WIBU to go through Child Maintenance Services?
Trying not to be too outing her.
Ex P has always paid about £50/£60 per month less than he should. He pays £150 that all goes on a sport that DD does. It doesn't even touch my account just goes straight to that. That's fine, he always says that money is to cover her (everything) and how I choose to spend it is done to me. I've always chosen to do it that way as it means I don't have to put the money aside for her. And also, she used to stay there 2 nights per week enabling me to work. She hasn't been staying with him since lockdown and has seen him 3 times since mid March.
She now isn't staying, and to be honest, I can't see her going back to staying two nights a week because of her age and the fact that I don't need her to as my job has changed.
I have always paid everything, uniform, school shoes, days out, school trips, tutor and obviously keeping a roof over her and keeping her warm and fed.
Whenever I have approached the subject about helping out with uniform/school trip etc I am always stonewalled and he tells me that "he pays his money, what I do with it is up to me" and that he pays over what he should anyway.
I have just asked for a bit of childcare related help over the summer- either have her for a couple of afternoons a week, or can we both take some annual leave. He totally shut me down and told my it was my responsibility to sort it out.
Now, when I have used the CMS calculator, he is paying about £57 per month less than he should.
Now I'm prepared to swallow this- but I just feel I get no other benefit from co-parenting with him now. No help over the summer, no child free nights etc etc.
Half of me wants to tell him to poke all his money, and least then I will know I've done this totally alone. Half of me wants to file for official child Maintenance. I don't especially need it, I've managed for 10 years with out it, and some of those years really struggled and could have used it!!
My reservations are that he isn't a bad dad, on the whole we get in okay (as long as I do 100% of the parenting), my family and his family get in, I like his girlfriend and her son. I just don't want to make the whole thing better.
But in some ways I feel like I owe it to DD, the £57 could sit in a saving account and she could have it when she is older. He is never going to contribute towards uni fees or a car or anything.
Mumsnetters, please tell me what to do!!