School Holiday Worries again

[swithers]

I know there was a very active thread about this but I'm getting really worried and am looking for some perspective on what us working parents should do.

I have 1 x 10 year old who has been on her own for weeks. She's doing OK but I worry her mental health is now suffering with the amount of time she spends on her own whilst my husband and I work.

We both work full time and my application to go part time is in consideration but they are ignoring it as it's not formal (within the time frame). They will say no as I work for the NHS even though I worked flat out in the pandemic.

Grandma is 83 and too old to look after her for more than a couple of hours at a time.

We are using some leave but it will leave us with nothing left till the end of the year.

She can go to friends but not all day every day.

The regular school summer camp is closed. All the others are filling up and I don't want to send her without her friends as I did this last year and she was bullied.

I feel like I should be able to resolve this but feel anything I do puts my daughter at the bottom of the heap.

This is so unfair on kids. So very unfair. Any suggestions or kind words welcome. I know everyone has their own sh** at this time so I'm not special but feeling fed up!

Has she not been at school while you're working?

She has to go to the available provision, not ideal but nothing to say that she will get bullied again.

Does she have cousins she could stay with for a bit or other family / friends in the summer perhaps?

How far is your mums? Can she walk to her grandmas for part of the day, either making or taking lunch for her grandma?
My 10 yo is struggling too as the head has taken a decision not to allow the Y6 back to school.

Yes she has been at home whilst we've been working. The school work provided has been just about adequate distraction. With this disappearing I just feel the little structure we have will just go. No cousins or extended family.

When you say on her own do you mean you have left her home alone or that you are working from home in the background?

It must be so hard, you've done amazingly to cope this long. I have two DC and am not working (am on mat leave), I just can't imagine what it would be like to throw that into the mix too.

How about unpaid parental leave, could you use that? You and your husband should be entitled to up to 4 weeks each, unless you've used it all up in the past?

Suzie6789 sorry to hear that. Thanks for this suggestion. I suppose I'm looking for someone in the same boat. It's just so rubbish for them. I think I just need to get very creative and use all the friends and family we can find. I can also pay a bit. We are in Manchester - if you were near I would suggest we hooked up!

ohoneohtwo - oh no we haven't left her alone. She is in the front room me in the dining room and husband upstairs.

I totally understand the issue swithers, my DD 10 is getting increasing sad and withdrawn with nothing to do, her older brothers are delighted to be off and It’s not affecting them to the same extent.
She’s gone off on her own to walk to my mums (10 mins away) for lunch, with her sun cream and sandwiches as a distraction. Can’t do it every day but it’s better than staying in waiting for me to finish work!
I’m not too far from Manchester, North of the city centre).

Sorry, i wasn't sure

I think we are at the stage where you do what you can and use whatever methods work for your family as a whole. I can't get hung up over who provides childcare when the beaches and shops are heaving anyway!

There will be a number of sports activities running camps over the summer, I know in my area of a few clubs doing this even with social distancing in place. If your daughter likes sport, there may be something you could sign her up to?

can you request parental leave?

Is there a hub she can go to? In my area the hubs are staying open in the summer holidays.

Check the council pages, holiday provision is now being finalised, they have only just been told it's ok to run it. You do need to use what's available, bullying needs to be eliminated

Can’t see zoom or whatever her friends? Could you have them round? Could she visit them? If you are both wfh I don’t see the issue in taking and collecting locally as lunch or something. Is Grandma local could she walk there and back

I would either ask for parental leave or ask any friends if they can help. I’d be happy to have her come to my house for a week if she was friends with my dd.

Childminders are working again I believe. Might be a solution.

Can you or your husband shift your working day, so you have some time set aside to be with her during the day? A colleague of my husband's works in the evening, rather than the afternoon, so she can spend time with her daughter then.

If you're key workers, just wondering if you have been able to send her into school for company?

I'd definitely try for parental leave. Can your husband request part-time/PL too?

Can you grit your teeth and draw up a plan, even if it's shit.

So on a Monday farm her out to a friend, on a Tuesday have a different friend to yours, even if you're working. Wednesday go to Grandma's. Thursday you and DP alternate taking annual leave, Friday go to a friends.
It may mean that on the weekends you will have to do favours and reciprocate childcare for any friends whose parents work weekends etc.

I can't imagine how hard this is for you, mine are only little so I'm not in your boat.

Are you in a student city? Can you advertise for a Mother's Help type role for a week or 2, a cool teenager for her to hang out with, pick a social work student or suchlike so they are dbs checked.

She is not alone if you are around even if you are working. I also thought you had been leaving her home alone from your initial post! I am a single parent wfh. My son is 13. He sleeps in so I get up early and crack on. Then I usually take a long lunch or take a couple of shorter breaks to interact with him a bit working late to make up if needed.

As there is two of you, can you take staggered breaks and/or one of you start early and the other work late.

Also make sure she can talk to her friends even if she can’t see them.

Finally look up parental leave. Say you need it to spend more time with DD. It’s unpaid but they can’t refuse only defer. Info on gov website.

Would it be feasible to find a local late teen/university student who could come to your house? I used to do this when mine were younger, and they loved it. I suspect many students won’t find summer work so might appreciate it, and hopefully won’t break the bank.

If you are key workers (NHS so presumably yes) you are encouraged to take up your school place now, rather than keeping your daughter at home while you work. The guidance on this changed last week but the schools haven't exactly publicised it....

"Now that we have made progress in reducing the transmission of coronavirus we are encouraging all eligible children to attend settings (where there are no shielding concerns for the child or their household), even if parents are able to keep their children at home."

www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-maintaining-educational-provision/guidance-for-schools-colleges-and-local-authorities-on-maintaining-educational-provision

If you could access a few weeks of school before the holidays that would ease her loneliness and provide stimulation too.

I would also suggest looking at a different holiday club. Although she was bullied last year, theres no guarantee that in a different club, with different people, the same would happen again. Worse case senario she has to be pulled out the club, but I think it would be better to at least try then for her to spend the summer at home isolated.