Am I not important enough for him to remember?

[Isobored]

DH and I both have huge work commitments currently and working long hours.
I have endo, suffer from terrible pain and I am reliant on prescription meds to get me though my period. Asked DH yesterday to collect my script because I was working in the city and not able to get to the Dr and he was at home, so logistically made sense.
But he forgot. So I'm now facing a weekend of pain. AIBU to think if I was important to him he would remember?
For context we've recently had a conversation about me carrying all the mental load, house and putting in 60+ hours a week. He agreed to make more of an effort ......then this.

Buscopan IBS relief tablets are amazing for period pain

This is so disgusting OP, I too have chronic pain and I'd be furious if anyone left me in a state over th weekend.
It is clear he just cannot be bothered and doesn't care.
I hope you are considering a new life without this waste of space clown.

He forgot. Yes it's very annoying. But I don't think you can use it as a measure of how much he cares about you

I agree.
I forgot to take my partners books to his accountant once for a week🤷🏼‍♀️

It’s so frustrating and even worse that you’re in pain. I’d be less worried that he forgot (I forget things all the time, it’s a dreadful trait) but analysing his reaction now. Is he remorseful? Has he put in extra effort to ensure you’re getting some peace and rest / or bringing you some warm drinks etc? I hope you’re getting looked after

I have endo and the only thing that worked for me (past tense as it's now under control via the pill and current pregnancy) was maximum paracetamol with a hot water bottle on my belly and a cold flannel on my forehead. You've probably tried this already though.

Please talk to a pharmacist about if there is any kind of OTC mefenemic acid where you are, that used to work for me too.

I thankfully found some endone. Feel sick as hell but at least I can stand straight ...

@Isobored

DH and I both have huge work commitments currently and working long hours. I have endo, suffer from terrible pain and I am reliant on prescription meds to get me though my period. Asked DH yesterday to collect my script because I was working in the city and not able to get to the Dr and he was at home, so logistically made sense. But he forgot. So I'm now facing a weekend of pain. AIBU to think if I was important to him he would remember? For context we've recently had a conversation about me carrying all the mental load, house and putting in 60+ hours a week. He agreed to make more of an effort ......then this.

I think your post is full of self absorbed unhappiness, even your title. The fact that you had a conversation about mental load shows that this was waiting to happen as you are already feeling you cant rely on him and he was going to fail to make more of an effort at some point.

Yes ideally he would have remembered, was he working at home or sitting doing nothing at home? He is not to blame for you being in pain, but I think him not remembering feels to you like he didn't give it a second thought which in your mind = it was you he didn't give a second thought to and this is because he doesn't care enough because your not important to him.

That's a big leap but if you are feeling worthless and unappreciated in your relationship then him forgetting something that is important to you magnifies that resentment.

I hope you can take some of the pain remedy solutions that others have suggested. I think the feelings of being undervalued are something that will take more than the weekend to overcome.

Sorry OP, that sounds rough. How has he responded?

My husband was politely sceptical about one of my migraine triggers (old food/door left at room temp overnight) for years. He has now suddenly realised I was serious after I ate some soup (which he'd assured me would be fine) and then basically went to sleep for 2 days. Could you take to your bed for the entire weekend? It does sound like he needs a strong prompt to take you seriously and that might do it.

@slangofoillmochara

Buscopan IBS relief tablets are amazing for period pain

Endo isn’t period pain!

But I think you know that.

Have you tried Be You Period strips? If you can get them where you are
I have a few friends who suffer endo for years who swear by them.

Something as important as this I'd have probably text on lunch and asked if he had got them yet. Especially if you're already taking on the mental load and he is a bit useless at stuff like that.

If he was very apologetic and was genuine, I’d move on. If he didn’t seem to appreciate what it meant for your weekend then I’d reconsider the relationship.

Im sorry you feel so unwell .It seems to be rather neglectful that DH forgot your pain relief .However it sounds like you are both well stressed out and working 60 hour weeks is not going to help you at all! Can you cut down your hours at all or get some help at home? Pain relief works best if you are not exhausted as well .

That’s so shit and thoughtless of him.

The fact he's forgotten is shitty but it's something that anyone could forget, as annoying as it is.

Where you go from here really depends on how he reacted when he realised he'd forgotten - has he admitted it is his fault, been apologetic, and tried to help you find pain relief (even if it's just hot water bottles and being extra nice)?

Or is he acting like he doesn't give a shit?

I have to agree with some of the posters that say you should have checked and reminded him part way through the day if it was that important. I too would be very annoyed but he’s only human

Again our system is a bit backward and they don't send scripts digitally to the pharmacy.

I'm in Australia as well, and my doctor's practice does send scripts straight to the pharmacy. Plus referrals to Specialists. So you might want to double check that.

I love my husband dearly, but if I was absorbed in my work I could see me forgetting to pick up his prescription unless he sent me a wee text reminder. It is no measure of his value to me, I'm not perfect and can be forgetful. Did you send him a reminder during the day? If not, I think you are being a wee bit unfair and it was almost like you were testing him.

@NotIncandescentWithRage
Really? Bucoscopan is recommended for bowel spasms. Endo can cause bowel spams. I had general period pains, adenomyosis and endo. Bucoscopan helped.

I am sat here attached to a TENs machine for endo "period pain" it is a game changer. I refer to it as my best friend and we have a stash of 9v batteries in.

It is a 2 channel TENs machine off Amazon, it comes with 4 pads, so I have them over my ovaries and the other two at the base of my spine. You can hook the pads up so that the pulses either go through from say the left ovary to the left back pad or from left to right ovary. I bought it as a last ditch attempt to stay off the codeine as it makes me feel awful. I am not saying it removes the pain but reduces it considerably. Worth a try.

Re the Please ignore @andweallsingalong NEVER ever take ibuprofen and aspirin together, they cause stomach ulcers

Pandaol is paracetamol not asprin, pandaol ultra is paracetamol and codeine and the travel sickness stuff is to stop any nausea.

[quote Needtolovemyself]@NotIncandescentWithRage
Really? Bucoscopan is recommended for bowel spasms. Endo can cause bowel spams. I had general period pains, adenomyosis and endo. Bucoscopan helped.[/quote]
I heard that Bucoscopan can help, I mean let's be honest, if you told me that rubbing a stick of celery across my abdomen would help with the endo pain I would do it. Completely worth a try if your endo affects your bowel.

I hope you feel better soon OP.
What was his reaction to forgetting? To me this would indicate more than the actual act of forgetting the prescription. (But I do have a very forgetful DH!)

@Calmondeck

It’s so frustrating and even worse that you’re in pain. I’d be less worried that he forgot (I forget things all the time, it’s a dreadful trait) but analysing his reaction now. Is he remorseful? Has he put in extra effort to ensure you’re getting some peace and rest / or bringing you some warm drinks etc? I hope you’re getting looked after

I think this is a good point, how was his reaction and how is he trying to help look after you.

Again our system is a bit backward and they don't send scripts digitally to the pharmacy.

Are you sure - I'm in NZ and our doctors have sent scripts direct to the pharmacy for decades, right back to the days of fax machines.

I also don't think you can jump to the conclusion that your DH doesn't care because he forgot. We all forget things, and to be honest this is something which is obviously constantly on your mind but you can't expect it to be on his. I would have sent a text reminder.

You say you both have huge working committments but he needs to pull his weight more? And saying he clearly doesnt care when hes working as much as you are..?

I agree with previous posts about not using it as a measure of how much he cares about you, I appreciate you must be in pain but people forgot things all the time, especially when busy. Cant imagine thinking so little of my husband if he genuinely forgot, youra might feel awful about it!

Well he has a weekend of doing everything all weekend because you are suffering too much to do anything...