pay £33.00 a month for the next 15 months.

I’d appreciate knowing my legal position, if anyone knows.

Also, whether IABU to keep it, as it was a gift.

STBXH has been financially controlling throughout our marriage, as well as emotionally & verbally abusive. There has also been some physical abuse. He is not a pleasant, rational individual who is playing fair on any level.

TIA

Reset phone to factory defaults it's in your settings device general to clear it (do after moving stuff)

For moving everything if its Samsung you just plug old phone to new phone and it does everything for you.

If it's not accounts and backups will be your friend Google, Samsung, WhatsApp etc all have backups that will just download to new phone

TerrapinStation · 27/06/2020 13:01

There are loads of websites and videos that explain how to transfer your information from one phone to another or ask the person in the phone shop (assuming phone shops are open ATM)

ScottishStottie · 27/06/2020 13:02

Might be difficult to keep the number if ex isnt being helpful. I remember having massive issues with this when i had a contract in my dads name, they needed to confirm with the account holder to release the number to your new phone, but kept on phoning my mobile to confirm this, i would tell them to contact my dad on a dofferent number and they never did. Then would phone me again the next day asking ro speak to my dad...

Basically as with the phone contract, the number 'belongs' to your ex, he needs to aurhorise its release.

SoupDragon · 27/06/2020 13:05

Might be difficult to keep the number if ex isnt being helpful

I agree. If it is in his name and he is already being a dick by reporting it stolen, your best bet is to start afresh.

What phone is it?

SoupDragon · 27/06/2020 13:06

For SIM only deals, have a look at Giffgaff. We are all with them and have been really happy with them. They also sell refurbished phones (as do lots of other places)

7yo7yo · 27/06/2020 13:08

I’d do as above, transfer any thing necessary, factory reset it and chuck it in the toilet before I gave it back. But I’m malicious.

CupoTeap · 27/06/2020 13:12

Some phones once reported as stolen rather than close can never be unlocked. You should still be about to access everything on there and will need to use WiFi and you won't be able to make calls. Leave him with the contract and get your own.

QuestionableMouse · 27/06/2020 13:14

My Huawei has a program that you install on both phones that transfers everything. Guessing most phones have something like it.

If it's an iPhone I have no idea though 😂😂