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AIBU?

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Original poster

Verbally abused by teenager, would you say something in this situation or not?

78 replies

Hannahxc1 · 26/06/2020 16:42

I've just picked up a few bits for tea from Sainsbury's and as I'm walking through the doors to leave the shop I hear "come on you fat cow hurry up for fuck sake"

I look back it's a teenage girl (16-17) in a group of three and it was me she was talking to.

I wasn't dordling, I was moving perfectly quickly. I didn't have a trolly or pram holding me up. There was no congestion of people waiting to pass. She just wanted to be confrontational and was clearly looking for attention from her friends.

I was caught off guard and didn't know how to respond so I just rolled my eyes and walked off, but I'm still annoyed 15 minutes later and think I should have said something to the little witch.

Would you have?

OP posts:
bluevioletcrimsonsky · 27/06/2020 05:30

Pity her. If she feels good about doing something like this, she doesn't have a great future ahead. It was good you didn't react, no point of responding and give her satisfaction for her action.

borntohula · 27/06/2020 06:00

Good god, I have a 14yo DD and would be absolutely furious if I discovered she was behaving like that.

redwoodmazza · 27/06/2020 07:41

'dordling' - love it!!!! Smile

JRUIN · 27/06/2020 08:23

God I'd be so embarrassed if any of my kids behaved like that, and I would have told the little bitch that and to stop showing off too.

Putyourdamnshoeson · 27/06/2020 08:55

So, they're being dicks. But, so are you a wee bit, woukd it have been OK for them to say it to someone who was a size 18?

' I don't consider myself to be all that fat, I'm a size 10-12 and have not long had a baby so I don't think I'm doing too bad'

I mean, based on this from you.

Shinygreenelephant · 27/06/2020 08:55

Teenagers can be awful. I was rushing to get on the train yesterday, a swaggering group of teenage boys wouldn’t move out of my way and I missed it and swore (at the train) and one of them said “Calm down love don’t have a stroke” - an eye roll would probably have been best but I said “Shut the fuck up you spotty little prick” and all his mates laughed at him, wasn’t my proudest moment but very satisfying

cleanasawhistle · 27/06/2020 10:13

I hope I would have done the same as you OP.

But a few years ago I was waiting to cross a road.
On the pavement oposite there were two teenage girls leaning against a shop window.
They were talking about me and sniggering,I crossed the road and went right over to them and said have you got anything else to say,they both replied no.
I said good job because I would have put you through that window.

Luckily for me that was the end of it.

Whatisthisfuckery · 27/06/2020 10:28

Putyourdamnshoeson I don’t think OP was suggesting it would be ok to say to somebody who is over weight. I read it as OP demonstrating the usual level of insecurity most of us would feel if we’d been insulted in that way.

OP you reacted in exactly the right way. Quiet disdain is the most disappointing thing to a little shitbag who is desperately trying to demand your attention.

Serenity45 · 27/06/2020 10:30

I'd ignore/eye roll too...in my head I want to say " I can lose weight but you'll always be an ugly bitch" but I never actually have Grin

Whatisthisfuckery · 27/06/2020 10:31

They would have amused themselves all day by laughing at you and insulting you if you’d responded. You gave them nothing, so you spoilt their fun. Well done.

Cam2020 · 27/06/2020 10:54

I'd ignore too. She's begging for attention so you did the right thing in denying it.

These things can also escalate. Some of these little chavs are desperate for a fight, or to prove themselves in some way.

mencken · 27/06/2020 11:22

the answer is indeed 'wow, you family must be so proud of you...', smirk and walk off.

really pisses them off which is what you need to do. Horrible brat.

LilBlackLab · 27/06/2020 11:25

‘Oh hi! I know your mum! How is she?’

That might shut her up

sst1234 · 27/06/2020 11:30

Don’t worry about it. Vicky Pollard lives on. I’m sure this will offend some people, but it’s true.

Ladybyrd · 27/06/2020 12:23

Oh hi! I know your mum! How is she?’

Genius.

Or just look her up and down, raise an eyebrow and smirk. Give a little tug on all those teenage insecurities.

I probably wouldn't have fared any better than you, OP. I once had a gang of kids behind me, and one of them said "Shall we nick her hat?". I thought, what am I meant to do? They were only about 12! He didn't try, thankfully.

gypsywater · 27/06/2020 12:24

I'm not convinced they're looking for a reaction and therefore best not to give them the satisfaction of this. I think the opposite - they are assuming that noone will have the bottle to stand up to them and that is what they thrive on...

Cam2020 · 27/06/2020 13:06

I'm not convinced they're looking for a reaction and therefore best not to give them the satisfaction of this. I think the opposite - they are assuming that noone will have the bottle to stand up to them and that is what they thrive on...

I used to think that too and would say something, until the time I got assaulted for it. You just never know.

dayswithaY · 27/06/2020 13:28

I probably would have looked her up and down and said "Classy" then walked away.

Crosswithlifeatm · 27/06/2020 13:46

I'd probably have stopped,looked around,inspected them and use that kind of smile you try to hide when you see something ridiculous about something.I they said anything else the response would be'you called me a fat cow so I'm just being one'.
In a more isolated situation I usually look smile and raise an eyebrow.

LilBlackLab · 27/06/2020 17:13

Silly little girls!

Moondust001 · 27/06/2020 18:50

I'm disabled, and I get this sort of thing all the time, and not just from teenagers. I stopped ignoring it a long time ago. I always turn around, raise my voice (and I am very good at voice projection) and say say something like "I'm sorry, was it me that you were calling a fat cow, you insolent piece of scum." I find that anyone with a bullying gob on them has no taste for people who fight back, especially not when everyone around is looking at them.

Regrettably we now live in a society where many people are entitled bullies. You can accept it or not. I choose not to.

julybaby32 · 27/06/2020 18:56

I think you probably gave the response that would most frustrate them. Crosswithlifeatm also seems to have a good suggestion.

gypsywater · 27/06/2020 19:55

@Moondust001 Jesus. Imagine being the parent of a teenager who verbally abuses someone who is disabled (or indeed anyone). I would feel like I had massively failed as a parent. It beggars belief. Their parents must be equally scummy.

NearlyGranny · 27/06/2020 20:05

I suspect they were daring each other to be offensive. If it weren't that it might be shoplifting!

You did right to ignore it. They might have got nasty and you were one against three. Perhaps whip your phone out and take their picture another time if there are people around? That tends to make people wind their necks back in.

Lularoses · 28/06/2020 17:44

I also think they were shoplifting come to think of it, hence the wanting to rush out of the precinct quickly.