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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Chapel Of Rest Question

19 replies

Namechange19890 · 26/06/2020 20:45

My mum has just died of cancer. I do not get along with my mums side of the family but I have tried to be civil and comforting despite the past. They have not. I have been told by them that I cannot go and visit my mum due to covid. Can someone confirm that this is right? Funeral directors were cold and short worded to me saying to speak to other family members about it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechange19890 · 26/06/2020 20:46

I'm not executor of my mums will.

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechange19890 · 26/06/2020 20:46

And my mum didn't have coronvirus.

OP posts:
AliBear90 · 26/06/2020 20:48

In all honesty I don’t know. But are you organising the funeral / classed as your mums next of kin? As when my mum passed away we were next of kin and we got to say who could and couldn’t see her in the chapel of rest. We of course let all close friends and family see her just kept away abusive ex partner of hers.

Ohfrigginghellers · 26/06/2020 20:58

Sorry for your loss. Who is organising the funeral?

1Morewineplease · 26/06/2020 21:02

I feel pretty sure that you can visit your mum. Contact the funeral directors again and tell them that you’re going to visit her. I don’t believe that they have the right to stop you.
I am so sorry for your loss.

ParkheadParadise · 26/06/2020 21:02

Sorry for your loss.
I would think it depends on who is organizing the funeral.
I know someone who's mum died 2 weeks ago (not covid) and they got to see her in the chapel of rest.

Wynston · 26/06/2020 21:04

So sorry op.....I would just call the funeral directors again and tell them you will be coming. X

Batshittery · 26/06/2020 21:07

My DH works for a funeral director. It is a small family run company and they have been allowing relatives to visit their loved ones if it wasn't a corona virus death, but some larger companies will not. It doesn't matter who the executor of the will is OP. Sorry for your loss Thanks

Theoscargoesto · 26/06/2020 21:20

Sorry for your loss. Just lost both mum and dad so have recent experience of this. You can visit your mum and she shouldn’t be in a closed coffin either. Talk to the funeral directors, if you are next of kin I don’t think family can stop you, and of course they shouldn’t seek to. I feel for you, it’s a difficult enough time without family behaving badly.

loutypips · 26/06/2020 21:22

I think it may depend on the funeral directors. My Nan died a couple of weeks ago and they said that we could go, but by appointment only. Give them a call and ask. They may let you.

ultrablue · 26/06/2020 21:28

My Mom died at the start of lockdown so unless things have changed, as long as she didn't die related to covid 19 you can see her. Maybe they said to speak to your family as some funeral directors set aside just one day for family to pay their respects. Sorry for your loss xx

QueenArseClangers · 26/06/2020 21:59

If your DM has been released from a hospital mortuary then she might have to be treated as Covid +.
Guidelines are changing every week in the funeral industry. We’re letting family visit deceased who have died in hospital if they have evidence that Covid was not involved.

So sorry for your loss Flowers

Haretodaygonetomorrow · 26/06/2020 22:02

Really sorry for your loss Flowers

Surely to goodness families wouldn’t be stopped from seeing their loved ones, even if there was a chance of covid involvement? The virus doesn’t survive on a deceased body indefinitely.

Rainbowx · 26/06/2020 22:37

Sorry for your loss op
Co-OP dealt with my brother in laws and we could see him no problem this was right in lockdown too x

Rainbowx · 26/06/2020 22:38

Sorry just to add he also didn't die of covid he had a long term disability etc

NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite · 26/06/2020 22:40

If the deceased did not have Covid-19 then you can go and see them in the Chapel of Rest.

CherryPavlova · 26/06/2020 22:41

I think that’s right. Without wishing to cause worry, there is a case in one hospital where the wrong person was cremated because some of the usual measures such as families identifying bodies wasn’t happening due to Covid.
I think there is no viewing at the moment.

NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite · 26/06/2020 22:45

Surely to goodness families wouldn’t be stopped from seeing their loved ones, even if there was a chance of covid involvement? The virus doesn’t survive on a deceased body indefinitely.
You cannot visit the chapel to see the body of someone either with or suspected of having Covid.

JustOneMoreStep · 26/06/2020 22:48

You will need permission from whoever is organising the funeral to see your Mum, which is why the funeral director might be a bit short with you. Incidentally, just to pre warn you, if the funeral is held on private property such as a cremitorium the person organising the funeral can prevent you attending the funeral too. It's more complicated if it is a burial in a church - at least that was the advice the funeral director gave me when my Dad died and there were security concerns around another family member who wanted to attend.

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