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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to discuss family with friends?

2 replies

CrunchyCrumpet · 23/06/2020 20:33

DH are in different places at the moment due to work so we call each other every day to catch up. DH saw my BF yesterday and in our conversation today DH asked me if I talk to my BF about my DPs. I do, background is below. I text BF on most days generally, when I've had a particularly bad day with DM I'm in tears when I get time alone with DS during his bath (I can't cry otherwise its like the Spanish inquisition). BF supports me and whilst I accept there's nothing they can do it helps to talk about it and helps me not to dwell on it. DH said he wouldn't ever talk negatively about family to friends, family is family and they should be respected. DH said about BF telling other people about my family, DH doesn't want DS to hear other people talking badly about DPs. Said to him that he'd made me feel bad and that I now felt like I shouldn't talk to my BF when I need support with DPs. Granted he didn't explicitly say that but that, for me, was inferred. AIBU to speak to my BF about my family?

For background, DPs are currently staying with me whilst they move in to their new place, with Covid that means its now been almost a year. My DM is particularly hard to live with at times, always negative, she's racist/homophobic and has a tendency to vitriol toward me in particular with 'you're fucking disgusting' (child's toys in front room), 'you're despicable' (me trying to clarify if she actually wanted soup after she decides to make a sandwich for herself), gives DS coke knowing I wouldn't want her to, he's one. She has a long term illness which is managed.

OP posts:
billy1966 · 23/06/2020 20:52

OP
Sounds like you are officially in hell.

Talk to your BF or anyone you like to help you through it.

Your husband is a twat.
Don't pay him an ounce of attention.

How you have put up with this for a year, goodness knows.

Watch your mental health.

Flowers
CrunchyCrumpet · 23/06/2020 21:05

@billy1966 thank you, I do get it to an extent its not nice to be negative about family but I'm not sure he gets how hard it can be to live with her. His advice is to ignore it, I do try but DMs mood manages to permeate the house if that makes sense.

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