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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s just a bit weird to sit on someone else’s garden wall and have a chat

66 replies

Flamingolingo · 26/06/2020 19:56

Just that really - looked out of the window earlier and there was a group of probable students having a chat on the pavement outside my house. Two were sat on the garden wall, which is very obviously the garden wall and right in front of the sitting room window (I wasn’t in the room at the time). It’s my wall for sure, and it’s 100+ years old (and will be very expensive to rebuilt when it does eventually crumble. I was planning to go out and water the flowers and gently move them on, but they left after about 15 minutes and before I finished sorting small children out. They didn’t actually do any harm, but AIBU to object to people randomly sitting on my wall?

OP posts:
frazzledasarock · 26/06/2020 22:44

Had this problem at previous house so we also put spiked railings on the wall. And gates as weirdly local teens would walk down my drive then cut through the neighbours pathway. Once we had built a wall (with railings) and gates it all stopped.

Was really weird as it wasn’t short cut either, made the journey longer for them. Maybe they enjoyed the thrill of walking across our drive. 🤷🏻‍♀️

TheYellowOfTheEgg · 26/06/2020 23:33

Doesn't bother me when people sit on my wall.

I was once asked to "move on" from sitting on a garden wall in DH's home village. She told me that they get a lot of hooligans. I was 40 years old and about 8 months pregnant and tired. I didn't think that I looked like a hooligan.

RoundTheTwister · 26/06/2020 23:41

My husband and I had a conversation about this out walking today when we saw a lady sitting on someone's wall (she was waiting for someone and they then went on towards the beach so not associated with the house). We both agreed we would never do it and it's rude to do so. It's someone else's property so I would never do anything to risk damaging it.

Toseland · 27/06/2020 00:18

Three teenagers were sitting on my front wall once (Victorian terrace). I wasn’t too bothered until they started arguing, but then one got up and shoved another really hard and fell on to him, they fell back and the small wall gave way leaving all three in a heap of bricks in the front garden! Quite a comedy moment. They ran off pretty quick.

ArriettyJones · 27/06/2020 00:23

We used to get this. DH was worried the wall would collapse and we’d be sued, so I planted a hedge of (spiky) pyrocanthus and it grew to 5ft in four years. No wall- sitting after the first year.

Redshoeblueshoe · 27/06/2020 00:27

DH used to tell off kids sitting on our wall, it was every bloody night. They never moved.
I decided to change tactics, I would say - be careful there's an ants next there, they moved pretty quickly Grin

Jenasaurus · 27/06/2020 00:31

This takes me back to when I was 17, I sat on a garden wall and kissed my BF, and this woman came out and screeched at us, probably rightly so, but it scared the hell out of us, I hadnt really thought it was her wall, he was walking me home and we stopped for a kiss.

Pipandmum · 27/06/2020 00:32

A friend had Pete Townsend shout at her for sitting on his wall while she waited for a bus. 'My generation' indeed.

Redshoeblueshoe · 27/06/2020 00:37

Pip that's cool and ageing at the same time Grin

StillCoughingandLaughing · 27/06/2020 00:58

It’s a very common way to behave. If they want to sit down they can find a bench.

Original poster
Flamingolingo · 27/06/2020 06:49

Ah brilliant, so it’s not me then! Some great stories here, and the moral of the story seems to be to leave garden walls alone.

OP posts:
redwoodmazza · 27/06/2020 07:16

I would hate it too, OP.

Littlehouseinthebigcity · 27/06/2020 08:21

It's a tricky one. I would've thought that it was weird a few years ago but I am now disabled following an accident and can't walk far without a rest. If there are no benches around I do tend to perch on someone's wall and hope they don't mind! Have tried to do it less with COVID stresses in mind but that has really limited how far I can walk from the house and I need to get the children to have a decent amount of exercise!! So I don't think you're unreasonable but they may have had a legitimate reason for needing to sit while their friends stood.

Original poster
Flamingolingo · 27/06/2020 10:28

@Littlehouseinthebigcity that’s a really good point, thank you. I’m pretty sure if someone was elderly, obviously disabled, or clearly having a needed rest I wouldn’t care. This didn’t look to be the case, but of course there is hidden disability to consider. This was just people sitting on the wall while they had a chat (and changing positions, so one sat/two sat/one leaning)

OP posts:
girlywhirly · 27/06/2020 14:08

If your wall is very old and a bit delicate, I’d put a notice on it to say it’s unsafe which might deter some people from sitting there.

pinkstripeycat · 27/06/2020 14:13

Would all you “relaxed folk” think it was okay if someone sat on the bonnet of your car or on your garden step? If not, then why should OP feel okay with people sitting on her wall? It might not be crumbling now but it will if people keep sitting on it. I’d have moved them on OP.

HogDogKetchup · 27/06/2020 14:21

I used to get this all the time at my old house, also house from the Victorian era so old, also in front of my living room window. It bothered my husband but I really didn’t care. I think it’s normal to have an urge to rest your legs whilst you chat.

CathyComesHome · 27/06/2020 16:01

Most young people or people who aren’t homeowners have no idea that walls are so fragile. It certainly would never have occurred to me that a structure as sturdy-looking as a wall could be damaged by sitting.

In many areas including mine authorities have removed benches to discourage loitering, and even bus stops often have no seating. It makes life incredibly hard for disabled people, and also for young people who naturally want to hang out with their friends. It’s a shame that people’s walls are taking the brunt, because there really should be more provision of public seating available.

DestinationFkd · 27/06/2020 16:25

I used to get youngsters sitting on my wall which ran up the side of my house, smoking weed.
Until I smeared used engine oil over the top of it.

LudaMusser · 27/06/2020 16:29

I have a wall which people could sit on but I purposely let the bushes grow over it so they don't

Bluntness100 · 27/06/2020 16:31

One day 2 teenage girls came in to my front garden and stood under the porch overhanging roof to shelter from the rain

My next door neighbours cat does that. Little fucker.

😂

4Smalls · 27/06/2020 16:34

@pinkstripeycat

Would all you “relaxed folk” think it was okay if someone sat on the bonnet of your car or on your garden step? If not, then why should OP feel okay with people sitting on her wall? It might not be crumbling now but it will if people keep sitting on it. I’d have moved them on OP.
Am relaxed folk. I'm fine with people sitting on my garden wall (as one-offs). I'm fine with people sitting on my garden step. Couldn't give a monkeys. What a lot of CFs. Glad you're not my neighbours. Bonnet of car is different as it is likely to dent. But someone leaning against my car to chat would be fine with me.
HogDogKetchup · 27/06/2020 18:11

Bonnet of car is different as it is likely to dent

Exactly, I’d object to them taking a sip of tea too, but sitting on my wall. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Hannah888 · 27/06/2020 22:28

Flamingolingo. Luckily they disappeared which was just as well!

StillCoughingandLaughing · 28/06/2020 04:33

What a lot of CFs. Glad you're not my neighbours.

‘CFs’ for not wanting people using their private property as a public bench?