MIL

[Mumofoneandanotherontheway]

So me & Mil have never really got on, but I’ve always let things go & tried to get along.
She’s recently said some really nasty stuff about me to her side of the family and I’ve heard about it! When DH confronted her she owned up. He’s not really spoken to her much in 3 weeks (maybe twice) I’ve not spoken to her neither. She hadn’t seen our kids since start of lockdown and since locked down eased she’s rang my DH on 14th June and demanded she’s coming over to see the kids. Obviously he said NO! Since then she said more nasty things about me and I’ve put my foot down and said she can’t see the kids at all!
I don’t need poison in my life! DH has accepted what I’ve said but has been abit snappy recently... I’m worried it’s eating him up inside.
Was I fair to stand my ground and say she can’t see my kids (really not using them as a weapon, I just feel she will poison them aswell and say nasty stuff to them)

[PreggoFeminist86]

YANBU at all. I wouldn't be happy with my kids spending time with someone that openly disliked me...they take in much more than us adults often realise.

I have a family member who I spent loads of time with throughout my childhood & teens. They dislike my Mum. Never openly slated her, but did make 'jokes' that were thinly veiled criticisms/jibes aimed at my (brilliant) Mum, and it made things really uncomfortable for my siblings & I. I went NC with them as soon as I had DC of my own & realises how fucked up their behaviour actually was.

Nobody is owed time with your children, and it is not you that is choosing to stop contact. Your MIL is making that choice by creating conflicting, and spreading lies that could have potentially broken up your family. I mean, if she actually cared about your DC why would she do that to them?

[PreggoFeminist86]

*realised
*conflict
(I cant bloody type apparently!)

[justilou1]

My mother had my son believing that she (belong the eldest) was the boss of the entire family and was going to kick me out and I would disappear. He was about four at the time and too terrified to tell me why he was having nightmares. This in only one, small example of shit like this. Glad she’s dead.

[justilou1]

(*being the oldest)

[FirstTimeMummyDS88]

I have an horrendous relationship with my in-laws, i could write a book with all their antics. You need to sit down and talk to your DH and get on the same page as this will only come between you later on and then she will gleefully get what she wants without trying

Good Luck OP

[Mumofoneandanotherontheway]

Thank you for all your comments & putting the time to read my post. It has really made me feel better knowing from complete strangers I’m not being selfish & stop being so hard on myself.
I will stand my ground. Dh knows what she’s like and doesn’t act up to her poisoned behaviour.
She’s going to end up being a very old & lonely lady all because of her behaviour & ignorance while I sit back & enjoy with my Family