dogsnonono · 25/09/2007 13:07
Hello, namechange for this one in case dp gets wind of it...
Right, here it is, a friend of ours is embracing his new found single life (been single about 9 months, could be longer, I forget) and anyhow, he has three dogs. He has ben going away for weekends and asking my dp to dogsit, which was ok at first because it was only for a few days at a time and he would always give notice. However, a couple of weeks ago, he announced in front of a whole load of friends that he had booked a holiday in France for a week, to meet up with someone he's met on the internet - their first meeting. And, the upshot is that it was all booked and done and he just presumed that my dp would look after the dogs for 8 days. I think this is a bit rude and I feel that he is taking the michael a little too much with this one. It is the seventh time dp has looked after the dogs in about 4 months.
He says he doesn't mind but I feel that the friend is severely taking advantage of dp's good nature. We have had a bit of a row about it (me and dp) as I am not striclty a dog lover, so I don't stay round there while he is looking after the dogs, I tried it at first, but have concluded I am just not a doggy person.
We don't have dcs so there isn't an issue of me having to look after them alone while he is staying at the dog house, however, we do work long hours and I look forward to spending our time together. Nothing obsessive, we don't live together, just not centred around the dogs. Our time together is important but feel that the dog friend is taking precedence.
Also, the weekend before the 8 days away, the dog friend had asked my dp to dogsit then too and we had a falling out and dp then agreed not to do it. And, if this puts it in perspective, I had a big row with dp as he was dogsitting and couldn't get out of it, 2 days after I had just been to a relative's funeral and wanted to spend some time with him. Surely the dog friend would understand if he said no to it?
AIBU by feeling peed off by this? Who should I be feeling unreasonable towards? What should I do?
lulumama · 25/09/2007 13:11
friend is taking the p*ss
DP should have the guts to say no, if it upsets you so much
once in a while is fine, for a day or two
tell him to get a dogsitter, or at least do the courtesy of asking you before he presumes it is ok rather than presenting it as a fait accompli
dogsnonono · 25/09/2007 13:15
Dp doesn't seem to mind doing it, but I've said I won't be staying round at the friend's house while he is dogsitting. The dogs are all over the place, so no snuggle time, if you know what I mean. Oh no! Maybe dp wants to get away from me, aaargh! Dp is a very kind person though and thinks he is helping dogfriend out. I'd say to them that fees will apply for future dogsitting episodes, however, I don't think dp would feel comfortable saying this...anyone know how much kennels do charge though, as I might mention it to dp
dogsnonono · 25/09/2007 13:21
Yep, he stays there...dp shares a house with a flatmate, so maybe he likes having a bit of space, I'd believe this, however, at doghouse, there are 2 lodgers, so there's never a house to yourself. I can't work it out and don't know if I'm being unreasonable or if I should look to other areas of our relationship and ask dp if there's anything I need to know. What would you all do?
mistlethrush · 25/09/2007 13:33
Dog sitting costs approx £20 - £25 per day where I live depending whether you stay there overnight or not - and if staying, most dogsitters require fridge to be stocked before you go away. Dog walk £7 - £8.50 for 1hr.
Perhaps you should suggest that dp starts charging - then he'd be able to take you out somewhere nice to make up for the time not spent together, and he'd still be helping friend out.
dogsnonono · 25/09/2007 13:37
How much?!!!! You're kidding! No wonder dogfriend keeps asking dp to do it and as dp doesn't refuse, said friend doens't have to ask others to do it as they would probably ruddy well charge!
I'm going to take this ammunition and keep it under my hat and when/if dogfriend asks ('tells') dp he is dogsitting, I'll tell dp he should charge. We may argue though. It'll clear the air though.
Dogboy is getting an absolute bargain!
dogsnonono · 25/09/2007 13:49
Would you say I was being unreasonable if I thought the dogfriend was the one being unreasonable as he is not taking responsibility for his dogs and is acting as if he can up and go at no notice now that he has a presumably guaranteeable dogsitter in the form of my soft-hearted dp?
He's the one with three dogs!
I'm getting wound up thinking about it now...
Thank you all for listening!
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