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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is the most dangerous parenting

67 replies

Scrumbleton · 23/06/2020 20:55

Went to B&Q tonight- it was still scorching. I pulled into the car park to find a car parked with all its windows open and a lovely little girl asleep in the back seat. She was around 2-3 years old. Seriously who would do that after poor little Madeline. A man then exits the store with a little boy of around 6 and loads his shopping. AIBU to think this is the pits. I’m so cross about story after story on here about men shirking responsibly- yet another example- clearly couldn’t be arsed with a misbehaving freshly weakened little in so decided to place her in peril instead

OP posts:
Oxfordnono12 · 23/06/2020 22:20

I would have taken his number plate and reported to the police. People are just so bloody stupid!

Victoria6386 · 23/06/2020 22:20

Personally I would never report these sorts of situations to the police, they can easily ruin peoples lives. Possibly stay in my own car until the parent comes back to make sure she's safe.

OneUsernameOnly · 23/06/2020 22:22

I can take 2 children in my local b&q - I did it this evening. If I couldn’t then I wouldn’t have gone or I would have tried to make alternate arrangements

mamasiz · 23/06/2020 22:23

I have a little boy around that age and the thought of him being alone in a car outside a shop while I’m inside makes me feel physically sick. I know in this circumstance OP you were there and could see the father coming back to the car but in the event of anything being seen like this again - please contact the Police.

Cacacoisfarraige · 23/06/2020 22:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ellie56 · 23/06/2020 22:44

You can't take any children into our B&Q. They specifically say no one under the age of 16.

eddiemairswife · 23/06/2020 22:52

I was a parent when prams were big and it was the accepted thing to leave pram and baby outside shops. It was extremely rare for babies to be taken.

cremuel · 23/06/2020 22:55

@GracieLane

I'm not sure what's worse windows down or windows up. I suppose it's something nobody should ever have to think about because of course you take the child in with you.
You seriously don’t know what’s worse? If a child is stuck in a car on a hot day there’s a serious risk they will die from overheating. If you leave a child unsupervised in a car with open windows there’s a tiny chance something bad will happen. I’m not saying it’s a good decision, but it’s absurd to claim they’re equally dangerous. As someone above said, the reason we know about MM is because it was so unusual. It’s 13 years since it happened. Actually, I think it’s far more of a risk that she’ll wake up and be upset or wander off than that by an extraordinary chance a person who wanted to snatch a child happened to be nearby.
DanniArthur · 23/06/2020 23:00

My DD is 2 and there's no way I'd ever leave her asleep in a car while I went shopping! I know there's a very slim chance she would be abducted but the thought of her waking up alone wondering where I am breaks my heart! Plus she could climb out and wander off or anything! What a stupid, reckless man!

squeekums · 23/06/2020 23:01

Its summer in the UK now yeah?
Id have snapped a pic of his car and reported to cops. Here in Aus many kids have died being left in hot cars, its no joke and one of the very few things id report. Same for a pet locked in a car
There a tv segment where an aussie chef cooks a steak in his car, it can get that hot.

Moominmammaatsea · 23/06/2020 23:03

I hate DIY and B&Q so I’m possibly not adding much to this thread - but I’m curious to know why children can’t be admitted to the stores. Not that I will EVER be beating down their doors in an attempt to gain entry with my two DDs (single parent). It just seems like a silly rule from a company that (apparently) is demonising children as virus spreaders.

HowFastIsTooFast · 23/06/2020 23:12

B&Q do click and collect don't they? Not to excuse the guy at all but if he got back as the OP arrived he may only have been away from the car a couple of minutes, rather than wandering nonchalantly round for half an hour like some pp's seem to have assumed?

We all know that there are some bad people around but I'd still like to believe that we live in a world where the chances of crossing paths with one in a 5 minute window in a B&Q car park on a Tuesday afternoon is vanishingly small.

rosiejaune · 23/06/2020 23:44

Yes, statistically the most likely person to abduct a child is their own father.

Stranger abduction is very rare. 50 per year, and the average age is 11 (i.e. it's even rarer for them to want toddlers). Most of them are sexually motivated.

And presumably B&Q has CCTV, so they won't be stupid enough to take a child from there.

GilbertMarkham · 24/06/2020 00:02

*How do you live your life so terrified of everything?

Everyone knows Madeleine McCann's name because her disappearance was so unusual.

This child's dad made a choice and nothing bad happened.

People stealing babies from cars isn't a major risk in life. The most dangerous person around was you it seems.*

Was wondering who the fk would vote in the 13% yabu until I read this.

Absolutely fkg insane.

Would you leave a million quid lying on the back of a car with the windows down? A little girl like that is worth almost that to a paedophile ring.

Of course there could never be and would never ever be such a person in the vicinity around that time - just like there aren't dozens of paedophiles and child sex offenders (known or not) around abt town or city at any time.

This is like a plane crash - unlikely to happen but catastrophic if it does.

GilbertMarkham · 24/06/2020 00:04

You seriously don’t know what’s worse? If a child is stuck in a car on a hot day there’s a serious risk they will die from overheating. If you leave a child unsupervised in a car with open windows there’s a tiny chance something bad will happen. I’m not saying it’s a good decision, but it’s absurd to claim they’re equally dangerous.

They are different dangers - both very serious.

He should have taken her with them - end of story.

GilbertMarkham · 24/06/2020 00:07

The most dangerous person around was you it seems

Absolutely - a woman (I presume) who noticed a young child in an extremely vulnerable position and was disturbed by it ... Is the most dangerous person "around",. Not the child sex offenders (known and unknown) who share our environment ......

Honestly some if the posters on this forum. You have to wonder if they actually espouse opinions like these in real life - presumably they would be met with Wtaf expressions from people who quickly sidled away from them on a regular basis.

NotNowPlzz · 24/06/2020 00:09

A few years ago this would be normal. I wouldn't do it myself but I can understand why you would if you were popping in very briefly.

Lancrelady80 · 24/06/2020 00:10

@Oliversmumsarmy

You can’t take 2 children into B&Q
And that makes it okay?!
Lancrelady80 · 24/06/2020 00:12

@OneUsernameOnly

I can take 2 children in my local b&q - I did it this evening. If I couldn’t then I wouldn’t have gone or I would have tried to make alternate arrangements
This! This is what you do if restrictions stop you.
GilbertMarkham · 24/06/2020 00:12

It was extremely rare for babies to be taken.

Oh well then .....

Grin

I actually pissed myself laughing at that for a good minute. It's so blackly funny.

Reminds me of that Steve coogan sketch about the swimming pool manager "in 1994 noone died in the pool, in 1995 noone died in the pool, in 1996 someone did die in the pool etc" ..

I'm sure the fact that it was rare is of huge comfort to the possibly dead children and their parents.

GilbertMarkham · 24/06/2020 00:14

A few years ago this would be normal.

I don't think so.

Anyone who left kids unattended after the Moors murders and Jamie Bulger case is a fkg moron.

IWantT0BreakFree · 24/06/2020 00:20

Also the advent of the internet and the dark web has turned child abuse into a billion dollar global business. You simply cannot compare the risk to 30, 40, 50+ years ago.

GilbertMarkham · 24/06/2020 00:45

has CCTV, so they won't be stupid enough to take a child from there.

Yeah no-one's ever done anything criminal on CCTV - with a baseball cap, hood (and now perfectly ordinary) mask on their face.

Justwannabe1 · 24/06/2020 00:49

Omg this thread! 🙈

Okay let’s put this supposedly, extremely rare issue of being abducted aside for a moment ( we’ve had lots of other children abducted since poor Madeline as far as I know she’s not the only child ever to be famen) what if it’s as simple as this child waking up alone in a car and not knowing where the hell her father was.

Yes he could have only have been gone a short time but long enough for her to wake up and be distressed.

That’s why I Wouldn’t leave my child alone in a car. Lots of things could happen but even just the thought of my young child being alone and distressed is enough of a reason for me not to leave them.

And B n Q? It’s hardly been an emergency pint of milk he’s needed.

Children especially young children need supervised at all times. It’s really simple.

Justwannabe1 · 24/06/2020 00:49

*taken