Fed up with this shit!

[Fedupwiththisshit]

NC for this as long term poster.
Aibu to be really fucking pissed off with people on here comparing ASD to controlling, gas lighting and inappropriate behaviour.
Autistic people have so many good qualities!!
Stop presuming arseholes could be Autistic!

Rant over

Well it is unreasonable to assume horrible people are autistic. But it is not unreasonable to suggest that some people who seem horrible (to neurotypical people) are actually not, because people are making incorrect assumptions about their motivations.

Sometimes it can be difficult to tell the difference. E.g. I am autistic and when I remember something, I am very sure about how I remember it. Someone who didn't know I was autistic might interpret that sureness as me gaslighting them though, if they had a different interpretation of the situation in the first place (let alone their recollection of it), and therefore thought I was insistently lying about it.

I love it when the first post to a thread hits the nail on the head 👍🏼

@rosiejaune I'm autistic too and i just find it offensive

Well some autistic people can behave inappropriately ,my autistic child also has severe learning disabilities and his behaviour can be very inappropriate at times .

I have a mental health diagnosis and I've seen arseholes being described - 'oh he sounds like he has xyz'. It pisses me off as it's usually behaviour that wouldn't remotely be linked with the diagnosis.

Is this to do with Jonty Bravery as I haven't seen anything myself. Surely the issue there is his personality disorder rather than ASD?

Surely the issue there is his personality disorder rather than ASD?

Doyoumind And here we have Exhibit A of what I'm talking about..........

this is what I have and every violent angry bastard is described as having it.

In reality, if you have it, you're more likely to do harm to yourself than anyone else, though admittedly I'm a feisty character.

@x2boys With all due respect Neurotypical's can behave that way too!!

@Doyoumind who?

Of course Op ,but I do agree that many people on here are I quick to give an arm chair diagnosis and generalise .

I'm on the spectrum and I agree. It's such a common thing on here. Anyone who acts inappropriately is labelled as asd or mentally ill. When usually they are just an a$$h**e
As someone with asd it is very hurtful to see that the general public associate these behaviours with autism. It almost takes away from the daily struggle that neurodiverse people experience, the constant overload and the exhaustion of masking.some Mumsnetters need to step away from their habit of making a diagnosis over the internet.

I do know what you mean though. Nobody ever says, wow, what a loyal friend who’s stuck with you through thick and thin, could she have ASD? or:

What a reliable person who always does what she said she would do, no matter what - might she have ASD?

I see where you're coming from however there will be a huge percentage of the population who have gone undiagnosed just because of their age.

I get the point and people are often too quick to throw around an instant diagnosis, but if someone said "that Fred is really rude" you might say "on no! he just has XXX condition. It's not his fault"

So if someone behaves badly/oddly you DO want people to at least consider the possibility that it's a condition beyond their control.

@romdowa THIS!!!

@dontdressme YES THIS!!

@LastTrainEast Ok if an op had said oh by the way it could be possible they are Autistic, fine!
What annoys me is the assumptions from replies to a post.

I’m on the spectrum as are a few family members. I understand what you mean but sometimes it’s so clear on posts especially with the lack of diagnosed adults.

OP I'm not sure if you're referring to specific posts but aren't you confusing two different things? I think what sometimes happens is that people come on saying: "my DH/MIL/DSS is a bastard."

Then someone pops up to say: "could s/he have ASD/be autistic?"

To which other posters respond: "no its nothing to do with having ASD, s/he is just a bastard."

I think you're conflating two things. People are not saying having ASD makes you a bastard. They're saying that dodgy armchair diagnoses of ASD and other neurodiverse conditions as a way to excuse shitty behaviour are not good enough....

Unless I'm missing something.

@thepeopleversuswork i have seen many times " OP He/She sounds Autistic

Fedupwiththisshit Yeah I've seen it too and its lazy and ignorant. But in fairness it does usually get slapped down quite effectively.

I'm NT but have several family members with ASD and I couldn't agree more with you. Fed up of seeing this shit on mumsnet and elsewhere.