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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I don’t want to go to the cinema

26 replies

Friedbluetomatoes · 24/06/2020 09:32

I work for a disabled man. He doesn’t have major disabilities and although he is in a wheelchair 80% of the time he is very mobile and no personal care is needed by me. Basically I am mainly his driver. Twice a week I drive him to his day centre and the other day to a sport centre.
He is 40 and lives at home with his parents. I have been furloughed since March as the day centre and sports centre had been closed, obviously due to the virus.
His dad called me yesterday to say that the day centre is opening in a couple of weeks and could I start back up taking him there, of course no issue with that at all, I will wear a mask to drive and am not allowed in the day centre so can drop him off and pick him up at the end of the day. However, the sports centre is still closed and they have asked that, as the cinemas are opening he may want to go regularly and see films until the sports centre opens.
This is where my issue comes in. I have been mainly sheltering since March because I care for my elderly parents and a 90 year old in my village, they have serious health issues are vulnerable to the virus.
DH, myself and dc have chosen not to go to places, like cinemas for some time yet and really do not want to put myself and my family at risk by going with the man I work for. IMO it’s still early days, the virus is still here and I want to wait weeks/months to see how this relaxing of lockdown pans out. However, my employers seems to feel the virus is no longer a threat (his mum tells me it’s only obese people and the elderly at risk!!) and are planning shopping trips, pub visits etc next week onwards.
Would I be unreasonable to offer to take him to the cinema, settle him in and wait outside for him whilst he watches the film? (I believe his previous driver did this before with films she wouldn’t watch ie horrors). I am really not comfortable sitting in a cinema atm.

OP posts:
Friedbluetomatoes · 24/06/2020 13:12

Yes, there is a risk of him falling, albeit very minimal and it has hardly ever happened. As I’ve mentioned before his previous helper had refused to sit with him on certain films and they were all happy with her to sit in the cinemas cafe, I can’t see how my situation is that different. When it was mentioned I did say that for the foreseeable future I would not be visiting cinemas myself because of my families current health situation, I was told that, in their opinion the virus was on its way out and only the obese and elderly were at risk so they weren’t worried, we never came to a conclusion over this as the conversation moved onto something else. I am probably overthinking this and hopefully we can come to an agreeable situation over this (such as me taking him out somewhere less confined) but yes, I may have to look for other employment should they refuse my requests, at the end of the day, my families’ health come first but I would be quite upset that I would have to leave over a situation which, hopefully will be short lived because I get on very well with him and enjoy the job but still, imo, at these uncertain times, the job is not worth putting my or my family member health at risk.

OP posts:
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