Neighbours having chat over my garden making me feel uncomfortable

[Fitlarwa]

Hi,
I live in a terraced house.
On my left I've got neighbours who in past harassed my family and since reported to the police they ignore us which is good!
On my right I've got their best friends who pretend that they are being polite to us.
Before you will jump to conclusions why neighbours dont like us I want to make it clear that they have got problem with our race and that as immigrants we have better jobs etc.

So while I'm at my garden I'm in between of two friends having chat over my head.
I've recently installed a 2m fence but that doesnt help as houses are raised and there are steps on which they stand. Then they have got their heads over my fence!
My son who's 12 and literally scared of neighbours on our left and avoids our garden because the talks that they have over his head ignoring his presence and invading his private space.

I feel it's all done on purpose to make us feel that we wont hide from them despite of 2 m fence.

Is there anything I can do?
Cant plant anything as there is no space.

Is there any law that gives me protection over their silly behaviour?
Right to privacy perhaps?

Will appreciate your support

I think you need to ask them to stop talking over the fence, because it’s just bloody rude, or if you don’t feel able to do that start logging what they are doing, the complaints about minor issues, talking over your fence etc. It is harassment, then take it up with local council, or police.
If they are doing it to upset you, then they’ll just find another way once you’ve been out and bought your hanging baskets, canopy etc. To do it. Sad twats like that always do.

@Fitlarwa

June2007 its everyday! Takes from 5 to 10 mins and it's literally over my head

I'm sorry this is happening, they sound awful. However, do you mean that they're only out there for 5-10minutes per day? If so, I get it's annoying but just don't go outside for that time and you have the whole rest of the day to be outside. If not, consider moving.

OP sorry if you have mentioned this already but do they only do it when you are in the garden? Is one of them watching and waiting and then letting the other know to come out for a chat.

If this is the case, start going out to the garden and as soon as they appear for their pathetic wind up, go back inside. When they go in, go back outside, then go in as soon as they come out again. Repeat Regularly and often over a few days. do. Ie: reel them in but then deprive them of the pleasure they seek. They will soon get bored.

If they don’t specifically wait for you but just happen to strike up conversation often (Incredibly rude and inconsiderate) do as others have suggested and sit between them and actively watch their conversation like a tennis match, moving your head back and forth as they chat. Turn the tables and make THEM the spectator sport. They haven’t got a leg to stand on.

Based on the photo, you could fit potted bamboo between the steps and the fence.

OP stating that 'as immigrants we have better jobs' sounds odd. What do you mean? Are you saying that your neighbours feel that you shouldn't have good jobs because you're immigrants? I'm just trying to understand the position.

I think they are jealous of your new garden. Lots of good ideas here for blocking them out.

Really for 10 minutes a day I wouldn’t bother with doing anything. The fact they don’t acknowledge you or include you shows they are being deliberate. Any measures you take won’t stop them trying to find a way to agitate you.

One of these but vertically. So 2 points fixed to house wall one to the ground and one, with tension wire, affixed to the fence. You don’t need planning permission for a temporary structure

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Mooballs they believe we came to this country to work for them for national minimum or less. They are the ones who think that we still their jobs and our kids places at good schools.

Could you quite casually have a mirror standing in your garden? Aim it so they are blinded when peering over the fence. Passive aggressive yes, be it sound as if they are after a reaction. Don't give them any.

Thank you all for your kind words, you all brought some relief today.
I love the idea with hanging massive planters it will look fab, sadly I've got two bamboos in my garden and both look miserable and yellowish. Dont want to buy new as it appears I dont know how to properly look after them!

I wont play music as then they will see that it really annoys me and they will do it more often

I would ask MN to remove the photos, OP.
Could be a bit too identifiable if your neighbours/ anyone who knows you should see them. Your garden looks lovely, btw.

I'm so sorry you have such shit neighbours, I've been there and its horrid. We used to have really nasty had ones on one side at our old house and I used to feel sick and frightened whenever I came home. They did loads of evil things, eg dogshit on my car screen, pulled out the plants from my front window boxes. I once recorded them cutting back the plant I had grown to screen them out, and they were saying they could easily chuck the secateurs at me and pretend they slipped and fell, and no-one would know any different. In the end I stopped going in my own garden, and had to get someone in to cut the lawn and weed.

However, what can you do about your situation? All ideas about retractable washing lines and sheets/towels, rattan (temporary) fence, are good. Small child kicking a ball at a fence or wall is really annoying. So is practicing tennis and hitting a ball against the wall or fence. Do you have a child who is about to learn the recorder at school? That could work, I used to send my daughter out to practice in the garden.

I hope you can find some workable solutions here on Mumsnet and that you are able to get some peace. Being in such a hostile environment means you are on alert all the time, its exhausting and can be quite traumatising, so be kind to yourself.

Unless you want to engage in some “I can play my music louder than you can” face off, playing loud music is the worse thing you can do. You’ll start off a whole chain of petty things. You would be far better just ignoring them or joining in the conversation.

@2littleguineas

Can you put a canopy over the patio door and steps? A wooden trellis thing with plastic, flower wall until some climbers grow?

This!

Clearly causing you alot of anxiety and from the sounds of things its absolutely on purpose.

So you feel uncomfortable confronting them & Thats absolutely fine.

How about this, sitting on the top of your steps when they start & making a phone call to a friend / family member?
You're chatting would probably be super off putting to the closest neighbour and shes not about to ask you to leave your own garden!

Giant windsail, hook it just above the door and into the garden. You don't have to leave it up, and they cost about £20. And kinda handy in the summer for privacy anyway!

Trellis? You are probably not keen on spending more though.

Wind chimes?

Does that door lead to your kitchen? Buy an echo dot and play radio when they're outside. It doesn't have to be loud just on.

I do think (easy to say harder to do) it's best to just front it ou, you dont have to do anything except sit right there in your garden and play with your son.

I love the swingball idea. 100%!

Basketball hoop?

They're bullies, and we stand up to bullies. You can do it. Any type of white noise would be grand. No young child should feel scared to use their own garden, hidious people!

I would check what the detail is around 2m high fencing as it might be measured from your top step rather than down the slope? As as it is it doesn’t convey privacy

I just want to say I'm sorry you're having to put up with this totally unacceptable behaviour. Don't ever feel you must be cowed or unsettled by it . Any decent person will feel the same as me. Don't let them grind you down even though I know that this sort of behaviour can make you feel you are in the wrong. You are not and please be as positive as you can be...and good luck with warding off their nasty attitude.

I have no answers but I am so sorry that you subjected to this awfulness. I would come and sit in your garden and drink tea with you. Please don't think that everyone thinks this way.

I second the trampoline and every time they start get your son out.

String a washing line from one end of the yard to the other. Hang double bed linen on it.

Whenever they come out and chat, get the laundry line prop and prop the laundry up so it directly interferes with their view.

Sit on the steps in your garden between them and have loud phonecalls each and everyy time they get talking. Absolute bullies.

Ask the worse one if they would like you to put up a tennis net in your garden so they can play tennis with each other which would be more entertaining for you than them shouting over your garden!

I love the idea of a trellis arch over top step to back door... Or large hanging baskets to block their view

Washing line attached high up, next to the french doors, with king sized duvet cover on it