to think you should keep an eye on your baby in the playground if he likes to bite?

[Tinasan]

I'm sorry this is so long...

I took my 11 month old DD to the park the other day, she loves the train, which has a tunnel on it that the kids can crawl through. One of the mums asked another mother how her son was, and she replied 'oh well, he hasn't bitten anyone yet today'. A few minutes later, my DD was crawling through the tunnel and a little boy of about 18 months - so still a baby really - toddled up and climbed in the tunnel, and immediately bit my DD on the cheek. Badly enough to puncture the skin and make it bleed. It was a few days ago and she's now got a huge purple bruise. Of course she started screaming, which scared the little boy who started crying too. I looked around for his mum, and she was sitting on a bench at the other end of the park chatting to her pal. She came up to get him and tried to carry him away quickly. When I said 'excuse me, he's just bitten my baby', she just looked at me blankly but she couldn't really deny it because of the massive bite marks. Because of the way she was looking at me I added on 'I'm just telling you in case he does it to one of the other kids, you might want to keep an eye on him'. At the time I was thinking not to make a big deal of it - after all it wasn't his fault as he's still very tiny, but she didn't apologise or tell her son not to bite people. She just carried him off and stuck him on a swing. Now I'm really annoyed that even though she knew her son was going through a biting stage, she still let him run around the park unsupervised. And then just ignored the whole issue with him instead of telling him not to bite.

God sorry that is so long. Thanks if you've managed to read this far. Do I just need to chill out a bit and try to overcome PFB syndrome?

To answer your final question, yes .

Although I appreciate how awful it must be to have your dd bitten, it just isn't realistic to stop an 18 month old from playing in a park. She wasn't to know that he would bite your dd, and you can't lock up a toddler for months/years until they've grown out of all the potential anti-social behaviour that they can exhibit!

She was wrong not to apologise to you though.

I thought it was a bit long . And I agree, it's completely unrealistic to stop an 18 month old playing in the park. What I guess my question should have been is - is it ok to sit on the bench a distance away from your kid and not keep an eye on him, if you know he is likely to bite!

I would be furious (PFB for me too) but I think the issue is the mother's role. I would have held my dd by the hand looked in her eyes and told her that you ^do not bite* other children. And made a big apology to you and felt ruddy awful about your child having a bite mark on their cheek!

And I do keep an eye on my dd where ever she is, a) to prevent things happening to her b) to check out how she is with other children (at the moment steers clear! Just bites me!).

But I do think that all children go thro the biting stage...could happen at any time with any child at that age...

Thanks Ally - yes I wasn't upset with the other baby at all, as you say it could happen at any time with any baby. It's the mother that I have an issue with. Hope I don't bump into her at the park again - I might feel like biting her!

they all go through the hitting biting stage when they are very small but she really should have disciplined him and apologised

You don't live in Warwickshire do you? There's a biter around these parts that has chomped on DS twice and the mother didn't give a toss. He was 18MO as well....

It's very upsetting when your child is injured by another child - but it happens! She was wrong not to apologise tho.'

I agree that a lot of kids go through this stage, especially when frustrated, but if the parent is reacting in an inappropriate way (mother of our biter laughs) then it's not going to get any better.

All you can do is keep an eye out.

i think that at 18m you should be still walking round with your child.
she should of said sorry as i am sure she will make sure her son will have good manners.
my friend and i went to local farm sitting having a cup of tea[first after long day]
my friends children came over to tell me boy has thrown sand at my son who is crying.
went over said to little boy[about 2]not to throw sand in a nice way and his mum sitting by sand pit [in raised voice]dont you tell my son what to do.
i said i only said to him as there was sand in my sons eyes!
she then said if you where not sitting on your arse you would of heard him crying,very up set at this time as her outburst uncalled for.
why if my son was crying did she not come over and get me[only ones there].
i would help any child if i could.

some parents drive me MAD

your not being unreasonable and i dont think the 18mo was to a certain extent. I would have kicked off rather bad if someone had bitten my childs face causing it to bleed! bloody hell without breaking the skin its agony so breaking the skin...... omg your poor dd im afraid i wouldnt have been able to be as calm as you were

sorry i meant the 18mo wasnt being unreasonable as he wasnt being stopped by his waste of space mother, probably said "oh no sweetheart dont try to eat the little girl its not very nice"