To feel that neighbours have “had me”

[Apossibility84]

Single parent and no support network at all.

I have a lovely garden. Small but just suits us. It’s simple, very well looked and green. There’s a hedge that divides my garden with my neighbours. He says the hedge is his (the land registrars diagram would suggest otherwise but I can’t afford a solicitor to pursue this).
He says he is going to remove “whatever my thoughts” and replace with a fence leaving me with a wide empty space of soil.

Let’s assume the hedge is his. Can he unilaterally remove and replace irrespective of how it leaves neighbour’s plot?

I’m cross with myself as I just nodded and accepted everything. His sweet wife had offered £100 months ago during initial chat so that I could do something to fill the space, but when I mentioned that to him “I am not going to do that”.

Any guidance would be appreciated although if you can remove a hedge boundary that is yours and don’t have any responsibility to how leaves neighbour‘s garden, then I will just remove it from my never ending “to-do” list and move on (probably a good thing!) and just deal with the empty bedding as and when I have money spare in the future?

Many thanks

What do you mean Bluntness? My point is that OP is seeing this as being all about her feelings on the matter, when actually it's a legal issue that could have a detrimental impact on her ability to realise the value of an asset, probably her biggest asset. That may have financial implications for her dependents. Her tendency towards being a pushover is likely to have other detrimental impacts on her DC too.

She needs to woman up and recognise that she has a responsibility to stand up for her DC and their interests, even if she can't be bothered to stand up for herself.

I hope this decision doesn't come back to haunt the op.

What an infurating thread.

You have not taken the easy option OP. You are in for a lifetime of grief from these neighbours and anyone else for that matter. You need to learn to stand up for yourself.

If you confirm that you own the hedge, then surely he can trim it on his side back to the boundary and put his fence in front of it.

Either it is yours and what he is proposing to do is vandalism. You should at least threaten to pursue him through the small claim courts if he does what he says he is going to do. And then do so if he does.

Or it isn't yours and you don't get a say.

There have been a couple boundary dispute threads recently and they are all a bit weird. It makes you realise how 'confusion' over boundaries occurs for the subsequent owners.

It's just the sort of thing that would put me off buying a house.

OP won't be able to move when she wants to. The ex may have realised this and his offer represents concern for his child (e.g. what if OP wants to move for a different school, or to a bigger house for the DC's benefit?).

The fact they initially offered money rings massive alarm bells. It indicates they know they're taking something and owe compensation. It can also be argued to have been an agreed purchase. More mess to untangle - probably at great legal expense.

What's being a single parent got to do with boundary issue?

At the very least id be checking who has ownership of the hedge..if its him by all means roll over and accept because theres nothing you can do but if it happens to planted on your land it be round like a whippet with evidence in my hand for no other reason than your neighbout appears to be an arrogant twat that needs putting in his place..

Voted YABU because this thread is pointless and annoying. Why bother posting if you're not going to do anything? Wouldn't cost you a penny to accept ex's kind offer and send a solicitor's letter.

I never believe it when OPs say they won't be returning. She's reading.
Yes it will be hassle at selling time.
At the very least you need to mutually decide on the actual boundary line before even a leaf is removed from the hedge. If the hedge is 3ft wide and forms the boundary then perhaps the boundary is right in the centre of it, so the 'strip' your side is 18inches. Betcha those fence men are instructed to put the fence at the far (your) side of the hedge. Even in a 30ft garden that strip equates to quite a bit of land.

Just ask the neighbour for his solicitors details. If he asks why then say your solicitor told you to ask. As obviously, your solicitor wants to ensure that the fence is erected on the actual boundary. Just the use of the word solicitor might change matters somewhat.
Questions I'm asking if it's me - where's the boundary line; any marks on the land reg map indicating ownership; if not is it a shared boundary so we better have one of those nice fences that look good from either side.

sympathies OP, it's very easy for people to tell you to be tough when they haven't walked in your shoes....

He's going to take down the hedge and that fence will end up in your boundaries, almost guaranteed. If you're this passive when getting lots of helpful advice he must be able to tell you'll be easily manipulated and won't say a word when the fence goes up in your garden.

if you object to him removing this on boundary & you disagree with boundary & you have plans which states it is yours is he aware that he will have to pay for a surveyor if you disagree as well as his own independent one? he needs to know this!!!! ie it could cost him
google is your friend - are you are that you can download an ap which shows historic photos? ie google earth pro you fold back in time & it shows some quite interesting things about boundaries & ITS FREE!!!!!

@Bluntness100

This is your child's inheritance you're 'rolling over' over and giving away (if it isn't the neighbour's to take). What else will you willingly give away just because someone says 'boo' to you?

I can only assume you’re having a laugh, 🤣

I presume not having a laugh.

This is the sort of boundary dispute in the making which could easily knock 20 or 30k off the sale price when OP tries to move. That's 3 years of university fees, and all for the cost of a solicitor's letter (which OP wouldn't even have to pay for.)

My spiteful next doors put up a new fence recently, luckily they sent a note round giving me advance notice so I had time to draw a line down the brick work of my house using their old fence post as a guide, just as well I did, the fencers were having "problems" with the first post, seemed the "best fit" was by sneaking it over the boundary , surprise surprise. So I popped out and showed them my line........... New fence is cheap and orange, I am calling it Trumpie now well within their boundary, in fact I think I have gained about three inches of land, I might build a very long very thin extension

I also wanted to say I have nearly 1km of hedges, some mine, some shared, so over the years I have had more than my fair share of hedge and boundary disputes, including the legendary one where a new neighbour started to remove a large stretch so that they could create themselves a six car in-out driveway...on my land. I have one section where mediation was refused so we now each have a fence of our own 4 inches into our own land with a series of metal posts in between the two fences, with 'boundary line' painted on them.
Don't even ask about the ditches.
Just supposing the neighbour caves in at the first sign of your standing up for yourself - give it a little go.

it's very easy for people to tell you to be tough when they haven't walked in your shoes.

I'm in her exact shoes, and also find standing my ground excruciating and stressful exactly because men like this can be so absolutely vile to stand one's ground to.

However life experience has informed me that letting this sort of thing go, with this sort of man is - as a PP rightly said - the thin end of the wedge.

Letting it go inevitably winds up much more excruciating and stressful than just biting the bullet and clunking it on the head at the start.

As another poster asked, have you got free legal advice as part of your home insurance?

If you confirm that you own the hedge, then surely he can trim it on his side back to the boundary and put his fence in front of it

Absolutely what I was going to say!

There may be other things that can indicate where the actual boundary line is. In our garden, there is a fence post in the far corner, and we're 90% positive that the boundary at the house end is where our downpipe is.

There's a hedge on our side that is our NDN's responsibility. It has grown well into our garden. We put up chain link when we got a puppy 20 years ago, because NDN's dog got in our garden and terrrorised the puppy, and NDN refused to do anything about.

When our elderly dog passes, we're going to take the chain link down and cut the hedge right back to the proper boundary line, which we're going to establish by running a rope from the old post to the downpipe. We need to remove the chain link to annihilate the wild clematis that is growing on the opposite side of the chain link and which, if the weather is right, swamps our garden in no time at all.

Even if this means that the hedge, which is very old and gappy, disappears entirely in some sections, that's tough shit on our neighbour. They can sort out their boundary or deal with their dog and chickens roaming into our garden.

If the land registry says it's your boundary then he can't remove the hedge. Tell him you've checked your deeds, it belongs to you, and you don't want it removing. Tell him right now before he starts.

@PrincessBuggerPants

Either it is yours and what he is proposing to do is vandalism. You should at least threaten to pursue him through the small claim courts if he does what he says he is going to do. And then do so if he does.

Or it isn't yours and you don't get a say.

There have been a couple boundary dispute threads recently and they are all a bit weird. It makes you realise how 'confusion' over boundaries occurs for the subsequent owners.

I just looked at my deeds and to say the whole road is neatly lined up identical terraces, there's a lot of wonky and weirdly shaped gardens!

I'm pretty certain my fenced garden is about 3ft narrower than my actual boundary (given my garden is probably only about 8 or 9ft wide, it's a fair chunk to lend to the neighbour!)