Sister in law's behaviour

[Sarapq2]

I've was treated badly by my ex husband's family , lied about , lied to, certain friends were told by them not to contact me and I was intimidated on social media and attempted blackmail.
We got back together and I do not want contact with them.
But this is causing issues .
Aibu in wanting to call them out regarding my treatment?
The one member is sucking up to me big time but there actions resulted in me trying to end my life but I know it's a front , the appology was false .
I want them to know you can't treat people like rubbish and get away with it .

Honestly? You should leave the man, then you won’t have to deal with his family. It sounds like you need loving support and that you won’t get it with him or his family.

The one member is sucking up to me big time but there actions resulted in me trying to end my life but I know it's a front , the appology was false .

Sorry OP. They sound awful, but so does your OH. I'd say the family are not the only problem, but you also have a OH problem. If his family has pushed you to the brink of trying to take your own life and he is not backing you up in having no contact with them, you should really be considering if this is the type of relationship you want to be in.

Why were they so involved when you broke up anyway? Was your OH bad mouthing you to them? I wouldn't want anything to do with them. Your OH sounds like a unsupportive prick.

I'm quite impulsive and would have given them a mouthful by now, but I think it's best to ignore them, reconsider your relationship with your OH and get on with your life.

I’m not sure about this, because I’d say your partner was at least complicit in their actions but you seem able to forgive him? Why the difference?

Surely your partner is leaping to your defense and having words with the offending family members, considering the background here. If not, it’s a red flag. As in, a giant, glaring, 20 mile wide vivid red flag, so bright that can be seen from outer space.

Yes obviously your DH is having words with the offending family members (as they are his family), clearing up any misunderstandings and making sure that everyone knows you did nothing wrong and should be treated with respect, right?

Because if he isn't, then it's not your job and you would have been better off staying separated

YABU - to yourself.

If his family had such a negative effect on your mental health and he is not currently pulling out all the stops to prevent any unwanted contact then you are allowing him to put you in harms way again.

Ask yourself:

What does he add to your life that is worth those feelings?
What is he doing to protect you from any contact with the family members who previously hurt you?
Does he actually hold your well being firts and foremost?
Is this what you want for the rest of your life?

Where’s your partner in all this op?

YABU.
He could of stopped them at any time. He didn’t.
Leave him and get yourself some self respect.

Sorry but I have to question why on earth you want to be with someone whose family are like this. Nasty breakups aren't uncommon, but he had to know what they were doing, and was fine with it. So if you accept him got really have to accept them too. I can't see how any relationship can thrive if you refuse to speak to that person's family.

If he knows their behaviour led you to trying to end your life and he wants to get back with you, why is he still in contact with them?

Hi
He isn't the issue he understands that I don't want to be around this one person , his sister and he knew nothing of their behaviour as he wasn't in contact with any of us.

It's his sister they are close

To add he does defend me , other members of the family are disgusted by the ones actions who says she was influenced by another .
He looks after me and would do anything for me and if I'm honest we are better now after the break .
It is one individual that causes friction

You want someone to not talk to their sister they’re close with just to be in a relationship with them?

I think that’s just as bad as behaviour described.

This person isn’t it worth it.

unless your DP is 100% behind you and prepared to support you completely in this, I'd forget the relationship.

Also, where did they get the idea to treat you so badly? It must have originated with your DP bad mouthing you. It didnt come from nowhere

Honestly... I don't know why you'd want to engage with them at all. You say you want to call them out, but what exactly would you do?

It sounds awful though. Personally I'd want not to see them at all. I wouldn't want to start anything with them, but I'm maybe too conservative about this sort of thing.

Do you have family or friends nearby that are aware of the situation...it’s easy to get isolated very quickly and become ‘outnumbered’ if not and know that’s a horrible possible to be in.

To answer all comments in one go.
The comments did not orginate from my partner
Lies were told to him, ie my shed had blown up that why I could not return his mom's lawnmower , shed is intaked.
My car was locked away in my mom's garage , you can not lock mom's garage
I had threats to tell my landlord I had a cat
If I dropped my statement to police they would pay off my debts no statement was given as nothing occured
I want to call them out as people should what she is like .
Yes I have a friend who knows everything , although she was caught up in it and didn't contact me for a while